My Trip To The Used Video Game Store
Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 10:16 pm
A new place opened up in my town a few weeks ago across from the old drive-in called "Star Video", which sells used VHS tapes, DVDs, and video games, among other odd things. I was intrigued today by the sleezy motel-esque sign by the road, which exclaimed "Games! Games! Games!". I absolutely had to check this out.
So I walk in, and an older fellow by the name of "Max" welcomes me. He asks me if he could help me with anything. So I tell him, "Howdy, Max. Just looking at your game selection here.". He decides to ask me what type of games I'm into. "Well, Max," I said, "I'm a big fan of mostly any game genre." Max says "Well, we have nearly any game you could ever want! Just ask me if you need my assistance!"
I've gotta hand it to old Max here. He has a nice selection of games and movies and he seems like an honest fellow. Reminds you of that ex-hippy uncle you had with white hair, beard, glasses, overalls, old hiking boots. The uncle that went fishing with you on occasion, the uncle that offered you your first smoke, the uncle with the beer breath and busy hands. Anyhoo, I saw a game on the shelf I remember playing as a school boy. To my delight, it was... get ready for it... Wayne's World! THE SUPER NES GAME! In the box, although quite used. I was going to buy this treasure, until I saw the price on the game's faded, beat up box: $39.99. Yes, you heard quite right. $39.99 for a used copy of Wayne's World. Although a terrible game, it holds many nostalgic memories in my heart and I would like to have it in my collection. Not on this day, Star Video. I've got my eBay and pawn shops where I could get this game lightyears lower than your high prices. Nazis.
So I continue to look around. I see many games I remember from my youth, and some I have never seen before. Old Max even had a brand new, still sealed in the box NES with Super Mario Bros., a Game Boy sealed with a packed-in Tetris, a Sega Genesis with Sonic 2. I had a flash back, of all of those Christmas' and birthdays where I got many of these systems. I was tempted to buy the sealed NES, which was in perfect condition and would look stunning atop my junk heap, yes, still in the box. I asked Max how much he would be selling this gem today. He gave me his price: $399.99. How is this just, I asked myself? I understand it's still sealed, near perfect condition, but $399.99?! I could very well buy a few brand new game systems with a few games for that kind of green.
So I said to Max, "Max, why the high price of this mint-in-box NES? I'm sure I could find it much cheaper if I look hard enough." Max responded with his answer. "A sealed NES is pretty rare, and I've seen them go for over $700 on eBay. I've had it probably since 1992, I bought it from a video game collector when I had a pawn shop in Alabama." "Well, Max," I replied, "just out of curiosity, how much did you buy it off of this fellow?" Max responded, "Let's just say it was a fair price." Alright, good enough. You don't want to tell me that you bought it for $30, that's fine. I really wanted the NES, but not from this guy's crooked shop. It seems he is a Sega Saturn buff, as he has one in his little "office" which I saw behind a screen at the desk. I wanted to ask him so badly, why, just why did he own a Sega Saturn? But, I didn't and just continued to look around the place.
He had a nice collection of old Nintendo Power magazines for sale. It looked like every issue up until 1998, with a few holes here and there. But for $7 a piece, I don't think I'll be buying his "Vintage collector Nintendo Power Magazines", as the sign said in blue marker on cheap poster board. Max is one money hungry fellow, it seems. I go over to the Virtual Boy section, God knows why, as it seems he probably had every goddamn Virtual Boy game ever released in America, even though there weren't many. He had a Virtual Boy out for customers to play around with. I had to mess around with it. I hadn't played one since 1996, but then I realized why I hadn't played one in so long: the eye strain. Max walked over to the Virtual Boy section, and asked me if I wanted to buy one. I told him I owned one previously, and wouldn't think of buying the hunk of spit again. He told me he'd make me a deal, since I have "an honest face", he said jokingly. He would let me have it for $89.99. $90 for a damn Virtual Boy. I hated to ask, what was the price before he made me a deal? Guess how much it would cost to those with the smirk of Richard Nixon? $129.99. I asked why the steep price. He told me the Virtual Boy was extremely rare and has always been in high demand. Is that so, Max? I simply walk away from that section and take a look at what else he has to offer.
I see a table with old video game merchandise all over it. There was a few old Pac-Man and Donkey Kong Coleco tabletop games. I had to have the Donkey Kong version, I already own a Pac-Man from way back. Once again, his steep prices keep me away at $200 a pop, due to teh l33t rareness. I go the SNES rack again. I was looking in paticular for Super Sim City, a game I once owned but loaned it to my nephew... but never saw again. Surprisingly, he had three copies, in a much cheaper price than I expected: $14.99. That's good enough for me. They had the box and manual and everything. It was hard to swallow how he could be selling a much worse SNES games $15 more than Super Sim City, but one shouldn't question God's horrible, horrible mistakes in the creation of the human mind. I picked up my copy of Super Sim City, and walked up to the desk, counting my hard earned money. "Super Sim City, great choice. I used to play it on my Mac back in the day. You have any problems, you bring this right back and we'll exchange for another." He handed me my receipt, and I was off into the night-- err, early afternoon. I couldn't wait to get home and play my new copy of Super Sim City!
As I left Star Video, I noticed a trailer directly behind the building, with old Max going out a back door of the shop, and into this trailer's yard. It appears he lives there, with an old pregnant woman hanging clothes out to dry and fourteen kids playing "High Speed Power Wheels Rollover Derby!" in the yard. I am officially in Hicksville. No matter. I have Super Sim City again! I was vey eager to go home and play my new baby. So I arrive at my house. I rush to my "retro room", which is basically the guest room of my house, yet with all of my older systems and other stuff from the past, such as my talking ALF doll, my original Transformers collection, a Breakfast Club poster, among tons of other useless junk from the decade of excess. So I pop the game into my Super NES, start a city, and play all the way from 1900 until 1999. Wow, 99 years. I had the coolest city, a huge ass population of citizens, and 89% of the city said I was doing a good job for once! All was right in MEGACITY. I saved my game, and turned it off to go cook some Ramen noodles. I came back to my SNES, and was ready to play Super Sim City once more and continue my dictatorship over MEGACITY!
But... to my horror, it seemed the game hasn't been saved!! Nothing was saved on the two files. How could this be?! I remember saving, I'm almost sure I saved my game! I tried making another city... it didn't save. IT DIDN'T SAVE!! My God, how could this be happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?! It appeared the save battery was dead! So I return to old Star Video. I was infuriated. I was gonna settle this one, oh yes! So I walk in and explain the situtation. "Well, Max, my game just wouldn't save! The game's save battery has gotta be dead. May I exchange for another copy?" I was shocked and appalled by Max's reply. "Save battery? Uh, your Super NES' memory may need to be cleared out.You've probably got too much stuff saved on it." "My SNES' memory...? What? How could it be my Super NES? The games are saved on the cartridges." I said. Max replied, because Max knows everything in the history of everything. "All the game data is saved to the SNES's memory chip, the games aren't saved into the game."
I couldn't believe it. This guy obviously has no place, at all, to even sell games, much less have any contact around them. I tried to sort this out. "Wait, let me get this straight: the SNES has a memory chip that saves the games to the system, but not in the games?" "It sure does, I'm positive." said Max. "So, in my thirteen years of owning an SNES, I've been wrong all along?! The SNES games are saved to the system and not the cartridge?!" "Yes, I think you should check your system because the games are saved to that, not the cartridges..." Max said. "I'm not going all the way back, across town mind you, to check my 'SNES memory chip' which doesn't exist. Just let me swap this game for another copy you have over there and I'll be on my way." I said.
"Alright, go ahead," said Max. "but there is nothing wrong with that game. You need to check your facts, pal." I was never so pissed off in my life. I wanted to sock this guy. But, I got home, knowing I would never have to see that scruffy mug of his ever, ever again, because what are the chances of two copies of Super Sim City would have dead batteries? The same chance I have in Cindy Crawford's cha-cha. I got home, and put Super Sim City in my SNES. MEGACITY would live on! I got all the way to 1912... the game didn't save. So, does this mean that one day, I will get to play in the magical forest known as Cindy Crawford's cha-cha? The world may never know. It seemed yet another battery was dead, in the same game, yet a different copy. I was absolutly steamed to no end. I returned to the depths of Hell known as Star Video. I was a man on a mission. I felt like John Wayne walking into that shop.
"Hiya Max, let's cut to the chase...", I said. "This is the second copy of the same game with a dead battery. It obviously isn't my SNES, IT HAS NO 'MEMORY CHIP'. Ask anyone who knows anything about anything." Max replied to my statement. "More reason to believe that it is your memory chip." "But there is no memory chip in an SNES. The games are saved to a battery in the cartridge. THEY ARE SAVED TO THE CARTRIDGE, Max. Would you like me to open it and show you this battery you don't believe exists?" I said. "Well, we won't be opening any cartridges here. If you really think that, go over there and get the last copy of Sim City. But it is your battery, man." said Max.
"Whatever.", I thought to myself. I got the last copy, box and all, and left. Went home, put it in my system, and guess what? It didnt save, much like the last two. Oh Jesus, better clear my memory chip. You know, the one that only exists in Patrick Duffy's steamy sex palace. Once again, I take another game back to his store. He had no more copies, which really pissed me off. He offered to let me take my SNES in, and for only $9.99, he'd upgrade my system! Wow! What a deal! I told him I wanted my money back. He refused. He said he could only exchange, no refunds. Pissed was I. So I wasted $15. I had to find another $15 game, for the same system. WHAT? You mean I can't get that copy of Bebe's Kids for NES for the same price? Highway robbery. Oh well. I got a copy of Wheel of Fortune, which thank God has no save battery to begin with, and I return home. The game works, no problems. But here I wasted five hours of my life which is unnecessary. It turns out that the only system he really knows anything about is the Sega Saturn, as it has, correct me if I'm wrong, a "save battery" or "memory chip" built into the system. I guess he thinks that goes for all systems, huh?
So, has anyone ever had a similar experience? Ever deal with jackass clerks at a game store who have no fucking clue what they're doing? Has a back-up battery ever screw up on you and lose 30+ hours on that long RPG? Let's tell our tales of terror.
So I walk in, and an older fellow by the name of "Max" welcomes me. He asks me if he could help me with anything. So I tell him, "Howdy, Max. Just looking at your game selection here.". He decides to ask me what type of games I'm into. "Well, Max," I said, "I'm a big fan of mostly any game genre." Max says "Well, we have nearly any game you could ever want! Just ask me if you need my assistance!"
I've gotta hand it to old Max here. He has a nice selection of games and movies and he seems like an honest fellow. Reminds you of that ex-hippy uncle you had with white hair, beard, glasses, overalls, old hiking boots. The uncle that went fishing with you on occasion, the uncle that offered you your first smoke, the uncle with the beer breath and busy hands. Anyhoo, I saw a game on the shelf I remember playing as a school boy. To my delight, it was... get ready for it... Wayne's World! THE SUPER NES GAME! In the box, although quite used. I was going to buy this treasure, until I saw the price on the game's faded, beat up box: $39.99. Yes, you heard quite right. $39.99 for a used copy of Wayne's World. Although a terrible game, it holds many nostalgic memories in my heart and I would like to have it in my collection. Not on this day, Star Video. I've got my eBay and pawn shops where I could get this game lightyears lower than your high prices. Nazis.
So I continue to look around. I see many games I remember from my youth, and some I have never seen before. Old Max even had a brand new, still sealed in the box NES with Super Mario Bros., a Game Boy sealed with a packed-in Tetris, a Sega Genesis with Sonic 2. I had a flash back, of all of those Christmas' and birthdays where I got many of these systems. I was tempted to buy the sealed NES, which was in perfect condition and would look stunning atop my junk heap, yes, still in the box. I asked Max how much he would be selling this gem today. He gave me his price: $399.99. How is this just, I asked myself? I understand it's still sealed, near perfect condition, but $399.99?! I could very well buy a few brand new game systems with a few games for that kind of green.
So I said to Max, "Max, why the high price of this mint-in-box NES? I'm sure I could find it much cheaper if I look hard enough." Max responded with his answer. "A sealed NES is pretty rare, and I've seen them go for over $700 on eBay. I've had it probably since 1992, I bought it from a video game collector when I had a pawn shop in Alabama." "Well, Max," I replied, "just out of curiosity, how much did you buy it off of this fellow?" Max responded, "Let's just say it was a fair price." Alright, good enough. You don't want to tell me that you bought it for $30, that's fine. I really wanted the NES, but not from this guy's crooked shop. It seems he is a Sega Saturn buff, as he has one in his little "office" which I saw behind a screen at the desk. I wanted to ask him so badly, why, just why did he own a Sega Saturn? But, I didn't and just continued to look around the place.
He had a nice collection of old Nintendo Power magazines for sale. It looked like every issue up until 1998, with a few holes here and there. But for $7 a piece, I don't think I'll be buying his "Vintage collector Nintendo Power Magazines", as the sign said in blue marker on cheap poster board. Max is one money hungry fellow, it seems. I go over to the Virtual Boy section, God knows why, as it seems he probably had every goddamn Virtual Boy game ever released in America, even though there weren't many. He had a Virtual Boy out for customers to play around with. I had to mess around with it. I hadn't played one since 1996, but then I realized why I hadn't played one in so long: the eye strain. Max walked over to the Virtual Boy section, and asked me if I wanted to buy one. I told him I owned one previously, and wouldn't think of buying the hunk of spit again. He told me he'd make me a deal, since I have "an honest face", he said jokingly. He would let me have it for $89.99. $90 for a damn Virtual Boy. I hated to ask, what was the price before he made me a deal? Guess how much it would cost to those with the smirk of Richard Nixon? $129.99. I asked why the steep price. He told me the Virtual Boy was extremely rare and has always been in high demand. Is that so, Max? I simply walk away from that section and take a look at what else he has to offer.
I see a table with old video game merchandise all over it. There was a few old Pac-Man and Donkey Kong Coleco tabletop games. I had to have the Donkey Kong version, I already own a Pac-Man from way back. Once again, his steep prices keep me away at $200 a pop, due to teh l33t rareness. I go the SNES rack again. I was looking in paticular for Super Sim City, a game I once owned but loaned it to my nephew... but never saw again. Surprisingly, he had three copies, in a much cheaper price than I expected: $14.99. That's good enough for me. They had the box and manual and everything. It was hard to swallow how he could be selling a much worse SNES games $15 more than Super Sim City, but one shouldn't question God's horrible, horrible mistakes in the creation of the human mind. I picked up my copy of Super Sim City, and walked up to the desk, counting my hard earned money. "Super Sim City, great choice. I used to play it on my Mac back in the day. You have any problems, you bring this right back and we'll exchange for another." He handed me my receipt, and I was off into the night-- err, early afternoon. I couldn't wait to get home and play my new copy of Super Sim City!
As I left Star Video, I noticed a trailer directly behind the building, with old Max going out a back door of the shop, and into this trailer's yard. It appears he lives there, with an old pregnant woman hanging clothes out to dry and fourteen kids playing "High Speed Power Wheels Rollover Derby!" in the yard. I am officially in Hicksville. No matter. I have Super Sim City again! I was vey eager to go home and play my new baby. So I arrive at my house. I rush to my "retro room", which is basically the guest room of my house, yet with all of my older systems and other stuff from the past, such as my talking ALF doll, my original Transformers collection, a Breakfast Club poster, among tons of other useless junk from the decade of excess. So I pop the game into my Super NES, start a city, and play all the way from 1900 until 1999. Wow, 99 years. I had the coolest city, a huge ass population of citizens, and 89% of the city said I was doing a good job for once! All was right in MEGACITY. I saved my game, and turned it off to go cook some Ramen noodles. I came back to my SNES, and was ready to play Super Sim City once more and continue my dictatorship over MEGACITY!
But... to my horror, it seemed the game hasn't been saved!! Nothing was saved on the two files. How could this be?! I remember saving, I'm almost sure I saved my game! I tried making another city... it didn't save. IT DIDN'T SAVE!! My God, how could this be happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?! It appeared the save battery was dead! So I return to old Star Video. I was infuriated. I was gonna settle this one, oh yes! So I walk in and explain the situtation. "Well, Max, my game just wouldn't save! The game's save battery has gotta be dead. May I exchange for another copy?" I was shocked and appalled by Max's reply. "Save battery? Uh, your Super NES' memory may need to be cleared out.You've probably got too much stuff saved on it." "My SNES' memory...? What? How could it be my Super NES? The games are saved on the cartridges." I said. Max replied, because Max knows everything in the history of everything. "All the game data is saved to the SNES's memory chip, the games aren't saved into the game."
I couldn't believe it. This guy obviously has no place, at all, to even sell games, much less have any contact around them. I tried to sort this out. "Wait, let me get this straight: the SNES has a memory chip that saves the games to the system, but not in the games?" "It sure does, I'm positive." said Max. "So, in my thirteen years of owning an SNES, I've been wrong all along?! The SNES games are saved to the system and not the cartridge?!" "Yes, I think you should check your system because the games are saved to that, not the cartridges..." Max said. "I'm not going all the way back, across town mind you, to check my 'SNES memory chip' which doesn't exist. Just let me swap this game for another copy you have over there and I'll be on my way." I said.
"Alright, go ahead," said Max. "but there is nothing wrong with that game. You need to check your facts, pal." I was never so pissed off in my life. I wanted to sock this guy. But, I got home, knowing I would never have to see that scruffy mug of his ever, ever again, because what are the chances of two copies of Super Sim City would have dead batteries? The same chance I have in Cindy Crawford's cha-cha. I got home, and put Super Sim City in my SNES. MEGACITY would live on! I got all the way to 1912... the game didn't save. So, does this mean that one day, I will get to play in the magical forest known as Cindy Crawford's cha-cha? The world may never know. It seemed yet another battery was dead, in the same game, yet a different copy. I was absolutly steamed to no end. I returned to the depths of Hell known as Star Video. I was a man on a mission. I felt like John Wayne walking into that shop.
"Hiya Max, let's cut to the chase...", I said. "This is the second copy of the same game with a dead battery. It obviously isn't my SNES, IT HAS NO 'MEMORY CHIP'. Ask anyone who knows anything about anything." Max replied to my statement. "More reason to believe that it is your memory chip." "But there is no memory chip in an SNES. The games are saved to a battery in the cartridge. THEY ARE SAVED TO THE CARTRIDGE, Max. Would you like me to open it and show you this battery you don't believe exists?" I said. "Well, we won't be opening any cartridges here. If you really think that, go over there and get the last copy of Sim City. But it is your battery, man." said Max.
"Whatever.", I thought to myself. I got the last copy, box and all, and left. Went home, put it in my system, and guess what? It didnt save, much like the last two. Oh Jesus, better clear my memory chip. You know, the one that only exists in Patrick Duffy's steamy sex palace. Once again, I take another game back to his store. He had no more copies, which really pissed me off. He offered to let me take my SNES in, and for only $9.99, he'd upgrade my system! Wow! What a deal! I told him I wanted my money back. He refused. He said he could only exchange, no refunds. Pissed was I. So I wasted $15. I had to find another $15 game, for the same system. WHAT? You mean I can't get that copy of Bebe's Kids for NES for the same price? Highway robbery. Oh well. I got a copy of Wheel of Fortune, which thank God has no save battery to begin with, and I return home. The game works, no problems. But here I wasted five hours of my life which is unnecessary. It turns out that the only system he really knows anything about is the Sega Saturn, as it has, correct me if I'm wrong, a "save battery" or "memory chip" built into the system. I guess he thinks that goes for all systems, huh?
So, has anyone ever had a similar experience? Ever deal with jackass clerks at a game store who have no fucking clue what they're doing? Has a back-up battery ever screw up on you and lose 30+ hours on that long RPG? Let's tell our tales of terror.
and Sonic R 
I NEED A SATURN!!!