Turkey and a randy Irishman.

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Ritz
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Turkey and a randy Irishman.

Post by Ritz »

I had the best Thanksgiving ever.

I was eating at my mom's friend's house, right? Well, her friend had this Irish boyfriend. I swear, he's the nicest guy you'd ever meet. Anyway, once my mom and her friend and her friend's friend leave the room, he starts talking about how smart I am and stuff.

And then he starts bringing up politics.

So, I sit there pretending to read this magazine on International Affairs while he rants on about political shit and the like.

And he offers me a drink several times. Normally, I wouldn't refuse, but I wasn't willing to take the risk with my mom around. And then he asks me if I want some Pepsi. I refuse, but he pours me a cup anyway. This gesture struck me as odd, so I cautiously sniffed it. He hurriedly exclaims that he "Thinks it's some sort of Vanilla Pepsi". After letting it sit for a while, you could see the alcohol separating itself from the Pepsi. I didn't mind, but I was still freaked out by the fact that he tried to drug me, Especially since prior to that moment, he was talking to me and my mom about his hijinks back on his Irish farm as a boy with 13 other brothers and sisters. Especially since these hijinks involved a tree.

And it gets better; everyone was too drunk to drive us home, so we had to spend the night. Oh, and he mentioned that he was bi, so I was seriously starting to get worried. I'd have slept with one eye open, but the turkey was starting to have it's way with me, so I conked out.

Thankful that my rectum was still intact, we left with a bag of leftovers, among which included brownies and apple pie, both of which everyone conveniently forgot to tell me about. While me, my mom and her friend are driving home, my mom tells her friend that her boyfriend was making sexual advances towards her. 'Innuendos', she called it. Anyway, her friend flips out and calls him. By now, my mom is pretty worried that she'd be an asshole for telling her, but she's too good of a friend to let something like that go unnoticed.

So now, the entire time we're driving home, she's screaming "EMMIT YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE TRYING TO GET SOME IN OUR OWN HOUSE YOU DIRTY CUNTLAPPER ARE YOU TRYING TO HURT ME WELL GO AHEAD SHOOT ME STAB ME I WANT YOU OUT OF MY HOUSE I'M GONNA CUT IT OFF" while speeding through a turnpike at 80 mph.

Once we get to the house, my mom elaborates on these 'innuendos'. That is, she tells me about how the guy came into the kitchen completely naked. If I were awake at the time, I would've put his schlong in a pretzel knot. Fortunately, this wasn't the case. Naturally, she turned him down - She even threatened to set it aflame with her lighter, in fact.

Oh, and another twist; according to my mom, the guy was just mad because her friend never told him about how she had AIDS and all. So yeah, how was your Thanksgiving?

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Senbei
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Post by Senbei »

I saw the new Harry Potter movie.
You win.

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Ritz
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Post by Ritz »

Actually, my mom had dragged me to see Harry Potter earlier that day.

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Post by SDHawk »

I ate turkey and then played Dragon Quest 8 all day. It was good.

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Post by firemario1001 »

I had to read a book on Irish contribution to history for college. It's hard to imagine that these are the people who ended up saving western civilization learning from barbarians.

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Post by Baba O'Reily »

Uh... I bought a used copy of Jade Empire and played that for 2 hours, then I went to sleep, woke up, sat through an incredibly awkward rendition of grace with my agnostic sister, ate some turkey and apple pie, watched an uninteresting game of football, then the Apprentice, then went to sleep.

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Post by Neo Yi »

I just had Thanksgiving with my parents and little sis and like the entire Yi Clan that lives in America inside my rich cousins' nice ass house. Oh, and I also went online and stuff.
~Neo

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Post by Brazillian Cara »

We don't have Thanksgiving in Brazil, but my Gamecube got fixed yesterday. I guess I should be thankful for not having to spend $100 because of a lightning storm.

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Post by j-man »

I met a girl who I'd seen on the bus, we hung out, went shopping, got some coffee and even had a first date kiss. She wants to see me on Monday too. <3 Best day ever.

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Post by Zeta »

So you think he just wanted to knock you out so he could bang your Mom, or was he trying to give HIV to a whole family at once?

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Ritz
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Post by Ritz »

The former, I hope.

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Post by The T »

You really should go back and ask him.

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Post by Nova »

Brazillian Cara wrote:We don't have Thanksgiving in Brazil, but my Gamecube got fixed yesterday. I guess I should be thankful for not having to spend $100 because of a lightning storm.
Lucky dude, lets see, I had Diarrhea( diarrea) and lost one pound, besides having a great pain in the ass.

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Dunjohn
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Post by Dunjohn »

I fended off a horde of barbarians with my copy of the Book of Kells. Haven't seen Potter yet.

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Post by Omni Hunter »

I had to put up with my ex at work. Woot, lifestyles of the mundane^^.

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Grant
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Post by Grant »

I once had the opposite approach: I tried to impress a girl by sleeping with her mom. I didn't get the girl, but I gave her a sister to remember me by.

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Post by chriscaffee »

My Xbox's Thompson finally decided to quit pussy-footing it. Instead of just selectively failing to load maps from Halo 2 it flat out refused to read anything. So I had to buy another Xbox, of 2005 manufacture.

To make up for that I did get to see Commando three times. You know he's special forces when he smells the bad guys coming and ends up killing a grand total of seventy-nine baddies.

Some of the best written dialouge I ever heard.

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Post by Light Speed »

I had to help move boxes and furniture into my parents new house the entire weekend, we didn't even have Thanksgiving at home cause all the dishes and shit were in boxes. We went out to some restaurant, oh and in retrospect steak is way better than turkey so I don't mind too much. However I think I would have preferred staying at my house and thus avoiding helping my parents move at all.

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Post by HyperFox »

I watched the entire launch of the 360. Yay me. -_-

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Post by VGJustice »

um.... I moved furniture. Then, I ate food. Then, I played Guild Wars and went to bed early so that I could get to work on time.

Needless to say, there is something to be said for not having a life sometimes =/

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Post by plasticwingsband »

Thanksgiving was pretty standard. Went with my dad & little brothers to my grandparents house.

Friday, however, was pretty crazy. I woke up at 4 AM to go to work for 9 hours. It was my first Black Friday in retail, and it's not something I'm likely to ever forget.

Then that evening I visited with this gorgeous chick who was visiting her parents for the holiday. We ate mexican food in the top of a Carl's Jr. playplace, shopped around at the ninety-nine cent store, made some donuts with my new car on the lawn of our old middle school, and snuck into the new high school to walk around and smoke cloves.

All in all it was a good Black Friday.

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Post by plasticwingsband »

p.s. she has an amazing ASS btw

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Post by Senbei »

plasticwingsband wrote:Black Friday in retail
EVIL.
I'm just glad I wasn't working the morning shift that day.

Three unceasing lines.
The terror of 7AM.
Rebates suck great ass.

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Post by Dunjohn »

chriscaffee wrote: To make up for that I did get to see Commando three times. You know he's special forces when he smells the bad guys coming and ends up killing a grand total of seventy-nine baddies.

Some of the best written dialouge I ever heard.
A place in town finally got in a DVD of this last Saturday. It looked like brilliant, mindless Homer Simpsonism. With this coicidentally-timed seal of approval, yeah, I'm definitely gonna get it.

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