Wee Motion Plus

[Green Gibbon!]

No matter how you shake and dance, the last few drops fall in your pants.


One of the things I find most unnerving about middle-aged Japanese men is that their favorite time to begin a conversation is when you're both in the middle of a piss.

In most public restrooms the urinals are in full view of the entrance, and most don't even have doors so anyone passing by can see you standing to take a piss. The urinal room in the shinkansen has a big window on the door which is how you can tell if it's occupied (there's no lock).

Also, unlike American restrooms, there are no "walls" between the urinals. And the cleaning ladies walk right in. There's no such thing as pee shy in this country, at least not for men. (Now women, on the other hand, are so anal about peeing I understand that many public toilets include speakers that play flushing noises so nobody can hear the occupant tinkle. Supposedly before such things were installed, they flushed constantly wasting a lot of water.)

[G.Silver]

There's no such thing as pee shy in this country, at least not for men.

Maybe there are guys on some Japanese message right now talking about how they can't ever use public restrooms just because of the exact things you mentioned.

But I don't know, Japan cured whatever pee shyness I might have had because I got the impression there that people would go to ridiculous lengths to not let anyone see their doodle. Very early on I walked into a restroom and there were grown men, not just in front of the urinals, but I dare say making love to them. I can't imagine how they got so close without getting some serious skin-to-porcelain. Nearly everyone I saw did this, and it was so silly looking that if I ever even think of being pee shy I just remember those guys and think at least I don't have it that bad.

And the cleaning ladies walk right in

How does this compare with Europe? I have heard that many public restrooms are "pay" restrooms, or at least had donation cups, and they had an attendant on hand to keep them really clean at all times. Am I remembering this story correctly? (On that same note, has anyone else seen "The Pope's Toilet?")

[Green Gibbon!]

Very early on I walked into a restroom and there were grown men, not just in front of the urinals, but I dare say making love to them. I can't imagine how they got so close without getting some serious skin-to-porcelain.

I have noticed that and I've adopted the "urinal love" stance myself, but I was never sure if it was something unique to this country or if it was something everyone was just supposed to do as a matter of courtesy and I never noticed it before because most American restrooms have those little walls between each urinal. I doubt it's pee-shyness so much as courtesy, the same way everyone carries a washcloth over their shit in the bathhouse.

Or it could just be an issue of size. Japanese men might actually have to get that close to make it into the basin.

[Segaholic2]

I've seen guys humping urinals here. It unnerves me because I don't see how you can do that without touching some part of the porcelain, with your knuckles or fingers or hand or doodle or whatever. You'd probably even rub your pants against the urinal. Gross.

[Crisis]

How does this compare with Europe? I have heard that many public restrooms are "pay" restrooms, or at least had donation cups, and they had an attendant on hand to keep them really clean at all times. Am I remembering this story correctly?

A lot of urban areas in the UK do charge you to use the restrooms, but they're only marginally better than the free ones, i.e. still unpleasant. They usually do have attendants, but they're there to make sure that nobody jumps the barrier or does drugs in the cubicles or jerks each other off at the urinal, rather than keeping things clean (although I imagine it is among their list of duties). A piece of advice: once you allow the state to charge you for the right to pee, you will never be allowed take that step back.

To follow up on GG!'s point, don't open this thread when you're in the middle of something important and already feeling a slight urge to pee.

[gr4yJ4Y]

I knew a guy who would go to pee and come back then turn around and re-enter the bathroom a couple minutes later. Maybe he had the same thing you did.

He also only poops once every 3-4 days.

[Ritz]

That... That isn't normal?

[Crisis]

That's about the limit of healthy bowel movements. Less than once every 5 days and you're setting yourself up for haemorrhoids and anal fissures before the age of 30. I used to go only once a week and thought it was normal but now I would advise against it; without wanting to be too graphic, a chronic anal fissure is about as much fun as it sounds.

[Dr. BUGMAN]

Ugh, I've only been "backed up" once in my life. Awful experience; it's like a baby that bawls its guts out no matter how much you attend to it, except you can't drown it out with loud music.

[Delphine]

I've always been told that one should have a bowel movement every 24 hours. I drink a lot of coffee, so this is an easily reachable goal!

[gr4yJ4Y]

I would consider once every day or two to be normal too. I've heard that about 10% of the population doesn't poo every day. Maybe you guys need more fiber.

Also, I drink coffee and caffeine incredibly rarely. If I get a cup of joe, it messes me up about as much as alcohol does (in completely different ways). I once made the mistake of going to Starbucks to work on some stuff for school. I don't remember what size drink I got, but about an hour after I finished my drink I found myself feeling sick and vaguely delusional. So I spent a good amount of time in the bathroom at Quizno's (which was right next door, while the Starbucks bathroom was occupied). I spent so much time in there and left such a foul odor I felt it was only right that I ordered a meal to make up for it (it was around lunch time anyway and my stomach felt empty even if my appetite was gone at that point). The sandwich only fueled the beast in my stomach. The right thing to do was to drink a ton of water to try to get the coffee out of my digestive system, but I wasn't thinking too clearly. From the sub shop I went to my retail job and spent even more time on a toilet which had likely been left uncleaned for the last 4 years. It wasn't until I was home in my comfort zone at the end of the day that it finally stopped.

[gr4yJ4Y]

Maybe we should have a poll to see how often we all poop.

[Protodude]

Sitting down to pee: yay or nay?

[Green Gibbon!]

Why the shit would anyone sit down to pee if they had a choice?

[G.Silver]

Didn't want to turn on the lights? If I just woke up and it's dark the blaring bathroom light is the last thing I want to see, and I've learned not to try aiming in the dark. But that also requires getting over and fears that might go with peeing in the dark. "What if there is a spider on the toilet," "velociraptors hiding behind shower curtain," etc.

[Segaholic2]

I sit down to pee in the middle of the night for the exact same reasons G.Silv just articulated. Feels good man.

[Green Gibbon!]

Oh that's right, American houses use central heating. I forgot about that.