Does your keyboard smell like poo?

[j-man]

Wash 'em every time, unless it's a Number One and I'm in a hurry. I'll take extra care if I spack out and piss all over my hands or something, but since I spend a generous amount of time with my hands down my pants, I figure things will turn out A-OK if I scrimp on the soap 'n' water now and again.

I admit to having a similar quirk to Silv, except it's mostly when I get home from work, not just from being outside. I'm only a supermarket cashier so my hands never turn out especially filthy, but it's like I can feel...I dunno, like, a thin film of workplace all over them, and I can't relax until they're fresh.

I also hate having sticky hands, like when you eat an orange and the juice gets on your fingers and goes kinda tacky. Hate it, so bad. Like, it would drive me to frantic, Lovecraftian madness if I wasn't near a bathroom or in the immediate vicinity of medicated wipes.

And my keyboard smells like hot plastic. I checked.

[Light Speed]

If I was a cashier I'd wash my hands after every break, handling filthy filthy money all day long, and I'm not even paranoid about germs.

[j-man]

I try my best not to think about it. Sometimes you get money which is literally encrusted with filth. This is usually given by similarly filthy people.

Reminds me of a guy I served the other day. His skin was so caked with unidentifiable dirt that he looked like he'd been caught in an explosion or something. It just really pissed me off. He must never wash. I mean NEVER. How the shit do these people live with themselves?

And then there's the little ponytailed, piss-smelling troll-man that we get shuffling around every so often, doing his weekly "big shop". So, so greasy. Customers have actually complained about him. But then, what the heck are you supposed to say to someone like that? "Mate, you might not realise how disgusting you are, but the world does"? "Here's some soap, figure the rest out yourself"?

[gr4yJ4Y]

I used to work as a cashier and hated the feeling of my hand being covered with a metalic smell. I'd always wash after a shift at that job.

[Wooduck51]

My kidneys tried to kill me once, as a result I now carry a bottle of jellied alcohol around to cleanse my hands with as well as washing them.

[ChaosAngelZero]

I have to lift some metallic window blinds using two heavily rusted chains, so I've got to wash my hands immediately after that every damn day. Also, I can only get some kind of sandwich for lunch, so I'd better have them clean most of the time.

[FlashTHD]

These chains can't be replaced?

[ChaosAngelZero]

... No, my boss is really stingy with that. But I'll make the request, it's getting even dangerous as they could break at any moment and completely destroy the windows and everything that surround them (mostly old monitors and modems).

Oh, I forgot; right now my keyboard doesn't smell like poo, but it does have some pubic hair into it due to a dirty habit you most probably don't know.
You could call it jizzboard.

[Locit]

I don't get it.

[ChaosAngelZero]

Which part, the one of the rusty chains not being changed even if they could potentially ruin the entire place? If it's that one, there're two words that explain everything: Third World.

About the jizzboard, there's no explanation for it whatsoever, it's kind of supernatural... even if I try not to come there, it gets the hair anyway.

[Frieza2000]

For the longest time I never washed my hands unless I got something on them, but in my defense I was never in public. I have an unusually strong bladder and well timed bowel schedule; I can count the number of times I used a public restroom during the first 20 years of my life on two hands. Then I got a full time job and begrudgingly realized that 12 hours of sitting down without relief was beyond even my ability, at least for 5 days in a row. I think I started washing them to be polite and now it's a habit that's followed me home. It doesn't feel really necessary though; all you get on your hands is cock sweat and dead skin, and that's no more dirty than your hands themselves. I used to just brush them off on my pants and feel clean.

[Opa-Opa]

In an amazing record, I went tramping last week and managed to stay 5 days without shitting. I'm really proud of that since I never even felt like going until I found a proper bathroom.

[ChaosAngelZero]

I remember that I once had that same legendary skill of mr. Frieza's, but I kind of lost it over time.

Not that I'm shitting myself all over the place all the time, but I couldn't endure 3 straight days without taking a good dump as I once could. I've turned into a horrible toilet-dependant midget.

Also, I have to sit around for at least 9 hours 6 days per week. It does suck, for sure.

[DackAttac]

If I try to take a "safety piss", i.e., just trying to go for the sake of a lack of a clear-cut opportunity for a good long while, and it produces no success—if the only thing I ever touch in there is my zipper—I still wash. I'm kind of a germophobe like that.

[jenkins]

Pretty much the same story here. I wash my hands even when I don't have a good reason, due to sheer paranoia.

The only times I forget are usually before lunch or some other critical moment like that when I'm actually likely to get something from my hands into my mouth. Figures.

[Oompa Star]

I don't wash my hands that much actually. I only wash after dropping the kids off at the pool, before handling my pets and at work.