The Ugliest Hedgehog

[G.Silver]

Last week we had a "Best Box Art" poll, so since the easiest way to come up with fresh content is to do the opposite of what you did last time, this week we're having an Ugliest Box Art poll. Not only that, but because ripping on lame box art is so much fun, I decided to slap it right here on the front page, with a brief summary of what makes Sonic's worst boxes the worst boxes. We're only including boxes from "major" titles, so compilations and pico/edutainment crap is left out. If you have comments or other nominees or just want to shake your fist in a text-based rage, hop on over to <a href="http://www.theghz.com/forum/">the forum</a> and join the discussion!

<b>Sonic 2 -- US version:</b> I didn't notice until just now that Tails' snout is freakishly long in the Japanese version, but it just doesn't hold a candle to what we have here in the west. Admittedly, this box is probably pretty well-liked (heck, I kinda like it), but seriously, look at it. That purple-to-green wash is pretty hideous, "Dead Eyes Eggman" makes his first appearance, and it's that off-model Sonic that appeared on all the early US boxes, drawn well or not. I actually have a poster I <i>paid</i> for of this image tucked on the wall behind my bedroom door. Why is it still hanging there? What was I thinking??

<b>Sonic Spinball -- Game Gear:</b> Edging out the MegaDrive versions, for the western Game Gear releases they airbrushed out that awful "dividing line" on Sonic's spines but replaced Dead Eyes Eggman with straw-moustache, cone-head Eggman. I guess they were just giving people what they wanted to see. Mean Bean Machine also deserves some credit in the conehead Eggman department.

<b>Sonic 3 -- US & PAL versions:</b> The US version has a lovely background that lacks any of the qualities that we actually associate with Sonic games, Sonic himself has a boring pose except maybe for his "three fingers up" hand, which looks uncomfortable to say the least, and we've got Tails in his classic "ready for anal" pose. Meanwhile on the other side of the Atlantic, they've got a more game-inspired background and a way cooler pose for Sonic, but the colors are not especially eye-catching, and Knuckles is not especially well-drawn. Also, Sonic seems to be holding up three fingers, but he's got a thumb in there too. Does anyone else find this confusing?

<b>Sonic Chaos -- US version:</b> The PAL Master System release of this one is actually quite attractive, though Sonic's arms need a bit of help and it suffers for including those ugly enemies that were in the game anyway, but we'll forgive it. The US version is all like "HAY guys lets br34k sum rox k!!!" Again the Europe version makes a slight improvement with an altered color balance, but it still reeks of that Sonic 2 hazy background wash, and Tails is in "bend over" pose again. It's really bad this time, his tails are "up" instead of in propeller position, and well, come on! In the game, you can plainly see how his weight is distributed, how he is clearly being held up by his posterior--but here it's all like "please take me!" Who draws this crap?

<b>Sonic Triple Trouble -- US release:</b> Fang of course never looks bad, but we've got conehead Eggman again and what's that down in the corner? What happened to you, Knuckles? It looks like you crawled out of the PAL Sonic 3 box! Shake that fist, Knuckles! Shake it text-based style!

<b>Sonic CD -- UK PC version:</b> Ok, what happened here? Let's take the awesome character art shown on the Japanese cover, and then paste it over some random 3D desert scene that has absolutely nothing to do with the game in question. I wasn't planning on including this one, but it boggles the mind in a way that other re-releases and ports don't.

<b>Sonic 3D Blast -- PAL version:</b> The US art (the Saturn version is ok) isn't exactly prizeworthy, but what happened in Europe? I guess maybe they were trying to come up with something like the stylin' Sonic & Knuckles cover, but they ended up with this hidegons instead. Sonic's spines are way off model and the tone of the box is dark and grim. It is undoubtedly one of the ugliest 3D portrayals of Sonic we'll ever see outside of a bad DeviantArt fanpage.

<b>Sonic Adventure DX --</b> Just the way the director wanted it, with nasty pre-rendered gumbies! Seriously, this wouldn't be so bad except it's an absolute mockery of Uekawa's stylish Dreamcast cover. You've got that snazzy background back there, and then prerendered Sonic and Chaos just kinda strewn wherever. This composition is seriously unbalanced and rather painful to look at.

<b>Sonic Gems Collection --</b> Sonic firmly locked into some improbable "punching" pose (seriously, even Sonic's bendy arms have got to follow at least a couple rules!) while Metal Sonic gazes into the lower right corner like a retard. The coloring is sort of dynamic but regardless of whether or not the games contained in this collection are "gems," the box is no treasure chest.

<center><img src="http://www.theghz.com/museum/covers/son2_us.jpg"><img src="http://www.theghz.com/museum/covers/spingg_us.jpg"><img src="http://www.theghz.com/museum/covers/son3_us.jpg"><img src="http://www.theghz.com/museum/covers/son3_uk.jpg"><img src="http://www.theghz.com/museum/covers/s&t_us.jpg"><img src="http://www.theghz.com/museum/covers/s&t2_us.jpg"><img src="http://www.theghz.com/museum/covers/cdpc_uk.jpg"><img src="http://www.theghz.com/museum/covers/3dsat_uk.jpg"><img src="http://www.theghz.com/museum/covers/dx_us.jpg"><img src="http://www.theghz.com/museum/covers/gemsgc_us.jpg"></center>

[Segaholic2]

I'm voting for Europe's Sonic 3D Blast cover. It barely even resembles Sonic. What the hell were they thinking?

[Ngangbius]

Shoot, it's a tie between the PAL versions of the Sonic 3 and Sonic 3D Flicky's Island cover. It's like a double dosage of drawing damnation.

[Tsuyoshi-kun]

Sonic 3D PAL got my vote. Even it wasn't ugly (which it is), it just looks altogether lazy with no real background whatsoever. Second place goes to Sonic 3 PAL, followed by Sonic 2 U.S.

[CM August]

Cone-head Eggman? How dare you mock the mighty mighty Rrrrobotnik!

Sonic 3D's cover fails in almost every way.

[BlazeHedgehog]

Yeah, the UK 3D Blast cover for me. US Sonic artwork was always kind of hideous compared to the Japanese artwork, but the UK 3D Blast cover is perhaps the single worst piece of CGI I've ever, ever seen.

[Omni Hunter]

Sonic 3 Pal all the way. The spikes, background and Knuckles grin/snarl just look worse than butt-ugly.

[James McGeachie]

Sonic 3 US, nothing about it feels like Sonic 3 to me at all and it's extremely dull. I appreciate the PAL one is a bit odd, but at least it's sort of dynamic and remotely visually interesting.

To be honest though there's going to be a lot of somewhat biased votes on this poll, I cant really look at the PAL covers like they're wierd and different like most of the Americans can here and I assume it works the other way around with the US ones.

[Locit]

3D Blast, PAL version. It's not that it's different, it's just terrible. I mean, you can try to come up with something stylish and still have it end up looking like shit. Intention doesn't really soften the blow when a piece of boxart tries to rape your eyes like that one does.

[gr4yJ4Y]

Yeah, 3D Blash PAL for the Fail. The European Sonic 3 is second worse.

I actually liked the Sonic Gems cover for it's more modern character art of Sonic and Metal, even if the composition is poor.

And there's nothing wrong with the US Sonic 3. The backround is clearly a representation of the first level. You have Sonic with his 3 fingers up and Tails present as well. And you have the mysterious eyes of Knuckles hiding in the bushes.

[Brazillian Cara]

After much consideration (it took me 6 seconds, can you believe it?), I decided to vote for Sonic 3 PAL. There's just something wrong with Sonic's face.

[Zarathustra]

Ditto. Also, I think the logo sucks, Knuckles' stupid and Sonic himself looks pretty weird probably for the little off-model draw.
And I think his right index doesn't count for the game's number, G.

Thanks for the fancy new avatar, Pop!

[Ritz]

Are you going to thank him for that avatar in all of your posts?

Anyway, I voted for the PAL Sonic 3D Blast box, but upon reflection, the PAL Sonic 3 might have been the worthier nominee. After staring at it for a while, it seems quite reminiscent of most NES box art, and it's pretty obvious as to why that wouldn't work for a Sonic game.

[Light Speed]

I also voted for the PAL Sonic 3D Blast. Sonic looks too mean for any game much less a game where you have to rescue flickies. That and he is just ugly.

[Fobhunter]

Sonic 3D also gets my vote. Sonic looks like he's gained a few pounds on the US version of Sonic 3.

[Baba O'Reily]

Triple Trouble.

I hate that cover so very much.

[Light Speed]

I've always kind of hated Sonic Chaos, not as much as Sonic 3D, but something about whatever the hell he is standing on bugs the crap out of me.

[Professor Machenstein]

I think we forgot the US Sonic Heroes box art. Sonic has that stupid toothless smile and Knuckles is aligned in front of Sonic, despite Knuckles being smaller than Sonic. Flawed perspection.

[Zeta]

I've always kind of hated Sonic Chaos, not as much as Sonic 3D, but something about whatever the hell he is standing on bugs the crap out of me.

It's a pogo stick item that was the only new thing added to the game, really.

[Light Speed]

That doesn't sway my opinion. I think I actually played that game and used that pogo stick, which really just makes me hate that picture even more.

[Kishi]

Sonic 3 US deserves another mention for the way it took Knuckles, one of the most compelling aspects of this new installment, and threw him into a bush.

[SegaSonic]

Sonic was handled like a toon in the US, look at the boxes with the conehead Robotnik, they wanted to link the games to the cartoons because they thought Sonic was a toon for babies.

Hey, who changed the voices to the 4KIDS crap? was it Naka or SoA?

[Fobhunter]

The only one up there linked to the ABC cartoon was Sonic Spinball, since the bonus games had characters from that show.

[CM August]

Did anybody know of Segaworld Australia? Their marketing line seemed to be a wierd amalgamation of both cartoons. Wierd.



Spinball seemed to have been made while SatAM was still in the conceptual stages, so it doesn't really resemble anything.

[Tsuyoshi-kun]

Sonic 3 US deserves another mention for the way it took Knuckles, one of the most compelling aspects of this new installment, and threw him into a bush.

He was lurking in the shadows as a "mysterious" new character ("mysterious", that is, unless you've never played the game or seen screenshots). I can see the angle Sega of America was at, actually. It's stupid, but I can understand it.

I'm still kind of surprised the Super 32X Chaotix cover isn't on here. That was the laziest box cover ever. Ever.