An Early Correspondance from the desk of Dr. Eggman

[Zeta]

The following letters have been recovered in a vault hidden amongst the rubble of the Egg Carrier II:

* * *

Dear Chief W. Strong,

I am nearing the end of completing my doctoral thesis in robotics at Station Square University. To complete my project, I require some assistance.

Let us imagine, hypothetically speaking - that Station Square was attacked by a large, robotic, frog. It's dimensions would approximately be the shape of an average van (not mini-van, mind you). It would be completely bulletproof, of course. It's weaponry would consist chiefly of a strong, coiled tongue 60 feet in length. It would also be supported by a pair of motorized fan blades, and a torpedo launcher that shoots explosives in the shape of tadpoles.

A combination of powerful fans, motors, and strong shock-absorbant legs would allow it to leap 20 stories into the air with little effort.

Keeping all of this in mind - how would the Station Square Police Force respond to this threat, if it went around town stealing money and valuables from every jewelry store and bank in town?

This is all hypothetical, of course!

I eagerly await your reply.

Sincerely,
Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik

* * *

Ivo Robotnik,

We at the Station Square Police Department are always pleased when civilians take interest in the duty of protecting and serving our country. We are also more than happy to help futher the educaiton of outstanding citizens such as yourself.

To that end, I must clarify one detail before answering your question.

Is this a robot FROG, or a robot TOAD?

Sincerely,
Chief William Strong, STPD

* * *

Dear Chief W. Strong.

Frog. Remember - hypothetical.

Sincerely,
Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik

* * *

Ivo Robotnik,

Thank you for the clarificaiton.

To answer your question: We'd be completely helpless for the two hours it would take for the national guard to reach the city. We'd try to barricade and evacuate certain areas or chase the frog down with helicopters - but it wouldn't be much use.

I hope this helps you.

Sincerely,
Chief William Strong, STPD

* * *


Dear Chief W. Strong,

Excellent.

Sincerely,
Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik


* END COMMUNICATION

[chriscaffee]

Wouldn't it be "SSPD?"

[Zeta]

These are not the droids you are looking for. *waves hand in your face*

[Segaholic2]

You'd think that a genius like Eggman would grasp the grammatical concept of a possessive "it". You know, without the apostrophe.

[Knuckles Dawson]

Wouldn't it be "SSPD?"

You'd think that a genius like Eggman would grasp the grammatical concept of a possessive "it". You know, without the apostrophe

Owned

[Green Gibbon!]

I dunno, I've seen college professors use some pretty horrible grammar. I think when they reach a certain point, they simply can't be bothered with basic grammar anymore. Like they've moved to a higher plane of intelligence.

Except English professors, of course, but they're on another plane entirely.

[Owen Axel]

Heh.

[The Scarlet Scorpion]

Well, Zeta, once again I am in awe of you. This time it's because you've been able to pull off a task I tried here once: writing a wacky Eggman-centric fanfiction that's actually worth the binary code it's made of.

>The Scarlet Scorpion gives Zeta the "thumbs up."<

Except English professors, of course, but they're on another plane entirely.

A Cessna, if I'm not mistaken.