Shadow of a Hedgehog game: Shadow packs a GUN!!1

Argent Silver · Post by **Argent Silver** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 12:52 pm

For shame. Aside from the fact that this is a scourge of SoA, it doesn't mean you shouldn't be a fan of the classics.

No, you misunderstand me. I love the classics. But I can't continue to buy Sonic games when each new one is a bigger letdown than the last. I'll continue to play my SMC, but I won't be buying any of this Grand Theft Sonic crap, with shitty camera control and terrible level design.

Protodude · Post by **Protodude** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:04 pm

Wow, 10 pages. This just might beat the boobies thread.

Post by **Green Gibbon!** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:16 pm

Not only that, but this is the longest any thread has ever remained on-topic.

Spazz · Post by **Spazz** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:16 pm

Protodude wrote:Wow, 10 pages. This just might beat the boobies thread.

SHUT UP! NO IT WON'T! IT DOESN'T MAKE ANYMORE SENSE ANYWAY AND SHOULD BE LOCKED!

chriscaffee · Post by **chriscaffee** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:16 pm

I'm glad. Any shred of hope I had for the series had been totally destroyed. I can walk away from this shitty franchise and block out everything that happened after 1998.

Omni Hunter · Post by **Omni Hunter** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:27 pm

Protodude wrote:Wow, 10 pages. This just might beat the boobies thread.

Hmmm... would the game sell well if Shadow had boobies?

Spazz · Post by **Spazz** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:42 pm

SEE?! WHAT'D I TELLYA?!

Omni Hunter · Post by **Omni Hunter** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 2:18 pm

Ah, but on a serious note what other characters may Shadow come across in the game, a female counterpart maybe?

Samface · Post by **Samface** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 2:26 pm

Omni Hunter wrote:Ah, but on a serious note what other characters may Shadow come across in the game, a female counterpart maybe?

A female character in the Sonic universe with boobies who hangs out with Shadow?

I WONDER.

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 3:45 pm

The funny thing is, if any Sonic character were to be given a gun - it would make the most sense with Rouge. She's been trained as a special ops agent for the US government, she's an ex-jewel thief, she doesn't have many powerful uber-abilities like Shadow, and unlike Shadow - she's perfectly fine with doing whatever she wants as long as it suits her.

So yeah, Shadow with a gun is not only out of character, betrays the feeling of the series, but it also makes no fucking sense.

Rouge with a gun wouldn't be that out of character, it'd make a little sense, so it'd only betray the feeling of the series . . .

Speaking of which:

http://www.somethingawful.com/

If there's one thing the long-running Sonic The Hedgehog series is all about, it's using a handgun to kill the fuck out of your enemies in a gritty world. Right? Sega seems to think so, as the recently announced Sonic Adventure 3: Shadow of Hedgehog (that's 100% real) will feature a darker version of Sonic - creatively called Shadow - running through slums and blowing bad guys' cuddly little skulls apart, presumably to expunge multitudes of golden rings hidden inside.

To some this might appear to be an unnatural change, like a Mario title with nudity or a Tomb Raider game that's good. I say it's a move in the right direction, but it's still not enough. My finger is on the irregular pulse of the gaming community so I can safely state that no one wants originality or unique gameplay elements. What they do want is a bit of the old ultraviolence, a steaming side of the profane, a bowl of the macabre, a teacup full of sexuality, and a gravy boat filled with gravy.

Heads getting lopped off, exposed breasts, torture, geysers of blood, needles penetrating the viscous surface of human eyeballs; this is what it takes just to make a decent opening cinematic. In these exciting times, we've discovered that a non-player character with impressive cleavage is an acceptable alternative for an NPC with well-written dialogue, and that a main character with a sassy attitude can easily replace a carefully detailed backstory. By leaving out such time-consuming aspects of game development, creators can finally focus on making realistic blood spray patterns and cranking the brightness of each texture down to a level of darkness best classified as "gaping abyss of Starr Jones' vagina".

Think I'm way off? You're really argumentative, and wrong too. Not only is Sega on my side, but a crop of recently announced titles will back me up further. Like Shadow of Hedgehog, these games take classic franchises and update them with an amount of grit you won't find in even the biggest box of grits. Unless you shop at one of those places that sell eighty rolls of toilet paper in one package and giant canisters filled with twelve frozen pizzas.

Omni Hunter · Post by **Omni Hunter** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 3:46 pm

Hmmmm, the Shadow/Gun thing has inspired me for a sketch in my sprite comic. The Gun brainwahes Shadow or it's stuck to his hand with superglue...

Anyway, boobies bigger than Rouge's?

Post by **Esrever** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 4:03 pm

Nack! Nack could have handguns!

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 5:06 pm

He has to have handguns. The only thing he can do without them is bounce on his fucking tail and ride around in a faggy scooter he calls "The Marvelous Queen". Yeah, he wishes.

Speaking of which, I don't think he understands what sniping means. It generally does not mean you ambush your oponent, taunt them, then bounce around on your ass trying to squish them. Or at least, it doesn't in my experience.

chriscaffee · Post by **chriscaffee** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 5:17 pm

He doesn't have to use handguns. He could make like his name and use a sniper rifle. Or even craft sneaky traps. Bear traps.

Grant · Post by **Grant** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 6:04 pm

...as the recently announced Sonic Adventure 3: Shadow of Hedgehog (that's 100% real)

Wait. This is really Sonic Adventure 3? Or was Something Awful just being retarded?

j-man · Post by **j-man** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 6:10 pm

Don't. Don't push me any further.

Post by **Esrever** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 6:13 pm

A lot of the initial reports called it "Sonic Adventure 3," but that was edited out almost immediately afterwords. Must have been a crossed wire somewhere.

SegaSonic · Post by **SegaSonic** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 6:27 pm

all this is because they merged with SEGA again? Right?

Remember, Mean Machine and Sonic SpinBall?

Well like that, ONLY WORSE.

Spazz · Post by **Spazz** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 7:02 pm

What?

J.E.Smith · Post by **J.E.Smith** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 7:13 pm

Just noticed this:

http://www.sonicworld.net/~sw/games/gam ... aalert.pdf

According to that, this is just one of several Sonic games being produced. So there's some small hope one of them will end up being better than this.

Post by **Esrever** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 7:22 pm

In that case, I'm standing by my earlier theory that Shadow is a PS2 exclusive, while a different Sonic project will be showing up on Gamecube. Even a company that is stunned enough to give Shadow a handgun couldn't possibly be so stupid as to think a more "mature" Sonic game would do better business on the GC.

Post by **Crazy Penguin** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 8:09 pm

Judging from the Sega.com poll I guess we can expect a lot of spinoffs. The Sonic series has come a long way since its debut in 1992!

SuperKnux · Post by **SuperKnux** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 9:00 pm

Wait, what? 1992?

Protodude · Post by **Protodude** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 9:37 pm

92 in England, maybe?

Spazz · Post by **Spazz** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 9:40 pm

The GHZ wrote:<B>Europe</B>
June, 1991