Here goes nothing...

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jenkins
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Here goes nothing...

Post by jenkins »

"In a mysterious world...

For generations, people have used magic, coexisted with it. Some people were capable of harnessing natural magic and changing it. These people became known as wizards.

People loved the wizards, who would cure diseases and bring prosperity. But some wizards became filled with greed and malice, using their powers only to their own benefit. Some would help people for rewards, while others were more overtly criminal, using their magic to kill or steal from people.

At the height of this time of fear and confusion, one wizard, Jipoto the Old, fused the material and the ethereal by binding the forces of magic into a small stone. Filled with the grandeur of magic, the small rough stone transformed into a beautiful gemstone which poured forth all colors of the rainbow. The weilder of this stone would be able to tap into the very magic which holds the universe together, and posess unimaginable power. Jipoto created this stone to safequard nature's full power from the evil wizards, and was successful--bereft of their former power, the evil wizards were easily toppled.

But fate can be a cruel and unpredictable beast...

The very mobs which destroyed the evil wizards were universal in their destruction. Many good wizards were killed by terrified mobs, and the powers of magic were forgotten.

And then something unexpected happened...

For some years later, after the Fear had passed, a wizard who had survived the carnage chanced upon a small, magical stone. When he touched it, he was flooded with its power, and, seeking a way to posess it, he crafted a staff and set the stone atop it. With that staff, the wizard created six identical magical stones, or Gems, and affixed each to a different item of power. He gave these to his six closest friends. They became known as the Seven Guardians, and passed down, in secret, all the old traditions of magic.

The present day...

The Guardians have estranged themselves from each other. They train their students seperately, and have become more overt about their magic, using it to gain political influence and power. Some of the guardians have taken mysterious control of their disciples, turning them into bizzare monsters. Those who escape this utter destruction at the hands of their former teachers are hunted and often killed. But some still survive, and they watch as the world steadily draws closer to a terrible war...

This is their story."

Fire away. And while you're at it, does anyone know where I can get some Megaman 7, X, X2, or X3 music? Direct rips, of course.

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Gwilym
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Post by Gwilym »

oh god why

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Owen Axel
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Post by Owen Axel »

And that's as good an explanation as any for why GHZ doesn't have a fanfic section.

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Post by jenkins »

Owen Axel wrote:And that's as good an explanation as any for why GHZ doesn't have a fanfic section.
Imbecile! This isn't a fanfic, it's just a game idea! And no, it's not Sonic related, so stop worrying!

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Post by Baba O'Reily »

jenkins wrote:
Owen Axel wrote:And that's as good an explanation as any for why GHZ doesn't have a fanfic section.
Imbecile! This isn't a fanfic, it's just a game idea! And no, it's not Sonic related, so stop worrying!
YOU FOOL! YOU IGNORANT FOOL! YOU KNOW NOT WHAT TERROR YOU BRING UPON YOURSELF buuuuuuuuuuDY.

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James McGeachie
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Post by James McGeachie »

Well I'm certainly not reading that.

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Post by jenkins »

James McGeachie wrote:Well I'm certainly not reading that.
Your loss...

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Zeta
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Post by Zeta »

Alright, someone start kicking ass. Anyone's.

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Re: Here goes nothing...

Post by Baba O'Reily »

Oh, and because I'm such a fickle bastard, and this used to be my hobby...
jenkins wrote:"In a mysterious world...

For generations, people have used magic, coexisted with it. Some people were capable of harnessing natural magic and changing it. These people became known as wizards.
Quick question: If everyone uses magic, what the fuck makes wizards so special?
jenkins wrote: People loved the wizards, who would cure diseases and bring prosperity. But some wizards became filled with greed and malice, using their powers only to their own benefit. Some would help people for rewards, while others were more overtly criminal, using their magic to kill or steal from people.
That's all you can do with magic? Kill and steal? What of raping, pillaging, and abandoning jury duty?
jenkins wrote:At the height of this time of fear and confusion, one wizard, Jipoto the Old,
God bless you, Jipoto the Old! If only you had a more useful title, like Jipoto the Wise or Jipoto the Active Senior Citizen Who Has Not Succumbed to Dementia.
jenkins wrote:fused the material and the ethereal by binding the forces of magic into a small stone. Filled with the grandeur of magic, the small rough stone transformed into a beautiful gemstone which poured forth all colors of the rainbow.
Honestly, that sounds like it would be gaudy and tacky looking.
jenkins wrote: The weilder of this stone would be able to tap into the very magic which holds the universe together, and posess unimaginable power. Jipoto created this stone to safequard nature's full power from the evil wizards, and was successful--bereft of their former power, the evil wizards were easily toppled.
First, you spelled wielder wrong. Second, if you're accessing the very magic that holds the universe together, why don't you get off your lazy ass and take care of the problem itself, as opposed to creating a tool that can be stolen, abused, or lost by your senile ass?
jenkins wrote:But fate can be a cruel and unpredictable beast...
Isn't that a line from a Dio song?
jenkins wrote:The very mobs which destroyed the evil wizards were universal in their destruction.
Good lord. Why not WISH them out of existence? You have the power of the universe at your disposal. Go tear them apart from the inside out simultaneously, because it seems like the flow of time would be included in that whole, 'holding the universe', deus ex machina thing you've got going on. This problem could have been avoided if they'd gone out and massacred the evil wizards without the help of evil mobs.
jenkins wrote:Many good wizards were killed by terrified mobs, and the powers of magic were forgotten.
The mobs were scared? What the fuck did they have to be scared of? They come from another fucking dimension! Or, at least, that's what would make the most sense in this garbled abyss of plot holes and grammatical gymnastics.
jenkins wrote:And then something unexpected happened...
WHAT A TWIST!
jenkins wrote:For some years later, after the Fear had passed,
See, you need to name the event before you try to use it in context. The Fear is a vague idea.
jenkins wrote: a wizard who had survived the carnage chanced upon a small, magical stone.
'A' magical stone. Way better than 'The' magical stone. It allows for more possibilities. He found a Master Command materia!
jenkins wrote:When he touched it, he was flooded with its power, and, seeking a way to posess it, he crafted a staff and set the stone atop it. With that staff, the wizard created six identical magical stones, or Gems, and affixed each to a different item of power.
If this gem is so easily duplicated, maybe it was a bad idea to make in the first place.
jenkins wrote:He gave these to his six closest friends. They became known as the Seven Guardians, and passed down, in secret, all the old traditions of magic.
Thank god that not one, not two, but SIX of his closest friends survived.
jenkins wrote:The present day...

The Guardians have estranged themselves from each other.
Not very close friends.
jenkins wrote:They train their students seperately, and have become more overt about their magic, using it to gain political influence and power. Some of the guardians have taken mysterious control of their disciples, turning them into bizzare monsters.
Well, that doesn't make any fucking sense. "HURR HURR LET ME EXPERIMENT ON A STUDENT THAT HAS SOME CHANCE OF FIGHTING BACK AND DEFEATING ME AS OPPOSED TO AN ORDINARY PERSON WHO HAS NO MAGICAL EXPERIENCE AT ALL."
jenkins wrote:Those who escape this utter destruction at the hands of their former teachers are hunted and often killed. But some still survive, and they watch as the world steadily draws closer to a terrible war...

This is their story."
Their story is quite confusing, if I do say so myself. Most, if not all, of this could have been avoided... had Jipoto not been such a lazy fuck.

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Post by Esrever »

Many ages ago, Magic Light Godly Order Race. Paradise. Harmony. Golden Age. Maybe something about dragons.

But just then, a Lone Traitor. The Age Evil Dark of Army Plauge. Lost Tome of Mystic Cuplet Spell Sword Wand Stone Text. Dark Ages. Dead Unicorn.

Now there is Only One. He must band together race ability unlikely crew of press on challenges battles sacrifice certain death princess spirit magic victory!

This.... is his story. This is every story. Ever.

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Owen Axel
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Post by Owen Axel »

jenkins wrote:
Owen Axel wrote:And that's as good an explanation as any for why GHZ doesn't have a fanfic section.
Imbecile! This isn't a fanfic, it's just a game idea! And no, it's not Sonic related, so stop worrying!
Ridicule is both inevitable and already well in progress, so any scathing rebuttal from me at this point would be redundant.

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Post by Baba O'Reily »

Owen Axel wrote:
jenkins wrote:
Owen Axel wrote:And that's as good an explanation as any for why GHZ doesn't have a fanfic section.
Imbecile! This isn't a fanfic, it's just a game idea! And no, it's not Sonic related, so stop worrying!
Ridicule is both inevitable and already well in progress, so any scathing rebuttal from me at this point would be redundant.
Your scathing rebuttles are appreciated.

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Owen Axel
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Post by Owen Axel »

You're too tough an act to follow Baba O'Reily. That disection of his crummy plot was damned funny.

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Zeta
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Re: Here goes nothing...

Post by Zeta »

Baba O'Reily wrote:Oh, and because I'm such a fickle bastard, and this used to be my hobby...
jenkins wrote:"In a mysterious world...

For generations, people have used magic, coexisted with it. Some people were capable of harnessing natural magic and changing it. These people became known as wizards.
Quick question: If everyone uses magic, what the fuck makes wizards so special?
Good unions!
jenkins wrote: People loved the wizards, who would cure diseases and bring prosperity. But some wizards became filled with greed and malice, using their powers only to their own benefit. Some would help people for rewards, while others were more overtly criminal, using their magic to kill or steal from people.
That's all you can do with magic? Kill and steal? What of raping, pillaging, and abandoning jury duty?
Wait wait, I find it hard to believe that any of the wizards cured disease or brought prosperity. I find it more likely that they would either go on killing sprees or use their magic to get sex. Lots and lots of sex. With DEATH!
jenkins wrote:At the height of this time of fear and confusion, one wizard, Jipoto the Old,
Jipoto sounds like the Pokemon nobody loved.
jenkins wrote:fused the material and the ethereal by binding the forces of magic into a small stone.
That must've been HELL on his kidneys!
Filled with the grandeur of magic, the small rough stone transformed into a beautiful gemstone which poured forth all colors of the rainbow.
GAY PRIDE POWERS ACTIVATE!

jenkins wrote: The weilder of this stone would be able to tap into the very magic which holds the universe together, and posess unimaginable power.
Oh yeah. That's a good idea. Why would a benevolent and supposedly wise wizard create a weapon of unimaginable descruction? I bet he left it in a dungeon somewhere guarded by easily defeated random encounter monsters too, right?
Jipoto created this stone to safequard nature's full power from the evil wizards,
Good idea! This way only ONE evil wizard will be able to terrorize the universe instead of hundreds of minor evil wizards.

Wait, that's not a good idea.
and was successful--bereft of their former power, the evil wizards were easily toppled.
Someone clever would be able to keep power by making everyone continue thinking they still had it. Not to mention the fact that there have been millions of nutty evil dictators who go along eviling without magic.
jenkins wrote:But fate can be a cruel and unpredictable beast...
Criminals are a superstituous and cowardly lot!
jenkins wrote:The very mobs which destroyed the evil wizards were universal in their destruction.
Say, if this Crypto guy had the power to control the universe, why didn't he just use it's power to make it a perfect utopia?
jenkins wrote:Many good wizards were killed by terrified mobs, and the powers of magic were forgotten.
If they didn't have any magic anymore, how did people know they were wizards anyways? Did they go around wearing pointed hats with the word "Wizzard" stitched upon it?
jenkins wrote:And then something unexpected happened...
Let me guess. Evil wizard or monster invades and a plucky young hero has to band together with a group of unlikely and varried allies collected randomly from across the lands to recover the magical stone which fell into the handso f some evil person?

TOTALLY UNEXPECTED!
jenkins wrote:For some years later, after the Fear had passed, a wizard who had survived the carnage chanced upon a small, magical stone.
Wait! The wizards are all dead! There's no more magic! IT GONE. Did he come from the past via a shoddly-casted time travel spell?

Also, how did he just happen about it? Don't tell me the supposedly wise Wizard flushed it down the toilet or tossed it out the window?! He didn't even put a "don't touch" sign on it!? JESUS CHRIST!
jenkins wrote:When he touched it, he was flooded with its power, and, seeking a way to posess it, he crafted a staff and set the stone atop it.
Purely for decorative purposes, I guess.
With that staff, the wizard created six identical magical stones, or Gems, and affixed each to a different item of power.
. . . why does everyone keep on making MacGuffins and plot devices? Why not just create a bunch of atomic bombs and leave them out by the toilets.

I'm sure nobody would abuse that.
jenkins wrote:He gave these to his six closest friends. They became known as the Seven Guardians, and passed down, in secret, all the old traditions of magic.
Oh God. This IS fanfiction about the Chaos Emeralds, isn't it? Is ther an Echidna Wizard sex scene in here?
jenkins wrote:The present day...

The Guardians have estranged themselves from each other.
Morty said something about our Shawn at the last Christmas party and didn't even COMPLIMENT me on my Magical Casserole of Unending Marvels! Let's not invite them over for Gin Rummy anymore!
jenkins wrote:They train their students seperately, and have become more overt about their magic, using it to gain political influence and power. Some of the guardians have taken mysterious control of their disciples, turning them into bizzare monsters.
Oh noes! Bizzare monsters are the WORST kind!

You think people would stop signing up for classes. Unless they were furries, I guess.
jenkins wrote:Those who escape this utter destruction at the hands of their former teachers are hunted and often killed. But some still survive, and they watch as the world steadily draws closer to a terrible war...

This is their story."
Did you just drink a bunch of vodka, barf all over a collection of cheap fantasy novels, and decide to post the results?

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Post by Neo Yi »

Wizards? What happens to witches? DISCRIMINATION!
~Neo

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Post by Segaholic2 »

that shit sucks you fag

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Post by Zeta »

Wizards? What happens to witches? DISCRIMINATION!
~Neo
Equal rites!

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jenkins
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Post by jenkins »

Neo Yi wrote:Wizards? What happens to witches? DISCRIMINATION!
~Neo
I'm just being gender-inspecific. I can't be bothered to write "wizards and witches" every time.

Good comments. They made me laugh.

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Post by Delphine »

what

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Post by Crazy Penguin »

jenkins wrote:
Owen Axel wrote:And that's as good an explanation as any for why GHZ doesn't have a fanfic section.
Imbecile! This isn't a fanfic, it's just a game idea!
I think it would make an awesome game. It'd be like Tetris, but the bricks would be magic crystals and there'd be images of wizards and ogres in the middle of the screen who react to the gameplay with humorously exaggerated facial expressions, including swirls and Xs for eyes.

Between each round would be a bonus game that plays like Breakout with a time limit but the blocks would be evil magic and destroying all of them would reward you with a magic power up and an animation of a cute dragon.

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Post by Baba O'Reily »

jenkins wrote:
Neo Yi wrote:Wizards? What happens to witches? DISCRIMINATION!
~Neo
I'm just being gender-inspecific. I can't be bothered to write "wizards and witches" every time.

Good comments. They made me laugh.
Oh, so I'm here to amuse you? To make you laugh? Am I funny to you?

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Post by Frieza2000 »

This is why I told you to read old topics.

So far, I'd say Esrever's winning.

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Post by Ritz »

This story needs butler monkeys, space vaginas and Silverguns.

Oh, and Shaquille O'Neal.

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Post by Nova »

In a mysterious world...

For generations, some people have used magic, coexisted with it. Those were capable of harnessing natural magic and changing it. These people became known as wizards. Yes, because they where all men, until someone thought it would be funny to spill some sex change pills in the wine…

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Post by Ritz »

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