Brain the size of a planet and they can't make a movie

[Zeta]

http://planetmagrathea.com/shortreview.html

http://planetmagrathea.com/longreview1.html

Apparently they forgot to put jokes in the Hitchiker's Guide movie.


Whoopsie. That was, you know - kind of an important aspect of the franchise.

I know! Let's make a Simpsons movie that's an epic adventure/romance/drama!

[Dunjohn]

My but you're posting rather prolifically tonight.

[Delphine]

Well, shit.

[j-man]

OHNOS 1 BAD REVIEW. As opposed to the 20-odd positive ones.

I'm waiting to make my own mind up here. I don't think I can possibly be disappointed.

[Crazy Penguin]

Hitchhiker's Guide always had a strong opening. It was beginnings that Douglas Adams was good at, middles and especially ends being a bit trickier. The dialogue between Arthur and Prosser, which was written for a sketch in a Cambridge Footlights revue in October 1973, is a terrific example of Douglas' clever way with - and love of - language:

"I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them."
"That's the Display Department."
"With a torch."
"The lights had probably gone."
"So had the stairs."
"But you found the plans, didn't you?"
"Oh yes, they were 'on display' in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the leopard.'"

Or, as the movie version has it:

"I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them."
"But you found the plans, didn't you?"

There are, astoundingly, individual phrases and even words that have been removed. For example, in the Vogon poetry scene which, like Prosser's confrontation, is now so short as to be utterly pointless, Arthur’s line "counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor", a brilliantly crafted piece of faux literary critique, has become "counterpoint the underlying metaphor." How is that justified? Did someone try to keep the film under two hours by crossing out some of the long words?

Great chunks of familiar, much-loved and (crucially) funny material has been replaced or dispensed with entirely. Instead of cleverly tricking Prosser into lying down in the mud, Ford simply distracts the workmen with a shopping trolley full of cans of lager which he just happens to have with him. Also, the conversation with the Vogon guard before Arthur and Ford are thrown into the airlock, which was apparently included in an early cut of the film, was nowhere to be seen in the version that I saw (nor do we get, “I really wish I had listened to what my mother told me when I was young.â€￾). Yet, while all this great stuff is absent, room has been found for some real clunkers of new lines. For example, Ford's sincere "How would you react if I told I wasn't from Guildford after all?" - which is actually now quite funny, spoken with a New York accent - is sledgehammered home shortly afterward with Arthur saying: "So you're not from Guildford after all? That would explain the accent." Yes, that was definitely worth losing the ‘wish I’d listened to my mother’ gag for.

Goddamnit. :(

[j-man]

MJ Simpson's complaints about the film add up to about 10 minutes film time. Seriously, don't get downhearted. It's one guy's opinion. A lot of the things he complains about have no doubt partly been exaggerations. You'll never know just how bad or good it is until you see it yourself. I think it's funny that huge masses of people have taken this one guy's review as some sort of omen and started boycotting the movie, and yet the 20+ positive reviews that have come out have just slid off unnoticed like water off a duck's back.

And this is coming from arguably the biggest H2G2 fan on the board. I say arguably, of course, because I knew that Popcorn and Tsui liked the series.

[Esrever]

Who would have thought that a film adaption of a book would have to cut scenes or trim the dialogue?!?

[plasticwingsband]

I am eagerly anticipating it. I think it's cool that Martin Freeman is getting a big role like this.

[Crazy Penguin]

I'll still probably go to see it. This review has reminded me that I need to buy the TV series DVD set though, I bloody loved that.

[Delphine]

I'm definitely going to see it, I'm just setting my hopes a little lower. That way, if the guy is right, I won't want to rip my intenstines out -- and if he's wrong, I'll be even happier to see it than before!

[Omni Hunter]

I am eagerly anticipating it. I think it's cool that Martin Freeman is getting a big role like this.

Although I agree with the anticipation of a guy from "The Office" being in the film, it may turn out a bit dreary like "Sex Lives Of The Potato Men".
That said, Mckenzie Crook's performance of "Pirates Of The Carribean" was top notch.
42!? WTF!?

[Baba O'Reily]

I'm not reading any reviews. I'm just going to see it and form my own opinion.

[Segaholic2]

If only more serious movie-goers were like you.

[j-man]

Many of them are, but not on the Interweb.

[Koosh Koosh!]

MJ Simpson is an idiotic twat. The only reason he's pissed off is because he was helping to write the tie-in book, which subsequently got cancelled for a re-issue of the original novel with a movie poster cover. Thus, his opinions are extremely biased.

[Baba O'Reily]

Ooh. Bias. Fun fun.

[Omni Hunter]

With the amount of crap MJ Simpson comes up with it's more like he's bi-assed. Seriously, the gimp comes up with more shit than any critic should.

[Double-S-]

Bi-assed? So he has 2 asses, which is why he comes up with more shit than any critic should?

I can't tell if that was the joke or a pure coincidence.

[Omni Hunter]

The details are fuzzy but I'd say both.

[j-man]

MJ Simpson is an idiotic twat. The only reason he's pissed off is because he was helping to write the tie-in book, which subsequently got cancelled for a re-issue of the original novel with a movie poster cover.

Agreed. Just to note, though, I bought the "movie tie-in" version of the Guide. It's not just a new cover; almost a third of the book's current thickness is an afterword by Robbie Stamp detailing (really, detailing) the process by which the movie was pitched and eventually greenlit, along with some excellent and very funny interviews by all the cast, some exclusive information from Karey Kirkpatrick about the scriptwriting process, the original call sheet from the "Islington flat" scene, and several excellent colour photographs both on and off camera. I thought it a worthy addition to my collection.

[Koosh Koosh!]

Noted. Despite owning the quintrilogy in one huge volume, and my dad having all 5 books in their respective first printed editions, I may very well pick that up.

[chriscaffee]

Dude, it's a trilogy.

[Delphine]

With five books.

[Koosh Koosh!]

QUINTRILOGY.

[chriscaffee]

The books are described as "a trilogy in five parts", having been described as a trilogy on the release of the third book, and then a "trilogy in four parts" on the release of the fourth book.