In an alternate universe,
Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2004 9:00 am
today is June 31, and tickets to GHZ: The Movie are already sold out worldwide as it becomes the most financially successful motion picture in all of history in a matter of hours. Terror reigns the streets as weeping mothers raise their screaming children in sacrificial attempts to gain entrance to the picture. Soon, theaters lie mostly in shambles from mobs that have overrun and commandeered them in their frenzied passion for the film, displaying it on every screen and trampling one another for seats, climbing over one another when there are no more, and generally mutilating one another as they follow along with the Gibbon disco dance scene.
Masked cultists hoist upon a pointed stick the head of Robert Ebert, who had minutely criticized Camel Spider's decision to shoot every scene from a worm's-eye perspective, for all to see and learn humility.
Numerous special effects awards, many of them created specifically for this event, are given to the movie for the amazing lighting effects on Popcorn's mom's clitoris.
Masked cultists hoist upon a pointed stick the head of Robert Ebert, who had minutely criticized Camel Spider's decision to shoot every scene from a worm's-eye perspective, for all to see and learn humility.
Numerous special effects awards, many of them created specifically for this event, are given to the movie for the amazing lighting effects on Popcorn's mom's clitoris.