You can have your Sonic - And eat him?

plasticwingsband · Post by **plasticwingsband** » Thu Aug 12, 2004 11:20 pm

J.C.14 wrote: I bet the new one will suck...I love you...no...not really...Okay, FINE JILL, I DON'T NEED YOU!!!...WELL GOOD!!!...FUCK YOU...YOU TOO!!!...

I love you...

J.C.14 · Post by **J.C.14** » Thu Aug 12, 2004 11:29 pm

plasticwingsband wrote:
J.C.14 wrote: I bet the new one will suck...I love you...no...not really...Okay, FINE JILL, I DON'T NEED YOU!!!...WELL GOOD!!!...FUCK YOU...YOU TOO!!!...

I love you...

It's my split personality, Two other people live inside me, Jill the lesbian and Delphine's bright side

j-man · Post by **j-man** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 7:16 am

Is that worthy of a *zing!*?

On a related note, does anyone else think it's fucked up that the Wonka candy company doesn't actually make chocolate? You know - "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and all.

They make the shitty Nerds and Dweebs and things, but they also make chocolate over here - Wonka Xploder bars. Not sure whether it's Wonka as a subsidiary of NestlÃƒÂ© or something, but still, it's chocolate with Pop Rocks in and it's awesome.

And Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka will be sweet (omglol pun). He'll be all staggering around like he's got a head full of acid and everything'll be all dark and gothic and twisted and stuff - like a hilarious mix of The Nightmare Before Christmas and Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas.

I'm saving my money already.

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 12:13 pm

It's already a pretty dark and twisted story to begin with. Essentially - 5 kids go into a chocolate factory full of midgets. 4 get tortured and mangled, and one gets the factory.

We have a child near-drowned and boiled.
Another gets dangerously obese and has her skin mutated.
Another one gets fried in a furnace.
And finally, we have one being put onto a rack and stretched out.

So - yeah. Creepy as hell.

Post by **Green Gibbon!** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 12:35 pm

Wait, they're doing a remake?

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 12:53 pm

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0367594/

Really, you couldn't have a more uneccesary remake. It's almost akin to remaking the Wizard of Oz.

Ngangbius · Post by **Ngangbius** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 1:47 pm

Not so sure about that. Heard that Roald Dahl hated how the original movie turned out. Given Tim Burton's track record he could do the movie more justice than Mel Stuart. Also, Johnny Depp is awesome.

Besides, aren't you a bit curious on how Tim Burton will handle the infamous Ferry Scene?

plasticwingsband · Post by **plasticwingsband** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 2:14 pm

Meh, I like Gene Wilder more than Johnny Depp.

Mel Brooks' The Producers > Lots of Things

Grant · Post by **Grant** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 5:05 pm

So, it is a remake?

Huh. I was always under the assumption it was going to be a sequel of sorts. Wasn't there more than one "Chocolate Factory" book written or am I mistaken?

smiths32 · Post by **smiths32** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 5:07 pm

Yes, It was called "Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator," no movie was ever made on that though

Grant · Post by **Grant** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 5:10 pm

Aha! That's what I was thinking this was based off of.

j-man · Post by **j-man** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 5:26 pm

That book was a trip. They all go into space and fight these aliens that look like upside down eggs with red eyes, then his grandparents drink this stuff to make them younger and one of his grandmothers has too much and becomes a minus person...it's fucked up. And to think kids read this stuff.

Spazz · Post by **Spazz** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 5:31 pm

We had to read that when I was in 4th grade. Yeah, really messed up. Then we had to write a story about what happened <i>after</i> that book, crazy...

Post by **Segaholic2** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 8:41 pm

That's easy.

Charlie's grandparents have lots of hot orgy sex and make Charlie some uncles and aunts.

J.C.14 · Post by **J.C.14** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 10:35 pm

Ngangbius wrote:Not so sure about that. Heard that Roald Dahl hated how the original movie turned out. Given Tim Burton's track record he could do the movie more justice than Mel Stuart. Also, Johnny Depp is awesome.

Besides, aren't you a bit curious on how Tim Burton will handle the infamous Ferry Scene?

Yeah, the book was a comedy thing, The movie concentrated more about scaring children into being good, The reason I'll hate a remake is because it will piss me off

1. New movies concentrate more on the before-story, meaning we'll be treated to half the show about Charlie before he entered the factory.

2. It will be modernized, The oompa loompa will probably be computerized, they'll be green screens.

3. I don't really wanna see tiny, tube-plugging, purple tinted, furnaced children again.

j-man wrote:That book was a trip. They all go into space and fight these aliens that look like upside down eggs with red eyes, then his grandparents drink this stuff to make them younger and one of his grandmothers has too much and becomes a minus person...it's fucked up. And to think kids read this stuff.

Yeah, I read that book, other books by that author are like that, all weird and non-sensical,

Light Speed · Post by **Light Speed** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 11:30 pm

So that book is real? I remember reading it way back in elementary school, but I couldn't remember what it was about. I also remember a book about going into space and fighting these egg aliens that changed shape to spell things or something. I guess they were the same book. That would make a fucked up movie, it had absolutely nothing to do with anything.

J.C.14 · Post by **J.C.14** » Sat Aug 14, 2004 5:21 am

Segaholic2 wrote:That's easy.

Charlie's grandparents have lots of hot orgy sex and make Charlie some uncles and aunts.

grammar mistake

Charlie's grandparents have lots of hot dry sex and make Charlie some uncles and aunts[/b]

j-man · Post by **j-man** » Sat Aug 14, 2004 5:53 am

Yeah, I read that book, other books by that author are like that, all weird and non-sensical,

Fuck you. Roald Dahl was one of the greatest children's authors ever. I should know, he lived 10 miles from me and I have a fucking museum of his work in my town, and yes I've read all his books. I agree some were weird, but they were far from non-sensical. Pretty much every one had at least one good moral value slipped in there.

Great Glass Elevator may have been a trip, but it wasn't bad, and his other books were far from it. I fail to see how Danny, Champion Of The World for example, a story about a boy and his dad finding new ways to poach pheasants, is in any way abstract.

The BFG owns you.

Post by **Segaholic2** » Sat Aug 14, 2004 10:52 am

Yeah, I love Roald Dahl.

One of my other favorite books as a kid was Alice in Wonderland, and Through the Looking Glass. I dunno. I always liked those bizarre tales.

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Sat Aug 14, 2004 2:42 pm

The Phantom Tollboth also rocks. It's one of the last few fantasy books written in the style of Carrol, Baum, and Dahl.

And the Great Glass Elevator was cool, if a little . . . odd. Not because of the plot, but because it was essentially two smaller stories (The space adventure, and then the anti-aging pills) mixed into one.

But hey, any book in which an insane candy-maker travels into space with 4 old people and a little kid to free a space station from an alien invasion is good in my book.

By the way - the blobby aliens? Vermicious Knids.

I hope the Oompa Loompas are done closer to the book. They're supposed to be minature cavemen, and not . . . orange midgets. Creepy.

If Dahl thinks that the movie adaptation of the Chocolate Factory was bad, let's be glad he died before he could see how Disney handled James and the Giant Peach.

Skeleton pirates. What the fuck?!

J.C.14 · Post by **J.C.14** » Sun Aug 15, 2004 3:14 am

Zeta wrote: By the way - the blobby aliens? Vermicious Knids.

I read that book and I don't know how to pronounce it, I just can't

J.E.Smith · Post by **J.E.Smith** » Sun Aug 15, 2004 8:32 am

J.C.14 wrote: I read that book and I don't know how to pronounce it, I just can't

Well I just use the pronouncation they used in the movie(The name is used twice, when Wonka is explaining the Oompa Loompa's origins, he mentioned the Knids among the dangerous creatures they had to avoid, and Joe uses it when they board the boat)

Post by **Segaholic2** » Sun Aug 15, 2004 9:50 am

The pronunciation is explained in the freaking book. It's "k'nid". Like "kuh-nid", sorta.

Post by **Delphine** » Sun Aug 15, 2004 3:08 pm

Reading for comprehension? Wuzzat?