Cow poop (probably) not included

[Green Gibbon!]

I had to start this thread because I knew nobody else was going to:

http://www.watch.impress.co.jp/game/doc ... /shiki.htm

I never knew how badly I wanted a garden sim until somebody actually made a garden sim. One of the peculiarities about my gaming preferences - and I think this has always been true but I've only become aware of it since Shenmue - is that I like games where you do nothing. I will gleefully wallow in anything that is pretty and chill and doesn't involve game overs or timers or, well, conflicts of any kind. Needless to say, players like me are few and there's not much out there to accommodate our esoteric tastes, so when something like this happens, it pleases me on a fundamental level.

I'm gonna have a zen garden on my PS3 and it's gonna be freaking awesome.

[Isuka]

...... Well... there aren't many cows in Japan, so it's pretty safe to conclude that no, it won't include any.

This reminds me of The Sims, actually. And that Afrika project no one seems to give two shits about, and rightly so.

[Locit]

Isn't Afrika basically off-rails Pokemon Snap set in the savannas of Africa? Because that sounds totally awesome to me.

[Green Gibbon!]

Afrika looks awesome, I will be all over that like a fly on a diarrhetic rhino's ass.

By the way, I actually saw a rhino fart once. It was at the zoo and it was a chilly day and you could see the vapor erupting from the rhino's pootie. My dad saw it too. We cracked up.

Also, I saw an ostrich poop! (Same zoo, different trip.) It was big and lumpy like cow poo but white like bird poo. It was enlightening.

[G.Silver]

I saw a penguin poop at the zoo, after it dove into the water. This nasty greyish stuff jetted out of its ass as it swam through the water and then floated to the surface. My brother and I thought it was awesome.

[Segaholic2]

I got a PS3. All you niggas with PS3s add Segaholic2 to your PSN friend list and maybe I'll confirm the request.

[Oompa Star]

All you niggas with PS3s

PLAYSTATION TRIPLE BE BALLIN'!

Sorry, couldn't resist.

[Green Gibbon!]

Do you plan on ever turning it on, unlike your 360?

I saw a penguin poop at the zoo, after it dove into the water. This nasty greyish stuff jetted out of its ass as it swam through the water and then floated to the surface.

So... so it was like a turbojet of shit? That's pretty outstanding.

[Segaholic2]

The 360 is my brother's, which is why I'm never on my XBL account. Also he took it to New York this summer.

[Cuckooguy]

I'm in the camp that doesn't really like games where you do nothing. Games like Shenmue and Animal Crossing always leaves me with a certain feeling, a feeling that almost always makes me go, "Ugh, I could just go fishing myself and catch a real fish myself" or "Ugh, instead of forklifting all day I could do this tedium at my own job and actually get paid for it". They almost always leave the taste that my life is finite and dwindling away, and whenever I do these things in games that I realize I can easily accomplish in real life, these thoughts always keep coming up when I'm playing such a game so it's hard for me to become lost and engrossed in them. I probably won't like one until it has everything you could ask for in a game where you do nothing. Like a top-quality marriage of all the aspects of Animal Crossing, Shenmue, Harvest Moon, Afrika, Forever Blue, Duck Hunt, Nintendogs, etc etc., along with going on a blimp, go to the casino, the arcade, and that every activity you can do has the depth of an involving game in itself. Okay I guess maybe that's asking too much.

I remember being disappointed that I could never play pool again in Shenmue. Sure, I'd probably have played it only two more times, but still.

[gr4yJ4Y]

I used to really enjoy the "doing nothing" games, but nowadays I think my tastes have changed. I'd buy Shenmue 3 in a heartbeat, but Animal Crossing DS and all of the Harvest Moon games haven't appealed to me at all. I don't think there have been too many other "do nothing" games that have come out as of late.

[Delphine]

Animal Crossing and Harvest Moon aren't really in the same league as Shenmue.

[Green Gibbon!]

Animal Crossing DS sucked and Harvest Moon has sucked pretty consistently since MMV got hold of the license.

I want to talk about poo some more.

[DackAttac]

Ever get pinch one off that's comprised of two different shades of brown?

I call that a Reese's shit.

Or did you mean relevant poo?

[Delphine]

I saw a dolphin pee once!

Also, lately I have been eating less meat than I used to (not going vegan, it's just healthier to eat veggies) and when I, say, make myself a burger, I swear I just crap the whole thing out an hour later. It's like my body won't ingest beef anymore.

[Green Gibbon!]

Isn't that weird? It seems like over the past few years I've lost my taste for beef. I still like burgers and Hamburger Helper and similar beef products that have been spliced up beyond recognition, but I actually don't care for steak anymore. Still like pork and chicken and everything. Just not steak. I'm not sure when or how that happened.

I want to hear about the dolphin pee.

[Segaholic2]

Steak rules, you guys are pussies.

[Green Gibbon!]

It's not something I'm proud of!

[Delphine]

The dolphin pee wasn't particularly exciting, in retrospect. It was doing it's thing, swimming around, and urine jets out of wherever its peehole is. Me and some little kid thought it was the greatest thing ever.

Also, I love steak but I'm a terrible cook and won't dare attempt -- it will only end in tears.

[P.P.A.]

I've been a vegetarian for more than two years straight now, and I regret nothing.

I don't have any exciting stories about animal faeces though, unfortunately.

[Ritz]

Ever get pinch one off that's comprised of two different shades of brown?

I call that a Reese's shit.

Once, I accidentally swallowed a huge lump of rice whole, and when I took a dump a few days later, the log broke apart in the toilet to reveal a dense rice center. I called it a Klondike shit.

This post was a work of fiction, but I reserve the right to dream.

[Forza Johnman]

My dad has been crapped on the head by a cow. He wasn't too pleased by that. Also, once my mum told her brother that some cakes she made were chocolate rice krispie squares. But they were, in fact, rabbit poo.

[Green Gibbon!]

There are relatively few physical spaces in this world one might occupy that would result in cow poo being deposited upon one's head, and from my experience, those spaces are very easy to avoid. I am compelled to ask what might have motivated your father to put himself in such a position.

[Delphine]

Was your mother being incredibly stupid, or does she simply hate her brother?

[DackAttac]

I don't think that is the kind of recipe error one makes, even if incredibly stupid.