The GHZ Forum

Sega’s western divisions have officially announced the European and American versions of the eagerly awaited Phantasy Star Universe.

As announced previously, both offline and online modes will be included in the title. The offline version allows players to assume the role of 17 year old cadet Ethan Waber on his quest to rescue his sister from a mysterious alien life form known as THE SEED, who have taken over the planet Ethan’s sister lives on.

The online game allows players to create their own character from a range of races as they team up with fellow players to explore the all three planets in the Grarl solar system.

Yuji Naka is involved with the game, but as with all previous post-DC era Sonic Team titles, he will only be supervising.

"Phantasy Star has a rich history, both as a single-player RPG franchise and as an online multi-player series," commented Scott A. Steinberg, Vice President of Entertainment Marketing, Sega of America. "By fully supporting both gameplay modes in one package, we will be able to provide gamers with a fantasy role-playing experience of unprecedented depth."

Another Sega spokesperson added, "from its roots way back in the late eighties, Phantasy Star has become synonymous with quality RPG adventure. Now developed as both a single-player and an online multi-player game, Phantasy Star Universe delivers RPG fans their greatest adventure yet."

Both the PS2 and PC versions of the game will be released in spring 2006.

More details can be found at Kikizo and Gamerfeed.com.

Did... did they say anything about the boobies?

Please let there be booby editing...

Boobies are worth their weight in gold here, aren't they?

"Here"?

Yes, "here". The GHZ. The Land that God Forgot.

Godforsaken Hell Zone!

Either he forgot it, or he gave it to Satan as a consolation prize after the War between Heaven and Hell.

Either way, I don't think Lucifer was exactly jumpy to take it.

Well, thank goodness it's official now.

God- Tell you what, you can have this...
Satan- What is it?
God- The GHZ, so you know you could be somewhere worse than hell.
Satan- Ugh...thanks...really....

God: But since you can't be in two places at once--even though I can--I'm going to put someone in charge of it for you.

Satan: Oh, well, that's a relief. Just as long as it's not someone like Jared Matte and inhabited by Harry Potter-lookin' assholes who name themselves after delicious buttery snacks and whose mother is considered the last resort of sexual practices, I'm sound as a pound.

God: ...

Satan: ......

God: .........Oh, you're fucked.

*heavenly phone rings*
God- Hellllo?
Satan- I would like to register a complaint.
God- What, is Mephastopholis kicking up a stink again.
Satan- No, everyones refusing to take souls or torture until the GHZ is out of hell.
God- Really, ok, I'll send it to Earth.
*GHX transported to Earth coming to a stop in front of GG and Segaholic2*
GG- Hmmm, what's this?

GG!: Hey, there's a note on it:

"Dear Mr. Matte and Mr. Tsui,

Hi. Satan here. Remember? The Christmas party? Yeah, anyhoo, we got this little project down here a little while ago and I'm afraid it's just not working out. Our demons won't torture or take souls or anything of the like, plus it's beginning to smell a little bit like chestnuts, so we were wondering if you guys can take care of it? It's not that much trouble, really. There's a little research to go with it, some translating from Japanese and Louisianan, but overall, you should enjoy it somewhat. It should help you get over that stupid-ass SCHOOL shit you guys are so obsessed over. I never got that anyway. I mean, college? Pfft.

Anyway, I just figured you guys could take care of this little hiccup for us. If you have any problems...we'll, you're fucked really 'cause there's no way to get in touch with me. That shouldn't be a problem though since you're each slated to join me down here in about 2008 or 2009. I'll see what I can do to get you down here a lot sooner, some apocalypses and meteor showers...Hell, I didn't put New Orleans below sea level for nothing!

Die a horrible, fiery death and may you suffer long from gonorrhea.

All my love,
Satan

P.S.: I've enclosed some hentai to get the ball rolling for you. I know how much that motivates you.

P.P.S.: When you DO get down here, could you by any chance bring a few kegs and some coke? Since Cobain came down here, we've been running out of it like KY at a proctologists' convention. Thanks!"

Segaholic: That Satan. Always trying to pile his shit on us.

GG!: I hate when he does this. It's bad enough we have that Osama fucker down in the basement. He and his friends have been smoking all our weed, and do you know what happened to that bag of Cheetos I bought the other day?

Segaholic: What?

GG!: Well, after downing the entire bag, one of them instinctively shoved the bag up his anus. I've been trying to get that sonofabitch out for a week.

Segaholic: The guy?

GG!: The bag. It's lodged up there pretty tight, too.

Segaholic: Why don't you just kill them? Don't you have a gun in your underwear drawer?

GG!: Well, I don't have the heart, y'kno--how the fuck did you know I had a gun in my underwear drawer?

Segaholic: O_O Uhh...so, how do you suppose we work this "GHZ" thing?

GG!: ¬_¬

Is it just me or has this joke been milked ever so slightly too dry?

Joke: *Is quickly beaten to death*

Is it just me or has this joke been milked ever so slightly too dry?

You've gotta be shitting me. On the forum that THRIVES on driving every joke, topic, and discussion right into the goddamn ground? Hell, no.

What's funny is that now the "that joke was being milked" thing is being milked. Not to mention it was j-man, of all people, that pointed it out!

Oh, ironing.

Isn't that a triple entendre?

I'll milk your point.

And THAT'S a euphemism.

*awaits the metaphors, similes, and idioms*

GAH!

...

*flips through pages of book* That's not a metaphor...it's not even a word.

That was as deep...
...As a really deep thing.

STOP! EVERYONE STOP!


That's better.