With great power comes great opportunity to abuse it.

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 4:20 pm

So, yeah - I've been on a superhero kick lately. Actually, I've kind of been on a superhero kick my entire life - but since I've played Viewtiful Joe, I've been even more interested in the concept of superheroes.

Somehow, dressing up in flamboyant costumes that accent your body, acting out melodramas, going on bonding adventures with your sexy sidekick, and lording your abilties over the "norms" just really appeals to gay guys. Who knows why? It's a true mystery.

So here's the typical nerd question - if you could have ONE superpower - what would it be? I can't decide. It would obviously change depending on how I was feeling on any given day - do I want to be a hero and show off? Or do I want to steal everything not nailed down within a twenty-mile radius? Or mind-control some locals into performing in personal sex
shows?

I'd abuse it so much, I'd make Dr. Doom look like he had self-control.

In the end, I'd have to go with shape-shifting. The good kind, where you can turn into anything. Not the crappy kind where you just shift your mass around. Not only could you make yourself look like anyone, but you have access to basically any ability that an animal has.

And it would be sure to spice-up your sex life.

And you know what's really scary? The thought of everyone here on this forum becoming superhuman? Super GG, Pep, Pop, Crazy Penguin, Delphine, and god forbid - J.C.? There wouldn't be a safe place on Earth.

And here's the question specific for this forum - out of the entire Sonic cast, who has the suckiest superpowers?

Sonic's pretty cool with his superspeed, but considering that gameplay-wise - he's only marginally faster than the other 14 or so characters - he doesn't seem that special anymore.

Spazz · Post by **Spazz** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 4:27 pm

I'd have the power to do whatever the fuck I want. If I want to be invisible, I am. Shape-shifting? No problem.

Yep.

Ash Holt · Post by **Ash Holt** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 4:29 pm

Chainsaws for hands.

brRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMm!

Post by **Segaholic2** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 4:31 pm

Invisibility or flying. HRM.

Shadow has the suckiest powers. He has the power to be angsty, whiny, and gay. That's pretty lame.

Light Speed · Post by **Light Speed** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 4:32 pm

I think DareDevil is a pretty lame super hero. I forgot who pointed it out, but he is just a blind guy that can see.

Him or Batman.

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 4:33 pm

I'd have the power to do whatever the fuck I want. If I want to be invisible, I am. Shape-shifting? No problem.

Yep.

That's called "Being a Bush".

Chainsaws for hands.

brRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMm!

And you could have missle-boobs, and cheew on nails and spit them out like a machinegun!

Sparkimus Prime!

Light Speed · Post by **Light Speed** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 4:36 pm

Damn, when I clicked on this thread it had no replies, by the time I finished my post it had all those. That was quite exciting.

Spazz · Post by **Spazz** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 4:38 pm

Zeta wrote:That's called "Being a Bush".

Hm, that's true. Y'know, that means that Del would hate that power then.

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 4:40 pm

Shadow has the suckiest powers. He has the power to be angsty, whiny, and gay. That's pretty lame.

The little bastard doesn't even have superspeed. He needs special shoes to get him running.

Invisibility or flying. HRM.

Unless you're really good at being quiet, don't pick invisbility. If you're in someone's locker-room and . . . enjoying yourself, moaning would alert them to your prescence.

plasticwingsband · Post by **plasticwingsband** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 4:45 pm

Flying first, with invisibility coming in a close second.

Spazz · Post by **Spazz** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 4:45 pm

Zeta wrote:Unless you're really good at being quiet, don't pick invisbility. If you're in someone's locker-room and . . . enjoying yourself, moaning would alert them to your prescence.

"OMFG Where'd that flying jizz cum from?!"
I know, it's lame.

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 4:59 pm

While we're on the subject of comic-book heroes, Keanue Reeves is being involved in the case of one of the worst casting choices ever.

Mr. Reeves, a dopey, none-too-bright, American is playing John Constantine - a quick-witted, sarcastic, selfish, Englishman.

Obviously, this is another case of Amerio-centric obsession - if a person isn't from America, they aren't worth shit.

Er, anyways - Constantine is the star of a comicbook called "Hellraiser". He's a sleazy conman with limited magical powers. He sucks at magic, so he usually ends up talking or scamming his way out of trouble.

Now for the punchline - Reeves is starring in the Constantine movie . . . but Constantine was recently outed as being bisexual in his own comic book.

I like to picture Keanue learning this at the movie's premier and realizing that he just threw some more fuel on the gay rumors flame.

j-man · Post by **j-man** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 5:02 pm

dopey, none-too-bright, American

Aren't those all synonymous?

Buurrrrrned.

Spazz · Post by **Spazz** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 5:04 pm

j-man wrote:Buurrrrrned.

Nah, you're right for the most part.

J.C.14 · Post by **J.C.14** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 5:05 pm

I want the abilitiy to mausterbaute and the orgasm lasts longer, Oh Yes!!!

Or the ability to change my gender any time I want...

j-man · Post by **j-man** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 5:11 pm

Dear...God. O___o

Post by **Green Gibbon!** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 5:15 pm

Oh, there's no question about it. Americans are the flat-fuck dumbest race on the planet. The rest of the world hates us and I don't blame any of 'em.

As for my super power, it's something I thought about alot, and ultimately I think that the ability to freeze time would be the most powerful ability any being could have, but then if you did freeze time, would you be able to interact with anything? Or would their atoms be frozen in place, making everything (even soft objects and fluid) hard as stone? In which case it would be an altogether useless ability.

So I would have to say that my ability would be acidic jizz. That could burn through walls.

Post by **Segaholic2** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 5:17 pm

Green Gibbon! wrote:So I would have to say that my ability would be acidic jizz. That could burn through walls.

Oh, now <I>that's</I> useful.

Post by **Crazy Penguin** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 5:39 pm

Out of the Sonic cast Ray has the lamest powers. A supposed flying squirrel that doesn't even have those glidey wing flap thingies? Pfft.

To have one super power? Well that's a difficult choice. Super strength and resistance to injury is the obvious one, everyone wants to be able to win every fight they could ever find themselves in, and just look at the amonut of super heroes (and villains) with some form of super strength, we crave power.

Being able to freeze and all around manipulate time is a very useful one, but it could present problems in actual execution as GG! pointed out, and even if you could move things, when you start time up again would they just explode into flames from having moved so much in the smallest fraction of time imaginable?

The ability to fly would be another great one, and just like super strength is an ever popular choice. But this would also present problems with the lack of super strength, and how fast would you be able to fly without having a "super speed" power? But then flying at super speed without super strength or durability would be a great disadvantage to the implementation of the abilities.

In the end I'd have to go with the ability to teleport, kind of like Nightcrawler from X-Men. With numerous teleports in succession you would almost be able to fly in the sense that you could travel through the air way above ground height. Not to mention that you'd be able to get out of almost any kind of trap or setup and you'd save so much time going about your day to day business - you'd practically never be late again, have no use for ladders or bridges and all of that jazz. Yeah, teleporting powers all the way.

Post by **Green Gibbon!** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 5:45 pm

Oh, now that's useful

I just think it'd be cool, is all.

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 5:51 pm

As for my super power, it's something I thought about alot, and ultimately I think that the ability to freeze time would be the most powerful ability any being could have, but then if you did freeze time, would you be able to interact with anything? Or would their atoms be frozen in place, making everything (even soft objects and fluid) hard as stone? In which case it would be an altogether useless ability.

Not to mention that you'd age faster than anyone else due to time stopping for everyone but yourself. So 40 years from now, you'd be 100 years old due to repeated use of your powers. But if you could work around that, it would be pretty cool - even if everything you moved exploded due to super-friction - you'd still essentially have both super-speed and the ability to make shit explode.

I just think it'd be cool, is all.

But you'd kill every woman you ever slept . . . no, never mind. No downside for you.

Ash Holt · Post by **Ash Holt** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 5:59 pm

Light Speed wrote:I think DareDevil is a pretty lame super hero. I forgot who pointed it out, but he is just a blind guy that can see.

Him or Batman.

Batman kicks ass.

He doesn't have any real superpowers, but that shows a lot more in what I've seen of the comics. He's got scars all over his body and shit, and he has dealt with some murderous, evil motherfuckers. It's not like the cartoons that made him look like he had the power to make any goon trying to shoot him crosseyed and he maybe fell off or something every once in a while.

Post by **Crazy Penguin** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 6:10 pm

Daredevil is the shit too.

Post by **Green Gibbon!** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 6:15 pm

But you'd kill every woman you ever slept . . . no, never mind. No downside for you.

Silence, infidel.

In reality, it just means I wouldn't have to call her the next day. Or ever again. It's the ultimate super power.

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 6:19 pm

Bah. I could do that with shapeshifting, too. Hell, I could shapeshift into famous celebrities, sleep with some guy (complete with pictures) and play hell on their reputations. Not only do I not have to call the next day, I've also ruined the life of a complete stranger.

Mwahahahaha.