Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

[Wombatwarlord777]

Blaze doesn't look that bad, but I imagined she'd assume a more Robin Hood-like role, maybe with a robe, but without armor. Oh well.

DackAttac wrote:
Am I the only one who thinks Knuckles' shoes look as blocky and awkward as the early 3D titles like SA1 or... R??!

No, no you are not.

[K2J]

So MTV Multiplayer played part of the game and

In one level I played of the new game, I had to run Sonic down a path dotted with apples (instead of rings).

Shitstorm to commence in 3... 2... 1...

[Rob-Bert]

...apples...?

[Wombatwarlord777]

Apples...? Fuck. I really shouldn't be so surprised, given that they replaced almost everything else with something new (ie high-speed gameplay for swordplay, ect., ect.)

[P.P.A.]

I assume that was a bonus mission. Requiring you to collect a set amount of apples.

[Delphine]

In one level I played of the new game, I had to run Sonic down a path dotted with apples (instead of rings).

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Neo]

Good god, Sonic is dead. Took him long enough!

[Wombatwarlord777]

P.P.A. wrote:
I assume that was a bonus mission. Requiring you to collect a set amount of apples.

I hope that you're right. Yet something tells me that SEGA might actually be stupid enough to get rid of the rings. Didn't they replace springs and dash panels with "elements" (refering to Sonic and the Black Knight's wikipedia page)?

[Blount]

Though I have to agree on the whole "lol whut" reaction, I can't say I'm all that shocked by this. Not after seeing Sonic transform into a werehog and wielding a sword anyway.

On the other hand, collecting apples sounds really, really stupid. Didn't Crash Bandicoot collect apples? If not him, some other furry character did, as far as I remember.

[Wombatwarlord777]

Crash collected "Wumpa Fruits" that were, for all intents and purposes, apples.

[Isuka]

In one level I played of the new game, I had to run Sonic down a path dotted with apples (instead of rings).

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Really. Although they didn't work the way they were supposed to back in Shadow and Unleashed, doing away with them...
But keep reading.

In one level I played of the new game, I had to run Sonic down a path dotted with apples (instead of rings). I had to time swings of Sonic’s sword to knock down targets propped up along the path. A stampede of cows charged toward Sonic. Pressing Z generated a shield that bounced them back.

Sounds to me a bit like some kind of training stage or tutorial of sorts, like the introductory bit at Apotos in Unleashed... although it could very well be the game "proper", in which case I think I'm gonna go listen to Linkin Park or some shit.

[Wombatwarlord777]

Neo wrote:
Good god, Sonic is dead. Took him long enough!

Finally. Now the question is: What shall we do with the corpse? Shall we erect a mausoleum and keep Sonic's remains looking fresh for all of eternity?

[Kogen]

He collected apples in one stage. Big deal?

Collecting autistic, non-gendered water babies of a war God is worse.

[Zeta]

I'm trying to figure out just what makes collecting mysterious floating spinning jewelry better than fruit, anyways.

[j-man]

Nostalgia!

[j-man]

Also I think cannons have something to do with it

[Wombatwarlord777]

Zeta wrote:
I'm trying to figure out just what makes collecting mysterious floating spinning jewelry better than fruit, anyways.

Rings don't go bad and get moldy. Although admittedly rings would make for a lousy pie.

[Delphine]

Also I think cannons have something to do with it

*golf clap* Well played, sir.

[Isuka]

I'm trying to figure out just what makes collecting mysterious floating spinning jewelry better than fruit, anyways.

OK, Zeta is giving P.P.A. a run for his money at the All-Time Sarcasm GHZ Award Winner custom title. I think this' gonna get reeeeeaaaaaal good.

[Frieza2000]

Apples aren't such a big change. Remember, the rings were really just foil-wrapped chocolate. Apples are healthier, and probably provide some much needed fiber to Sonic's usual diet of chili dogs (and rings).

[Wombatwarlord777]

Well, Sonic needs the calories that those chocolate rings provide. He's constantly on the go, and if he didn't eat anything, he'd die of starvation in no time. But I suppose it wouldn't hurt to diversify his diet.

[Radrappy]

I don't suppose anyone's gotten to try this gem at the NY comic con. Nintendo power has written a glowing review of the game that some fanboys managed to scan.



Matt from IGN didn't seem to care for it at all though. Too much waggle or something.

[Locit]

Wait what? When the hell is this coming out?

[Radrappy]

I know right? We havent seen even a single gameplay video.

[Yami CJMErl]

Wait what? When the hell is this coming out?

Unless I'm mistaken, a week or two?