I taste like cajuns!

jenkins · Post by **jenkins** » Fri Jan 13, 2006 6:41 am

Ever seen Japanese ads? They run pretty much like this:

A Ramen Story
GENERIC SPICY CAJUN RAMEN: Hi I am spicy ramen look out for me I taste like cajuns!
ME: Spicy Cajun Ramen! Ha! So-Called Spicy Cajun Ramen! You are not spicy for me! Look at how I eat whole bowlsful of you and not quake with spicy fear! Your flavor would not be exciting even a single endorphin! Run and hide and weep, you weepy not spicy ramen thing! I have no more time for your mildness!
ANOTHER SPICY RAMEN: Hello I am another spicy ramen made by another brand that usually makes ones that taste like roast beef or I don't know Oriental Flavor whatever that means
ME: Ha ha ha! Another Loser Ramen! Like the pathetic Spicy Cajun before you, you are not spicy, you are weak! Look at how I am simultaneously eating you and use you for eyewash at the same time! Weak! Go back to your weak house on Weak Street!
RAMEN HOT: I have heard of you. I am Ramen Hot.
ME: More like Ramen Not, I am willing to wager! Ha! Do you see what I did there? Let me continue to make jokes at your expense while I cooking you up on the stove!
RAMEN HOT: Do not forget to put the spice packet in the boiling water as you cook the noodles.
ME: I shall feast upon your false spiciness tonight, and then sing anti-praises of your worthlessness!
RAMEN HOT: We shall see.
ME: Any last words before you are prepared to be mocked, Ramen Hot?
RAMEN HOT: Vegetable packet includes shiitake mushroom, pepper, onion, dehydrated.
ME: Whoa, wait a minute, I can see the oil separating in the water.
RAMEN HOT: That is the spicy. For I am Ramen Hot.
ME: It's completely coated the noodles! They make the noodles taste of spicy!
RAMEN HOT: Milk cannot help you now.
ME: I'm feeling it under my eyes!
RAMEN HOT: Do not handle mucous membranes after partaking of Ramen Hot.
ME: I don't even want to try and drink the broth!
RAMEN HOT: Drink the broth.
ME: I can't!
RAMEN HOT: DRINK THE BROTH.
ME: Oh my god why did I drink the broth
RAMEN HOT: Laughing now? You should laugh elsewhere!
ME: Gaaagh, you win! I am surrender! You are too much for me, Ramen Hot!
RAMEN HOT: Now you know better than to mock the Ramen Hot. My work here is done.
ME: And why did I have this at 2 AM?

You can see it in its original format here.

No, I didn't write it.

Prophetic_Flame · Post by **Prophetic_Flame** » Fri Jan 13, 2006 8:48 am

*looks at the article and shakes her head* I am in aweof the general pointlessness of this...read a few lines down then stopped...tis a waste of time.

Senbei · Post by **Senbei** » Fri Jan 13, 2006 12:15 pm

Japanese commercials are awesome. My sensei in Japanese language class once showed us clips of various commercials, and they are the most bizzare things you will ever see on TV. Take Ronald McDonald for example.

Omni Hunter · Post by **Omni Hunter** » Fri Jan 13, 2006 12:45 pm

Dude, Ronald is totally pimped up! Why can't he be like that over here?

Senbei · Post by **Senbei** » Fri Jan 13, 2006 1:27 pm

I feel that way about most American merchandising. Japanese commercials are totally overdramatized and way more interesting than anything Americans conceive. The closet match I can think of are the PSP commercials.

jenkins · Post by **jenkins** » Fri Jan 13, 2006 1:27 pm

Because many Americans hate anything foreign, no matter how cool. God, I love Japan.

Double-S- · Post by **Double-S-** » Fri Jan 13, 2006 2:48 pm

What do Japanese commercials have to do with American dislike of foreign products?

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Fri Jan 13, 2006 2:50 pm

peaking of which, today we wached "Kodoma Nyusu" in Japanese. "Kids News" - hosted by a talking robot monkey.

They showed new year's celebrations in Japan for the year of the dog - they had dogs deliver new year's cards to people.

Good luck doing that next year with the year of the snake.

"Massive greeting-card related snake attacks hit Japan."

And year of the Dragon deliveries will just be impossible without advanced genetic engineering.

Apparently those nutty Japanese celebrate the first sunrise of the new year instead of at midnight. I guess they can't stay awake.

Also, the teacher showed us footage of a blizzard covering half of Japan while a heat wave hit the other half. Then she cursed global warming in Japanese.

Senbei · Post by **Senbei** » Fri Jan 13, 2006 3:13 pm

I've love to be able to curse global warming in Japanese. Can you reproduce what she said?

jenkins · Post by **jenkins** » Fri Jan 13, 2006 4:21 pm

Zeta wrote:peaking of which, today we wached "Kodoma Nyusu" in Japanese. "Kids News" - hosted by a talking robot monkey.

They showed new year's celebrations in Japan for the year of the dog - they had dogs deliver new year's cards to people.

Good luck doing that next year with the year of the snake.

"Massive greeting-card related snake attacks hit Japan."

And year of the Dragon deliveries will just be impossible without advanced genetic engineering.

Apparently those nutty Japanese celebrate the first sunrise of the new year instead of at midnight. I guess they can't stay awake.

Also, the teacher showed us footage of a blizzard covering half of Japan while a heat wave hit the other half. Then she cursed global warming in Japanese.

1: Next year is definitely not the year of the Snake. That would be in 2013, palbert. Dragon is 2012. Who knows what it'll bring o_0

2: Japanese have trouble staying awake? Dude, this is the country which invented "Regain," a chemical drink guaranteed to give you 24 productive work hours. They also market "Regain 48," which needs no further explanation.

Light Speed · Post by **Light Speed** » Fri Jan 13, 2006 6:19 pm

Yeah, it gives you a heart attack for 48 hours straight, then you die.

Majestic Joey · Post by **Majestic Joey** » Sat Jan 14, 2006 3:12 pm

The japanese can pull off wearing the gayest looking clothes.
That's supposed to be a compliment.

Post by **Pepperidge** » Sat Jan 14, 2006 6:37 pm

http://www.youtube.com/w/Toei-Spider-Ma ... spider-man

They make a damned good live-action Spider-Man, though.

Ritz · Post by **Ritz** » Sat Jan 14, 2006 9:24 pm

I think I can safely say that growing up in America has deprived me of a childhood.

Prophetic_Flame · Post by **Prophetic_Flame** » Sat Jan 14, 2006 9:42 pm

And I can safely second that

Senbei · Post by **Senbei** » Sat Jan 14, 2006 10:28 pm

Ritz wrote:I think I can safely say that growing up in America has deprived me of a childhood.

Funny you should say that in reference to Japan, 'cause of the controversy over, you know, the ridiculously difficult schooling kids have to go through from before they've left the uterus. ^^;;

Kishi · Post by **Kishi** » Sat Jan 14, 2006 10:31 pm

Yeah, it's no one's fault but your own if you missed out on childhood growing up in America.

VGJustice · Post by **VGJustice** » Sun Jan 15, 2006 4:23 am

In America, you can have a childhood until the day you DIE. I feel for the Japanese, but I appreciate their ultra weirdness as it brightens my day.

Zaranth · Post by **Zaranth** » Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:37 pm

Pepperidge wrote:http://www.youtube.com/w/Toei-Spider-Ma ... spider-man

They make a damned good live-action Spider-Man, though.

Spiderman and Power Rangers combined. Truly a blessed creation straight from God him/herself.

It looked like Spiderman was hoping for a ride from that poncho dude at the end.

Kishi · Post by **Kishi** » Sun Jan 15, 2006 3:54 pm

It saddens me that the extent to which most Westerners are aware of low-rent Japanese super hero/giant monster entertainment is Power Rangers. And that's not me being a snob. The world would be a legitimately better place if everyone were in the know about Ultra 7, Kamen Rider, Pepsiman, and so on.

Majestic Joey · Post by **Majestic Joey** » Sun Jan 15, 2006 8:28 pm

One thing that's been bothering me about the japanese is why do they give their robots swords instead of guns?

plasticwingsband · Post by **plasticwingsband** » Sun Jan 15, 2006 8:48 pm

Majestic Joey wrote:One thing that's been bothering me about the japanese is why do they give their robots swords instead of guns?

because they love samurai even more than hairy bush

and based on the amount of asian porn i've seen (far too little to have any real grasp of what i'm talking about), i'd say them asians love hairy bush quite a lot

which should tell you how fond they are of swords

Protodude · Post by **Protodude** » Sun Jan 15, 2006 11:52 pm

Kishi wrote:It saddens me that the extent to which most Westerners are aware of low-rent Japanese super hero/giant monster entertainment is Power Rangers. And that's not me being a snob. The world would be a legitimately better place if everyone were in the know about Ultra 7, Kamen Rider, Pepsiman, and so on.

You forgot Kikaider, although I don't know if it's any good.

....or maybe Kikaider is some sort of mech anime. I don't remember

The T · Post by **The T** » Mon Jan 16, 2006 9:36 am

Protodude wrote:
Kishi wrote:It saddens me that the extent to which most Westerners are aware of low-rent Japanese super hero/giant monster entertainment is Power Rangers. And that's not me being a snob. The world would be a legitimately better place if everyone were in the know about Ultra 7, Kamen Rider, Pepsiman, and so on.
You forgot Kikaider, although I don't know if it's any good.

....or maybe Kikaider is some sort of mech anime. I don't remember

Kidaida is both.

jenkins · Post by **jenkins** » Mon Jan 16, 2006 1:39 pm

Ultra 7 = Ultraman...?

I remember watching Urutoraman when I was in Japan back in '93. I also watched Anpanman, which I see has been unfairly left off the list. Is that because it's an anime and not live-action?