Michael Jackson's Sonic 3 (Video Documentary)

Baba O'Reily · Post by **Baba O'Reily** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 4:50 pm

G.Silver wrote:God I hate Steven Segal. I don't even have to justify that opinion. There is no action movie star who I would rather see fall into a hole and die from it.

Not even Keanu? I mean, it's far more likely that he's going to.

Light Speed · Post by **Light Speed** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 5:33 pm

Omni Hunter wrote:I like Segal, but only because he has been depicted as a badass chef.
As for the definitive Action Hero, I couldn't really care, I stopped watching stuff like that when I was yay-high.

Dude, Jackie Chan was a way better badass chef! Mr. Nice Guy!

jenkins · Post by **jenkins** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 6:02 pm

Nice guys don't get mad...they get even.

Trite, of course, but still the catch phrase which reeled me into my first Jackie Chan movie. I was, like, 11. So much about that movie was good...the whole carpentry and blue doors part in particular.

chriscaffee · Post by **chriscaffee** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 6:59 pm

Reeves has two redeeming qualities over Seagal: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and the first Matrix.

Protodude · Post by **Protodude** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:37 pm

Bill and Ted are okay movies. Certainly overrated.

And what the fuck's up with that Red Cross ad on the bottom of this page?

Post by **Delphine** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 9:06 pm

Protodude wrote:And what the fuck's up with that Red Cross ad on the bottom of this page?

Locit · Post by **Locit** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 9:16 pm

Having just yesterday watched "Marked for Death", a Segal film of, um, questionable quality, I'd have to say it had one of the worst plots I've ever seen, the most terrible acting by any single protagonist ever, and the longest stretches of inaction and terrible exposition that exist in this universe to my knowledge. Also, despite attempting (hilariously) to prevent racial stereotyping of immigrants from the Carribean, it more or less seemed like it was trying to convince me that all persons of Carribean descent in North America are here to sell drugs, especially crack, if possible to suburban teens. In addition to this, during a bar scene early in the movie while Segal and Token Black Guy are drinking a small number of sleazy Mafiosos enter. The following dialogue is a rough recollection:

Segal (derisively): Looks like we got some homos in here.
Token Black Guy (with a suspicious excitement): AWWW YEAH!

Like the fucking Cool-Aid Guy.
On the plus side it had a naked gypsy, so if you were to judge the movie solely on wether or not it contained a naked female gypsy, you would have to give it a 10 out of 10. Additionally, Segal kills a guy by castrating him with his own sword, so there's that.

chriscaffee · Post by **chriscaffee** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 10:06 pm

Delphine wrote:
Protodude wrote:And what the fuck's up with that Red Cross ad on the bottom of this page?
<a href="http://ghzforum.nathantsui.com/viewtopic.php?t=1592">OH NOES</a>

Yeah. I can't believe he didn't just look one minute into the future and answer his own question.

Opa-Opa · Post by **Opa-Opa** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 10:09 pm

The one thing I like about Steven Seagal is that he killed Tommy Lee Jones once.

I agree that Jackie Chan is the best action chef.

Right after Chuck Norris, of course.

Post by **Delphine** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 10:12 pm

chriscaffee wrote:
Delphine wrote:
Protodude wrote:And what the fuck's up with that Red Cross ad on the bottom of this page?
<a href="http://ghzforum.nathantsui.com/viewtopic.php?t=1592">OH NOES</a>
Yeah. I can't believe he didn't just look one minute into the future and answer his own question.

I was only pointing it out to him, assmagnet.

Light Speed · Post by **Light Speed** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 11:54 pm

chriscaffee wrote:Reeves has two redeeming qualities over Seagal: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and the first Matrix.

The first Matrix was good, but I don't know how much of that I would attribute to Reeves. I don't think it would have been any worse off if they replaced him with a plank of wood with a smiley face.

chriscaffee · Post by **chriscaffee** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 1:21 am

No Lightspeed. If Keanu has mastered anything in "acting" it is being confused. No one else can play a confused character like Keanu, not even a plank of wood.

Opa-Opa · Post by **Opa-Opa** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 1:21 am

Just two words:

Johnny Mnemonic.

Light Speed · Post by **Light Speed** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 11:54 am

chriscaffee wrote:No Lightspeed. If Keanu has mastered anything in "acting" it is being confused. No one else can play a confused character like Keanu, not even a plank of wood.

Well this isn't any ordinary plank of wood. This one has a smiley on it!

Baba O'Reily · Post by **Baba O'Reily** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:20 pm

I must admit. Keanu's perpetually confused* state is quite inspired in the right context. Unfortunately, he stays in that clueless state for the entirety of movies, Constantine nonwithstanding**.

**It sucked, so it doesn't matter how much Keanu pretended to act.

The GHZ Forum

Michael Jackson's Sonic 3 (Video Documentary)

*Read: stoned. If it's up here, is it still a footnote?