Booger Dog

[Green Gibbon!]

I started first grade in the same Catholic school I attended in kindergarten, but I didn't like my teacher so after some hysterics and a bit of drama, my parents transferred me to a public school for the remainder of the year. It was very interesting. I don't think I'd ever met any black kids until then. In those days, teachers were still allowed to paddle students and whenever some poor little miscreant got dragged into the hall for such punishment, there was always a dead silence in the classroom. Like prisoners on death row in hearing distance of an execution. Paddling was pretty rare among the Nazis at Our Mother of Peace, but it was a daily affair at Church Point Elementary. I was much more well-behaved as a child than I am in my adulthood, so of course I never got any spankings, at least not at school.

But that's not what this thread is about.

Anyway, I met this white trash kid named Shane on my first day there. He sat right in front of me. It was all a very simple process, minutes after I got into my seat, he turned around and said, "Hey, want to be friends?" And so we were, for the remainder of the school year. Shane had a very cranky grandmother who wouldn't let us in the house at all except to pee. When I hung out at his house, we spent most of our time in an outdoor shed full of old furniture. He called it his clubhouse. Anyway, he had this translucent plastic dog that at one time, according to him, had fur that he scraped off. It stood like a trophy on top of an old dresser. Its main purpose was to hold boogers. Indeed, it had quite an impressive coat of dried nose goblins. It was kind of beautiful, the clumps of green and brown and yellow against the translucent plastic. If it were in a museum, it would be called avant-garde. Anyway, I was more than happy to add my own contribution (at school I mainly just stuck them under other people's desks).



I thought about Booger Dog today for the first time in roughly 17 years.

Just wanted to share.




Incidentally, I did some research and it turns out that there is no scientific term for booger. It's just booger.




Also, there was a kid in my neighborhood who had a (real) dog named Caca. But that's a story for another day.

[j-man]

In England, we call them "bogeys".

[Segaholic2]

At least you didn't eat them.

[DackAttac]

At least you didn't eat them.

....right?

[Radrappy]

The public school was named Church Point Elementary? What the fuck?

[Green Gibbon!]

I think I may have eaten a booger once. It had a very distinct flavor that I recall vividly, though I've never had the urge to try it again. The Bertie Botts beans from Jelly Belly are actually extremely close to genuine booger flavor.

When I was in the third grade, there was this quasi retarded kid in the fourth grade class that everyone called Booger Boy because he habitually ate his own nasal minerals. I ended up with all his old text books. Apparently I'm distantly related to him.

[Ngangbius]

I feel like I walked into an episode of Ren and Stimpy.

[G.Silver]

When I was a kid, I honestly had a picking problem. It wasn't really a picking problem so much as a complete lack of self consciousness regarding it, it wasn't until the sixth grade that it drew the ire of a teacher who (finally) embarassed me about it and put the public pickery to a stop. I don't recall what grade (surely not the fifth!) but at some point I had taken to wadding them up and storing them in a "ball" that I kept in my desk. At the end of the year (or whenever I was made to throw it out) it had grown to an impressive size.

Between the fifth and sixth grades, my family moved away fro my home in Washington because my dad had a job transfer to Montana and we lived there for a couple years before my mom got fed up with Montana (and my dad too, apparently) and they divorced. Mom moved back to my hometown and went back to school, and my brother and I went with her. Being back was a strange thing, there were some friends who I'd kept in touch with, and some that I hadn't, and I felt a certain amount of guilt for not keeping better track of them, shedding off certain childhood friends in favor of new ones. Though, in general, I was definitely a loner for my first year back. It was, I believe, during that first year that a girl, an absolute stunner, who I'd been friends with in elementary school, ran into me between classes at some point, happy to see me again.

"I remember that booger ball you had in your desk,"

she cried in delight. In retrospect, I think she still thought it was funny and even slightly cool that I'd done it, and that might have been a good time to start something, but at the time, still remembering that I must not pick in public, I was horribly embarrassed and I didn't speak to her again for years.

[The Ghost Of Ember]

I never picked, a least not while I thought anyone was looking at me. But I did chew on pencils, like a lot. I think it was more of a way of stealing pencils than a habit though. My parents would never buy me any for school, so I would request that a classmate lend me one once I ran out, sink a few bite marks in it, and- hey! Free pencil.

[K2J]

I never picked, a least not while I thought anyone was looking at me. But I did chew on pencils, like a lot. I think it was more of a way of stealing pencils than a habit though. My parents would never buy me any for school, so I would request that a classmate lend me one once I ran out, sink a few bite marks in it, and- hey! Free pencil.

I still chew pencils, and it's disgusting. I also suck at tying my shoes, since I have to redo it almost every hour. I've never really been much of a booger-guy, though.

[Green Gibbon!]

You guys wanna see something awesome? Google "snot porn".

[Oompa Star]

I don't even want to know how that works.

I'll admit that I had a picking problem as a kid. I still do it, as long as no one's around and I am near a sink. I've also had a nail biting problem for years. Finger nails have a very distinct taste. I've never amassed any of my mineral deposits though.

I need therapy real bad.

[Sniffnoy]

I still don't understand how people who don't pick their nose get the boogers out.

[DackAttac]

First, I try to blow it out, using a tissue. If that doesn't evacuate the tunnels properly, I take another tissue and make like I'm blowing again... except I'm sliding my tissue-coated finger up my nostril, to try to get the booger to stick. If it doesn't stick, I have to scrape.

That's how it's done.

[Sniffnoy]

In other words, you pick your nose, but with the protection of a tissue.

[Isuka]

I feel like I walked into an episode of Ren and Stimpy.

So, is anyone here into earwax, navel filth and/ or eyelash crab louse, too?

[Oompa Star]

As a kid, I had this weird fascination with sticking small objects in various orifices on my body. When I was four, me and my family stayed at a hotel in Wisconsin. We had Pizza Hut for dinner one night. While my parents were arguing, I took some of those pepper flakes that you get at Pizza Hut and I shoved them up my nose. It burned like a motherfucker. They ceased arguing when they found out what I put up my nose. I don't remember how they got pepper flakes out though. My idiocy didn't stop there. One day while I was in first grade, my class was doing a math activity involving black beans. With all the intelligence of a seven year old, I put one of those beans in my left ear. It stayed in there for a year before I told my parents what was in my ear. I was taken to the hospital the next day. The process of removing it was extremely painful. If anyone doesn't know, brushing an object against the ear wall causes a very sharp pain. I wasn't sedated for the procedure, why, I don't know, but they had to put me in a straight jacket and several guys had to hold me down. Several pain-filled minutes later, the doctor managed to remove the offending bean. I haven't done anything stupid like that since.

[G.Silver]

I think you just won, Oompa.

When I was in Japan I learned the Japanese word for a runny nose and/or snot. It's "hanamisu" and literally means "nose water." To this day I find that hilarious and uncomfortable.

Mostly uncomfortable.

So, is anyone here into earwax, navel filth and/ or eyelash crab louse, too?

Again, apparently the only way to really break the ice with a classy girl is to recount disgusting childhood stories. In response to (or maybe even before?) my booger ball story, the girl I had the biggest crush on ever told me that as a child she used to pick the wax out of her ears and then wipe it on the back of the bulletin board over her desk, where it remains to this day. She showed it to me once.

[RocketPunch]

I seriously never picked my nose until I was 19, and now I try to get in a good pick every chance I can get. In addition to cleaning out my nostrils, there's the intrigue that comes with discovering the types of boogers I might have at that given moment (crusty, snotty, etc.) and the satisfaction that comes with the small, regrettably pointless rebellion against my overly proper childhood.

[Senbei]

When I was in Japan I learned the Japanese word for a runny nose and/or snot. It's "hanamisu" and literally means "nose water." To this day I find that hilarious and uncomfortable.

Apparently, it's considered rude to blow your nose during a meal over there? More specifically, while slurping down hot, spicy, snot-melting soup? So you have to continue eating as mucus runs down your upper lip into your bowl where it makes friends with the noodles and wasabi? I've never actually experienced this situation, but my parents have stories...

[Green Gibbon!]

I read somewhere that it's considered rude to blow your nose in public anywhere in Japan. Which I assume means it's okay just to let it drip?

[Locit]

I believe you're supposed to sniffle constantly until you can sneak away and blow it without shaming yourself and those around you.

[DackAttac]

Can you dab?

[G.Silver]

I'm remembering you can dab and wipe, but actual blowing is offensive, I guess it's the sound. Funny thing for a society where it's impolite to not make slurping sounds while eating soup.

[j-man]

I guess it's fine to show you're enjoying your food, but God forbid you should take pleasure in removing excess mucus from your body.