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Tabloids Rock

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 1:07 pm
by Dunjohn
PAEDOS TARGET GAMEBOY KIDS

A NEW Gameboy toy is leaving kids prey to cunning paedophiles, the People can reveal.
A chatroom feature on the top-selling Nintendo DS could easily be used by perverts to "groom" victims.
The computer game allows youngsters to strike up conversations with each other similar to those on internet chatrooms.
But unlike the internet, the DS chat facility is unsupervised and leaves NO evidence of users once the gadget is switched off.
This allows perverts to contact children with complete anonymity and no fear of being traced.
Nintendo, which sold 87,000 of the £99 consoles at it's launch weekend last month, warns of the danger in its instruction book.
The guide advises: "Children should be warned about receiving messages from, or communicating with, strangers." John Carr, an expert on internet sex predators, said: "Paedophiles who spend their lives looking for methods to gain contact with children will know about the DS.
"They are very adept at getting children to disclose personal information."
A Nintendo spokesman said: "A warning and detailed privacy information are clearly highlighted in the instruction booklet."

- Phil Nettleton, Irish People April 17th

Ban the things, I say. This fantastic piece of hysteria greeted me in this morning's Irish People (which is really the British People with a different front page, as denoted by the use of pounds in the article and the Gordon Brown lifeboat tax thing printed beside it). Needless to say every perv in Britain and Ireland went straight out and bought a DS.

Gods I hate tabloids. I do have fond memories of that Daily Express (I think) thing a while back: DEATH BY PLAYSTATION, I just had to buy it. Thing is, that article has pretty much no news or information. The journalist saw the chat function on the DS and made up the rest. "Gameboys May Help Kids Save Live Of Parents After Heart Attacks" obviously wasn't grabby enough.[/b]

Re: Tabloids Rock

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 1:10 pm
by Spazz
The guide advises: "Children should be warned about receiving messages from, or communicating with, strangers."
Within 30 ft?

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 1:23 pm
by Green Gibbon!
Is "pedophile" that difficult a word to spell? Or is it just one of those English "we're going to arbitrarily throw this random vowel in here even though it has no function because we're bloody English, so fuck you" things?

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 1:25 pm
by Baba O'Reily
George Washington: And as our final distinction from the British, we will be dropping the vowels out of quite a few words, because there's a shitload of them that we don't need.

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 1:38 pm
by Double-S-
What happened to parents teaching their kids not to talk to strangers?

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 1:44 pm
by Popcorn
Green Gibbon! wrote:Is "pedophile" that difficult a word to spell? Or is it just one of those English "we're going to arbitrarily throw this random vowel in here even though it has no function because we're bloody English, so fuck you" things?
I actually quite like the British spelling of it. I think it looks somehow pleasing, even though it's clearly perverse. Fittingly.

Re: Tabloids Rock

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 2:01 pm
by Dache
Dunjohn wrote: Gods I hate tabloids. I do have fond memories of that Daily Express (I think) thing a while back: DEATH BY PLAYSTATION, [/b]
Image

And the following day...

Image

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 2:16 pm
by Green Gibbon!
I actually quite like the British spelling of it. I think it looks somehow pleasing, even though it's clearly perverse. Fittingly.
Yeah, but you also drive on the wrong side of the road.

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 2:27 pm
by Zeta
I guess these are ninja pedophiles, who can easily disguise themselves as harmless trees or rocks.

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 2:31 pm
by Spazz
They've got ninjas in the UK?

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 2:33 pm
by Locit
Bastards. They've been plauging our easily decieved children for too long! TOO LONG I SAY!

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 2:57 pm
by Koosh Koosh!
In other news, vapour released from keyboards will make children more suggestable.

I WATCH CHRIS MORRSI I LIEK HIM VARY MUCH

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 10:22 am
by Omni Hunter
Green Gibbon! wrote:Is "pedophile" that difficult a word to spell? Or is it just one of those English "we're going to arbitrarily throw this random vowel in here even though it has no function because we're bloody English, so fuck you" things?
Actually the English spelling is closer to the latin word. Still, I have no preference.
On the "Evil games" front, it's suprising that it's only recently that this has cropped up (if a few years is recent). I don't remember Doom and it's sequels being the victim of media abuse when it was on old consoles or the pc.
Besides, most of these games have age restrictions so it either comes down to the cashier or the kid. It's so fucking retarded that newspapers blame the developers of the console or game and not the guy who thought there was no need for an ID check or the kid who thought he/she was so fucking hard that they could use a fake ID.
If they are that young then how do their parents not find out or blame the person who supplied them with gun/car/other.
Baaaa, I see a scapegoat!

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 10:25 am
by Double-S-
Recent?

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 10:29 am
by Omni Hunter
As in "post-Genesis". Sorry for my lack of clarity.

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 11:35 am
by G.Silver
I don't remember Doom and it's sequels being the victim of media abuse when it was on old consoles or the pc.
I saw some program that couldn't have been made much more than a year or two ago with a short bit on video game violence and they were STILL showing footage of Mortal Kombat and Doom (the originals!) as their "primary examples" of video game violence.

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 12:30 pm
by Cypher
Omni Hunter wrote:As in "post-Genesis". Sorry for my lack of clarity.
Wasn't 'Genesis' the first chapter in the Bible?

Well yeah, i guess that anything that happened after that is kinda recent :roll:

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 12:42 pm
by Delphine
Good job on being an idiot.

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 1:11 pm
by Dunjohn
I never knew Americans spelt "paedophile" wrong. Tut tut tut.

Dache: yep, them's the ones. Note the monumental global relevance of the secondary stories. Good stuff.

And wasn't Doom blamed for Columbine? At least in part? Ooh, look, he played games THERE'S THE CONNECTION!!! You'd think they'd blame the murderers now and then.

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 1:16 pm
by Segaholic2
Yes, Doom was mentioned during the aftermath of Columbine.

You British spell everything wrong. "Haha, useless extra vowels!"

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 1:44 pm
by Green Gibbon!
And they use the metric system.

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 1:56 pm
by Light Speed
Which is way better.

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 2:01 pm
by Baba O'Reily
I don't care that your 'paedophile' is closer to the Latin version. Look at this and this!
You fuckers are throwing in vowels just because you can!

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 2:18 pm
by Green Gibbon!
Which is way better.
Except that it isn't.

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 2:26 pm
by Crazy Penguin
How so?