Worst Videogame Concept Ever?

CE · Post by CE » Fri Aug 20, 2004 10:38 pm

Being a game tester sucks. Imagine being forced to play some shitty game, like California Raisins or Where's Waldo. Now, imagine that you are not even supposed to finish said pice of crap; you are instead supposed to play one level over and over and over and over and over...

That's pretty much what being a video game tester is like. Though playing unreleased games like California Raisins is pretty cool...

j-man · Post by **j-man** » Sat Aug 21, 2004 5:59 am

I played some horse racing game at the arcade on Wednesday. You select your requisite comedy anime horse and race away, while sitting on a big plastic horse/saddle/pedals arrangement that you have to swing back and forth to make it run. It seemed like a good idea at first, but then I slowly became overcome with shame and embarrassment as I realised I was working up a sweat and moaning loudly, while essentially humping a plastic horse's arse. True story.

That was actually pretty fun in a disturbing way, so that doesn't count. I'll just say Where's Mario, because it was really, really shit, and also the first thing I thought of.

Lakwren · Post by **Lakwren** » Sat Aug 21, 2004 8:11 am

Heh, I remember those horses. I wonder how stupid I looked while riding it. It was fun, though I kept losing.

I remember playing in an arcade game where you had to ride a sort of ship thing and you had to pedal to keep yourself flying. It was all in japanese, so I couldn't read the rules or anything. I couldn't figure out how to manoevuer (I hope I spelled that right) so I died quickly. What a waste of money...

Post by **Green Gibbon!** » Sat Aug 21, 2004 1:00 pm

I remember playing in an arcade game where you had to ride a sort of ship thing and you had to pedal to keep yourself flying.

That would be Prop Cycle by Namco. It's emulated in mame, but (like most polygonal games) is unplayably slow, and I'm sure the experience is lost without the pedals. It seemed like a cool idea to me, though, I'd like to give it a shot.

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Sat Aug 21, 2004 3:10 pm

Boong-Ga! Motherfucking Boong-Ga!

That's only a bad game because you can play it without a machine if you're flexible enough. Or if you have a pal who's into that sort of thing.

It seemed like a good idea at first, but then I slowly became overcome with shame and embarrassment as I realised I was working up a sweat and moaning loudly, while essentially humping a plastic horse's arse. True story.

Well, I'm turned on.

Damn, I need to get laid.

Being a game tester sucks. Imagine being forced to play some shitty game, like California Raisins or Where's Waldo. Now, imagine that you are not even supposed to finish said pice of crap; you are instead supposed to play one level over and over and over and over and over...

Where's Waldo was pretty dumb, alright. Taking a picture book and turning it into a videogame. Not even altering the characters or adding actual gameplay. Just transforming mildly entertaining art into pixels and selling it. Oy.

I'd have to mill over this for a while, but off the top of my head, I'd say Berenstein Bears Extreme Sports.

I think they show that on ESPN3.

Er, does anyone else think the Berenstein Bears look NOTHING like bears? They look like people with dog-noses. And those awful afros. I thought bears wearing afros went out of style with the "Hair Bear Bunch".

Brazillian Cara · Post by **Brazillian Cara** » Sat Aug 21, 2004 4:26 pm

"Hey, kids! Can you find Waldo in this page?"

Post by **Squirrelknight** » Sat Aug 21, 2004 5:57 pm

Heh, has anyone here heard about the Jaws game for PS2? First I thought it'd be a game, where... Y'know, you have to kill/escape from Jaws... But then I heard the gimmicK:

You play as Jaws, and use your man-eating powers to stop a group of Oil Drillers from ruining the ocean habitat.

I wish I was kidding.

Oh, and there's that new Scarface game, that takes place after the movie, which makes no sense, as (spoiler) Tony Montana gets ripped apart by gunfire at the end of the movie, but whatever.

I'd put that Yoshinoya game on here too, but that actually looks like fun. And when it's one of those weird Japanese niche games I have to like by default.

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Sat Aug 21, 2004 6:42 pm

You play as Jaws, and use your man-eating powers to stop a group of Oil Drillers from ruining the ocean habitat.

I wish I was kidding.

Oh man. That would've been a freaking awesome concept if it had just been you playing as a malevolent super-shark for the purpose of feeding yourself.

I think Jabootu's review of the "Jaws" movies is right. If Spielburg had made the movies today, it would've been about conservationists saving a misunderstood shark from ebil fish hunters.

Oh, and there's that new Scarface game, that takes place after the movie, which makes no sense, as (spoiler) Tony Montana gets ripped apart by gunfire at the end of the movie, but whatever

Ghost gangsters! Fucking awesome!

Post by **Segaholic2** » Sat Aug 21, 2004 6:47 pm

Hey. Don't knock Jaws. It's being developed by Appaloosa, the same guys who developed the Ecco the Dolphin games. It looks awesome.

Trog13 · Post by **Trog13** » Sat Aug 21, 2004 6:59 pm

Didn't Appaloosa make those two crappy contra games for playstation? Legacy of war and the contra adventure I think.

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Sat Aug 21, 2004 7:04 pm

I'm sure it does. It's just that seeing Jaws act like a hippy tree-hugger doesn't exactly inspire the feeling of menace that a giant great white should.

Still, Ecco the Dolphin + Eating People is a winning gameplay style if I ever heard one.

Protodude · Post by **Protodude** » Sat Aug 21, 2004 9:44 pm

what about that japanese finger up the ass game?

Post by **G.Silver** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 5:10 am

I think that was a Korean or Taiwanese game. Not that I'm trying to suggest that it wouldn't be appreciated by the Japanese.

While in Osaka, I saw a Tsukomi arcade game. "Tsukomi" is when you have two comedians side by side and one of them hits the other when he says something stupid, and then says something like "you idiot!" or "what the fuck is wrong with you?!" So as the player, you watch the comedy routine on the screen and apply the proper tsukomis to this human-shaped dummy next to you, and then the on-screen characters perform the same move, which is rather cool as you can belt the dummy in a variety of places and it's carried over into the game. Points are awarded based on your timing. Actually I think it's a pretty neat idea. :)

CE · Post by CE » Sun Aug 22, 2004 9:01 am

Wait, there's a problem with that game design...

Squirrelknight wrote:You play as Jaws, and use your man-eating powers to eat men. Because you can.

There, much better.

Post by **Green Gibbon!** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 12:02 pm

While in Osaka, I saw a Tsukomi arcade game.

Now that's a new one on me. Did you catch the manufacturer?

Boon-Ga was developed by a Korean company. It makes sense, because while it's true that the Japanese are weird, their weirdness does adhere to a certain intangible order, which you slowly, vaguely begin understanding after years and years of exposure. The Koreans are just flat-fuck "nwaaaaaa, dunnolet'sdoitanyway, nwaaaaa" looney.

Neo Yi · Post by **Neo Yi** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 4:38 pm

Boon-Ga was developed by a Korean company. It makes sense, because while it's true that the Japanese are weird, their weirdness does adhere to a certain intangible order, which you slowly, vaguely begin understanding after years and years of exposure. The Koreans are just flat-fuck "nwaaaaaa, dunnolet'sdoitanyway, nwaaaaa" looney.

Was that a good compliment or a bad one. I happen to be Korean.

~Neo

Post by **Green Gibbon!** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 4:55 pm

Was that a good compliment or a bad one.

Neither, I think, but don't take offense. I hate all races and cultures with equal disdain, including my own. Especially my own.

Locit · Post by **Locit** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 5:21 pm

I'm surprised no one mentioned Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City. As long as we've mentioned crappy Shaq games, it may as well be noted that MJ made a game in which you traversed the sewer using both ice and fire basketballs to do something or the other.

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 5:57 pm

I'm surprised no one mentioned Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City. As long as we've mentioned crappy Shaq games, it may as well be noted that MJ made a game in which you traversed the sewer using both ice and fire basketballs to do something or the other.

To stop a mad scientist with a gigantc, almost phallic, head.

Post by **Segaholic2** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 6:37 pm

I'm half Korean, and they don't make any sense to me either. Frankly, Korean people scare me.

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 7:08 pm

I'm half-hispanic, and I'm kind of prejudiced against hispanics. If anything, it's a direct result of interaction with my father's side of the family.

Basically, every negative stereotype that people attribute to hispanics is highly prevalent in my father's family. I shamefully admit that I'm suprised when that's not true of everyone.

Post by **Green Gibbon!** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 10:36 pm

The animation teacher at UL, ie, the person I answer to, is Korean. She's got a blinking problem...

I'm pretty sure she's Korean, anyway.

Post by **G.Silver** » Mon Aug 23, 2004 2:12 am

I didn't catch the maker or even the title. The characters in the game were based on real comedians, if that's worth anything.

I knew some girls from Korea in Japan, they were some of the cooler exchange students in my classes (as opposed to the Chinese students (both sexes), who were all cocky jackasses). Meanwhile, all the Korean girls on exchange at my university here in the US just seem to be really unpleasant people every time I've seen them. I wonder if it's just coincidence or the influence of different cultures actually causes them to be like that.

Ngangbius · Post by **Ngangbius** » Mon Aug 23, 2004 4:27 am

I heard that Koreans are not typically fond of the U.S. like the Japanese are. Well that's what I heard.

And back on the original topic, I was going to nominate any game that stars a celebrity--whether they're in the sports, music, or movie/TV business. However, I then remembered that a game based on Fight Club--yes, that Fight Club is scheduled to to be released this year.

*heavy sigh*

Post by **Squirrelknight** » Mon Aug 23, 2004 9:49 am

There's a massive Korean population here. I think the Korean supermarkets outnumber the normal supermarkets here... Which is good, cause they sell Pocky and are usually a good place to find cute girls.

As for the Koreans themselves, they seem to be the same as everybody else I've come across-- Some are assholes, some are nice. Though, they do seem like an irritable bunch-- I mean, I can get away with calling my Chinese and Japanese friends chinks and tojo's, but once I call one of my Korean buddies a gook or a dog eater they go all crazy, like I just beat them at Counter Strike or something. But you can usually end most confrontations with a well timed scream of "Hajima".

And the girls are quite cute, such as this Korean singer-turned-actress: