Campfire story

[Green Gibbon!]

In the summer of my senior year, I was working on my thesis project and decided to spend a few weeks alone at my uncle's cabin in the woods. I'm no big fan of camping, mind - I find forests a bit claustrophic - but I was eager for some quiet time to concentrate on my project.

Anyway, things were going well for the first couple of weeks, but I ran out of firewood faster than I anticipated. Conveniently enough, there was a big fallen tree not far from the cabin. One end of it was obscured behind some thick bushes and debris, which I thought was a little bit peculiar, but whatever, it was there so I started cutting away at the trunk without a second thought.

I brought the cut wood into the cabin and tossed it into the fireplace even though it felt a bit damp. It burned amazingly well, but had a peculiar odor. I assumed it must've been from some weird moss or something and ignored it.

When I burned through the stack and went back to the tree a couple days later, it had actually moved slightly from its original spot. That would've been easy enough to shrug off as the wind, or maybe a gentle slope, but there was also a large puddle of sticky white fluid - like some weird sap had oozed from the trunk. Once again, I ignored it and continued cutting away.

This process continued for another couple of weeks, but with each visit I edged closer and closer to the big clump of debris at the end.


It was the evening of my last night there when I finally cut all the way to the edge. It turns out that the whole time the "trunk" was... your mother's penis.

[Segaholic2]

I don't get it.

[Green Gibbon!]

It's Humour Nouveau. I invented it. It's going to be the next big thing.

(See what I did there? Your mother's penis is going to be the next big thing.)

[j-man]

Reminds me of a similar story. I spent a couple nights in the outdoors a while back with some drinking buddies. Anyways, I got a little waylaid on the way back from a bathroom break, lost my footing, and tumbled down into your gaping vagina. Small world.

[Delphine]

It's funny because he thinks we believe that he can actually chop wood.

[Green Gibbon!]

It's very sad that genius draws only scorn.

[gr4yJ4Y]

I know GG! is better than this, but with the thread name I was kinda expecting something about Candle Jack. Maybe it's jus

[cjmcray]

HUGBEES

[The Doc]

It's like Mad Libs, only not quite as "mad". "Somewhat Peculiar LIbs", maybe.

[Delphine]

I know GG! is better than this, but with the thread name I was kinda expecting something about Candle Jack. Maybe it's jus

GTFO.