Campfire story
Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 4:15 pm
In the summer of my senior year, I was working on my thesis project and decided to spend a few weeks alone at my uncle's cabin in the woods. I'm no big fan of camping, mind - I find forests a bit claustrophic - but I was eager for some quiet time to concentrate on my project.
Anyway, things were going well for the first couple of weeks, but I ran out of firewood faster than I anticipated. Conveniently enough, there was a big fallen tree not far from the cabin. One end of it was obscured behind some thick bushes and debris, which I thought was a little bit peculiar, but whatever, it was there so I started cutting away at the trunk without a second thought.
I brought the cut wood into the cabin and tossed it into the fireplace even though it felt a bit damp. It burned amazingly well, but had a peculiar odor. I assumed it must've been from some weird moss or something and ignored it.
When I burned through the stack and went back to the tree a couple days later, it had actually moved slightly from its original spot. That would've been easy enough to shrug off as the wind, or maybe a gentle slope, but there was also a large puddle of sticky white fluid - like some weird sap had oozed from the trunk. Once again, I ignored it and continued cutting away.
This process continued for another couple of weeks, but with each visit I edged closer and closer to the big clump of debris at the end.
It was the evening of my last night there when I finally cut all the way to the edge. It turns out that the whole time the "trunk" was... your mother's penis.
Anyway, things were going well for the first couple of weeks, but I ran out of firewood faster than I anticipated. Conveniently enough, there was a big fallen tree not far from the cabin. One end of it was obscured behind some thick bushes and debris, which I thought was a little bit peculiar, but whatever, it was there so I started cutting away at the trunk without a second thought.
I brought the cut wood into the cabin and tossed it into the fireplace even though it felt a bit damp. It burned amazingly well, but had a peculiar odor. I assumed it must've been from some weird moss or something and ignored it.
When I burned through the stack and went back to the tree a couple days later, it had actually moved slightly from its original spot. That would've been easy enough to shrug off as the wind, or maybe a gentle slope, but there was also a large puddle of sticky white fluid - like some weird sap had oozed from the trunk. Once again, I ignored it and continued cutting away.
This process continued for another couple of weeks, but with each visit I edged closer and closer to the big clump of debris at the end.
It was the evening of my last night there when I finally cut all the way to the edge. It turns out that the whole time the "trunk" was... your mother's penis.