Heathcliff?

Post by **Delphine** » Fri Oct 29, 2004 10:12 am

j-man wrote:Since we're in a literal dick-measuring contest, I'm actually 7 to 7.5. Yes, inches. And no, I'm not joking. Obviously there's no way to tell unless you all came over here with a ruler, but I wouldn't be making that shit up.

You could always take a picture and show everyone.

j-man wrote:By the way, my girlfriend's a 36E. Yosh!

JESUS, how does she stay standing?

The Doc · Post by **The Doc** » Fri Oct 29, 2004 12:01 pm

I can answer that. I have tits, too.

Yeah, yeah, big boobs, small dick...no, I'm not a transsexual.

plasticwingsband · Post by **plasticwingsband** » Fri Oct 29, 2004 4:41 pm

The Doc wrote:no, I'm not a transsexual.

That's what they all say.

Post by **Crazy Penguin** » Fri Oct 29, 2004 5:01 pm

j-man wrote:Since we're in a literal dick-measuring contest, I'm actually 7 to 7.5. Yes, inches. And no, I'm not joking. Obviously there's no way to tell unless you all came over here with a ruler, but I wouldn't be making that shit up.

Dude, you're looking at the wrong side of the ruler, that's centimetres.

Baba O'Reily · Post by **Baba O'Reily** » Fri Oct 29, 2004 6:00 pm

j-man, your girlfriend's either going to end up with back problems or knee problems.
And how'd we get into a dick measuring contest?

Spazz · Post by **Spazz** » Fri Oct 29, 2004 6:12 pm

Baba O'Reily wrote:And how'd we get into a dick measuring contest?

The Doc wrote:I never had friends. And I have a small penis.

Yeah, life is fuckin' grand.

Baba O'Reily · Post by **Baba O'Reily** » Fri Oct 29, 2004 7:30 pm

Thank you, Spazz.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I must blare Crazy Train throughout the house.

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Fri Oct 29, 2004 9:18 pm

On another note, I'm glad we found out why J-man and his girlfriend patched up their relationship so quickly.

Post by **Squirrelknight** » Fri Oct 29, 2004 9:31 pm

I find it amusing that the two currently most active threads on this board are about penises and boobies.

I mean, I find it amusing, but not totally unsurprising.

j-man · Post by **j-man** » Sat Oct 30, 2004 5:43 pm

On another note, I'm glad we found out why J-man and his girlfriend patched up their relationship so quickly.

Oh no, it was a whole lot of talking, thinking, time apart, showing I cared with romantic gestures, compromise, and whatnot, but I'm sure the sex also helped.

I would take a picture for Del, but to what nefarious ends she'd use it for are unknown even to Beelzebub himself.

And Lee...jealousy isn't anything to be ashamed of, mate. ;)

Post by **Delphine** » Sat Oct 30, 2004 6:02 pm

j-man wrote:I would take a picture for Del, but to what nefarious ends she'd use it for are unknown even to Beelzebub himself.

<strike>Wanking.</strike>I don't know what you're talking about, j-man.

j-man · Post by **j-man** » Sat Oct 30, 2004 6:11 pm

OHNOS TAHT MEANS U HAEV A PENSI.

Post by **Segaholic2** » Sat Oct 30, 2004 6:11 pm

Geez, why doesn't he just chop it off and mail it to you so you can have a new dildo.

j-man · Post by **j-man** » Sat Oct 30, 2004 6:14 pm

No way. I'd have to give it a crazy name like SUPER D-LUX 12" PLEASURATRON 4000.

And he's already called Melvin.

Post by **Delphine** » Sat Oct 30, 2004 6:19 pm

Women have the clitoris, which kinda works like an itty bitty penis, without ejaculating -- that comes from the vagina. But it gets hard when you're aroused, it's just a lot harder to notice. And harder to play with. :\ But easier to fit into one's mouth! :D

j-man · Post by **j-man** » Sat Oct 30, 2004 6:47 pm

Yes, I know. Girlfriend, remember?

Well...girlfriends. I've been around a little.

The Doc · Post by **The Doc** » Sat Oct 30, 2004 6:54 pm

You would know.

j-man · Post by **j-man** » Sat Oct 30, 2004 7:07 pm

Fuck yeah I would. For all the complaining I've ever done about my lack of relationships, I guess I'm actually pretty experienced. Sure, I haven't been with many girls, but the girls I have been with I've been pretty far with, you could say. Usually in one night, too. I was a fast worker in my youth.

I've always been one for relationships, though. I'm not into the whole "spontaneous making out at parties" thing... it's too impersonal. If I'm going to have sex with someone I want to be able to lay with them, joke around and talk about shared interests and things afterward, otherwise there's no point in even snapping on the johnny in the first place.

The Doc · Post by **The Doc** » Sun Oct 31, 2004 4:33 pm

No, no...I was talking about a clitoris being easier to put in than a penis.

Grant · Post by **Grant** » Sun Oct 31, 2004 4:57 pm

Gonna need some help gettin' the egg off of your face, J?

j-man · Post by **j-man** » Tue Nov 02, 2004 10:35 am

Oh no, I knew what he meant, though I did go off at a bit of a tangent it seems.

Slightly confused as to the egg/face removal comment, but nevermind, eh.