Personally, I would like to see either Pengo, Naked Tillis, or Midori win, but I'm not sure who actually has the best chance of doing so.
Pengo's super smart, but he's also psychotic. Tails Doll is an unholy monster (always a plus), but he's seems to have no fighting skills besides his soul-ssscchhhllllluuurrrppping. Dark Lord Naka is a master of the Dark Arts and
of milking properties for all their worth, but he's kind of scrawny. Popcorn's Mom is, apperently, a shape-shifting sucubus porn star hooker, but that doesn't mean she can put up a fight, does it? Gilbert Lyle is a man of mystery, and as such may actually be a real threat to his opponents... but we know so little about him, we can't really hazard a guess. The Camel Spider can eat brains, climb on walls and ceilings, and has very sharp teeth, but it's barely sentient, if at all. Naked Tillis is at a disadvantage due to having had her soul stolen by T.D., but this may mean she'd fight beyond that of a normal hentai character. And Midori, last but not least, is notable for the fact that's smart, sexy, and, if we are to believe that she bares similarities to Ryoko Hirosue, she can sing, too... but those probably won't win you any fights, will they?
Oh, for those who are wondering who some of these characters are...
is The GHZ's mascot, from around year two onwards (1998). She is a 5'3" Japanese anthropology major "who can kick your ass at ChuChu Rocket," and while a success at something frequently yields a night with her in The GHZ Love Suite, the meating are always decidely chaste ("nothing below the belt or above the knees," as GG! put it once), if they even happen at all. She also is contemplating a career in Politics (that joke started up after GG! was messing around with URLs and found out about a politician's website called Midori.com).
was something noted GHZer Isambard, brother of the legendary Eternal Gamer, brought up one day, threatening to sick them on someone. First off: Camel Spiders, a.k.a. Wind Scorpions, are neither spiders nor scorpions, but they are related. Secondly: They don't really eat brains, but the one at The GHZ is a big, mutated one that doesn't know that. Third: Isambard is insane. And we love him for it.
Who, boy. This started off on April Fools' Day, 2001, if I recall, when GG! issued a phony "News" item claiming that Naoto Oshima appeared buck naked to issue a press conference that Sonic Team was going to make a X-rated remake of "Burning Rangers" called "Burning Rangers: Hentai Edition" which would come with a vibrating belt (possible with a special container for Kleenex). To back this up, GG! posted with the article several images from a hentai doujinshi of several "Burning Rangers" characters in the buff. Just about all of us were fooled. Tillis was in one of the pictures, and Chris Parten was in the other... though for some reason, Tillis proved to be more popular (maybe it's because she's a barely legal popsicle?).
was an unlockable character in "Sonic R", and is mostly notable for looking kinda creepy. Ecco/Dark Dolphin, back when he was a regular poster, commented that it's "eyes go sssccchhhhhlllluuuurrrpppyyy!" and that, when it does this, it steals one's soul.
Dark Lord Naka:
He's rich, he can tear your heart out of your rib cage with a single thought, and he has sex with his car. Does anything more need to be said?
I have no idea how we all started making jokes about Popcorn's Mom,
and I'm not sure I want to find out. But could someone please tell me anyhow?
first came to The GHZ when it was announced that Sonic Team was going to make a version of his original game for cel phones. GG! then through together that same day a sprite comic of Pengo quoting, amongst other things, "Fight Club", "Bitches Love Me", and "Cowboy Bebop". He followed it up with "XXX Live Nude Penguins XXX", in which Pengo and another obscure video game penguin got it on whilst a Tekken character hatched out of an egg (this time Pengo quoted "Star Wars", "Street Fighter", and "Calvin and Hobbes"). Then he appeared again in a Sonic-Metal Gear crossover, again by GG!, and then in something by Pepperidge I like to call "Sonic X: Pulp Fanfiction", which also featured repeated use of the "F-word," as well as arse-rape. It's a shame I only have the last one.
Reportedly, Pengo began to travel the world as a wandering scholar after his video game career came to an end in the early 1980s, and amassed quite a bit of knowledge... unfortunately, he now came only comunicate in quotes. He also reportedly sounds like Bill Murray.
I'm not sure of the origin of Gilbert Lyle,
except that A.) he picks his nose, B.) he is a mysterious employee of Drano, C.) he might be connected with the spectral Typhoon, and D.) he may not even exist.
Also, I remember one time when GG! promised that failure at something/not being involved in an activity would result in being forced to spend a night with Lyle and not Midori.
If some of you are wondering where I got some of my character info, some of it (especially for Midori, Camel Spider, Pengo and Gilbert Lyle) from The GHZ "trading cards" from the fifth anniversary in 2002 (if I knew how to upload images, I would post the complete set of thirty). Other bits come from The GHZ seventh anniversary "interviews", and the bits about Ryoko Hirosue and Bill Murray come from The GHZ "movie poster"... but then, they also claimed that GG! would be played by a G.M.-ed primate, a sumo wrestler would play Del, and Paul "Pee-Wee Herman" Reubens would play G.Silver, so... yeah.
Anyhow, as for the fight... I really can't decide.
I fixed some BBCode problems. ANd yes, I do
know that no one cares.
EDIT NUMBER TWO:
More corrections. *sigh*
Screw it, I'm voting for Midori, since she's the mascot, and all.