So whats in your game console(s)?

Post by **Delphine** » Wed Aug 18, 2004 10:48 pm

Fuck, now we're talking about Gonterman. I hate you people.

Light Speed · Post by **Light Speed** » Wed Aug 18, 2004 11:09 pm

Why do you even know about these fan fic authors anyway? Does that mean you guys actually put yourself through the hell that is fan fiction?

Post by **Segaholic2** » Wed Aug 18, 2004 11:17 pm

Exactly.

aso · Post by **aso** » Wed Aug 18, 2004 11:18 pm

I always presumed these guys had some sort of infamy that preceded them. Especially Gonterman.

Post by **Segaholic2** » Wed Aug 18, 2004 11:20 pm

Dude, it's not like the Goatse guy, where it's completely unavoidable at some point in your life if you use the internet at all. I've never heard of these fanfic authors you guys talk about. And I'm thankful for that.

Post by **Delphine** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 12:01 am

Gonterman is a fandom legend, dude. Forever will he go down in infamy as the worst Sonic fanfic writer/comicist ever.

CE · Post by CE » Thu Aug 19, 2004 12:52 am

You've never heard of Gonterman? Oh boy, do you have some catching up to do.

I sugest you start here, and make sure to read Blood and Metal and American Kitsune, and look at at least one of his comics. Then look at the current site here and see how much Davey-kins has improved over the past five years or so. (Hint: He hasn't improved at all.)

Post by **Delphine** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 12:53 am

I suggest you don't start ANYWHERE because you're better off NOT KNOWING.

CE · Post by CE » Thu Aug 19, 2004 1:08 am

Come on, how can you resist such wonderful prose as:

Whoops, the spirit muttered to herself, I must've been a bit too eager and willed a physical form to appear. It was a see-through ghost-like apparition glowing from within by the now visible Spark that every planeswalker has in their being, the source of each planeswalker's nature, making for a rather eerie presence. Normal spirits would require a great effor in concentration and practice in order to show such a physical presence that the living can actually see and hear, but to a planeswalker, it's not a difficult effort at all.

Or how about

SAINT LOUIS: Six Power Rangers, three VR Troopers, and the Masked Rider joined three members of the Youth United Nations and a local St. Louisan who appears to be their leader, while in between two ethnic factions who were just about to riot in front of the Americas Center. The St. Louisan is identified as David Kintobor, the one who shot and killed the Piasa Monster just 12 hours ago.

Gonterman's works are pure gold.

Ngangbius · Post by **Ngangbius** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 9:25 am

Delphine wrote:Gonterman is a fandom legend, dude. Forever will he go down in infamy as the worst Sonic fanfic writer/comicist ever.

Not to mention the worst Sailor Moon fanfic writer/comic artist.

"You wanted to know how I became this American Kitsune
critter, and I promised to tell you as soon as we got some free
time."

"Oh, yeah! I *was* wondering . . . [Davey motioned Serena
to follow him] . . . Where to?"

Over by this here pile of sticks I gathered up. People
around here say it's tradition. Me, I just believe that this
story makes great campfire material. . ."

David easily got the fire going in time for him to begin.
As usual, he brought up his palmtop holographic projector to do a
modern-day version of an ancient Indian shaman trick.

"I guess it all began with my very first shift with the
Rangers. I wasn't one of the flashy karate black belts in
spandex like the ones you'd see on TV. I'm a goon, I admit it.
My fighting ability only consists of brawling and a small arsenal
of guns. But I was just the man that Zordon needed to defeat
this dragon-like critter known as The Piasa Bird, saving Saint
Louis."

"Wow, I bet you were a hero!"

David sadly hung his head.

Serena noticed. "You-You weren't?"

"What happened next could very well be a death knell for
interracial relations in my city, and may even call the end of
Martin Luther King's dream of peace and harmony between whites
and blacks: An African-American ethnic history teacher saw the
hero as only a White Male Christian With A German Last Name . . .
and immediately open fire on me with cop-killing Black Talon
bullets."

"Oh, my . . . sweet . . . God. No." Shivering eyes were
producing more of Serena's eye water.

"Humph. Looks like blacks *can* hate after all. <sigh> By
the time I was allowed to be taken to the hospital, I already
lost my original left arm, my dignity, some may even say my
humanity, and was just about to lose my life, as much as I cared
at that particular time. Imagine my surprise when I woke up--the
last thing on my mind then--with this metal left arm, a
multimedia computer that'll put Pentium super-computers to shame
wired directly into my head, and invited to go on a one-way trip
to another planet with the promise that I'll be the good guy for
once against their evil oppressors. You've probably heard of it.
The planet's name was Mobius."

"Mobius?!" Serena's eyes lit up. "That's the planet Sonic
the Hedgehog's at, ain't it? I can't believe it! I'm sitting
with an actual Freedom Fighter here! . . . [long pause] Wait a
minute. Wouldn't you look like Robotnik with that arm and eyes
of yours?"

"Heck yeah. But they don't care. They figured, since their
bad guys have a Mecha Sonic, then they should have a rebel
Robotnik. But I *should* look like that putz, anyway. Doctor
Ivo Robotnik betrayed and murdered my father, Julian Kintobor in
the exact same manner that Darth Vader betrayed and murdered Luke
Skywalker's dad. I'll give you 30 seconds to let that sink in."

--from Sailor Moon:American Kitsune

We should be thankful he never got into Neon Genesis Evangelion. God, how messed up would that be?

j-man · Post by **j-man** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 11:49 am

I wrote a fanfic once. I was young and foolish.

Well, I still haven't finished it (3 years on), and it ain't half bad. Double B in GCSE English, baby. I can make that shit work.

I feel ashamed for working the aforementioned shit in the first place, though.

Light Speed · Post by **Light Speed** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 12:35 pm

I haven't heard of any of the authors you guys mentioned either. The only fan fics I've ever read were ones that I had on my pathetic little Sonic fansite back in 9th grade. Also I didn't read the quoted material either.

Chaos Control · Post by **Chaos Control** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 12:51 pm

In my Genesis, I've got Sonic & Knuckles.

In my GBA, I've got Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga (it's a great game).

Post by **Delphine** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 1:07 pm

Ngangbius: BANNED

Segata · Post by **Segata** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 1:43 pm

I wrote a really short Dragon Ball Z fanfic when I was maybe 9. Glad I stopped there.

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 1:51 pm

Oh man - has anyone heard of Ratliff? THE Stephen Ratliff?

He wrote serious Star Trek fanfiction in which a ten-year old girl becomes captain of a Star Ship. And princess. And president. And defeats and entire alien race all by using strawberry juice-filled waterballoons. And sings Disney songs from movies that would be over 1,000 years old in her time. And is absolutely fucking perfect in every way till you just want to STRANGLE her.

*coughs*

Anyways, if someone here is not familiar with what the term "Mary-Sue" means - read Ratliff's fanficiton. On second thought, don't.

Dache · Post by **Dache** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 2:34 pm

I wrote a Last Blade fanfic for my English coursework. Like, part of the qualification. I got the maximum marks possible. It is, without doubt, the nerdiest thing I've ever done.