GHZ: Apocalypse

Because death would've been too merciful.

Who would win in a fight?

Midori
6
10%
Naked Tillis
3
5%
Tails Doll
16
26%
Dark Lord Naka
2
3%
Pengo
8
13%
Gilbert Lyle
1
2%
Camel Spider
5
8%
Popcorn's Mom
20
33%
 
Total votes: 61

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Post by Guest »

What?

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Post by gr4yJ4Y »

Popcorn's Mom walks on the scene and tries hitting on Naka because you know she always likes guys with money. The Dark Loard gets frightened by a woman in his presence and shoots that floating ball of energy at her knocking her into Tails Doll. Tails Doll eats her soul upon contact. Tails Doll grows doublein size from this.

Meanwhile Pengo and the Cammel Spider go at it. The Cammel Spider jumps on top of Pengo and starts sucking blood. Unknown to the Cammel Spider, sprite blood is poisonous to spiders and it chokes.

Naked Tillis and Midori see that they are the most evenly matched for each other and go at it. Things start getting sweaty and all the other fighters besides Naka and Pengo gawk.

Naka and Pengo see they are the only ones not turned on (since Pengo takes no interest at 3 D chicks). Pengo, still dizzy from blood loss, does a beak drill attack at Naka but misses jamming his beak into the back Gilbert Lyle's neck, cutting off his nerv system. Lyle falls on the ground dead. Pengo is now stuck and finally faints from the blood loss.

Naked Tillis and Midori still causing some hot action begin to tire out. Naked Tillis has the edge since she needs no human emotions to function. Midori tries to run away and Tillis bolts after her. Midori checks behind her to see how far ahead she is when out of nowhere she makes contact with a dazed Tails Doll. Midori's soul is sucked into Tails and his size doubles again.

Still on the trail of Midori, Tillis runs into Tails too. Since she has no soul to begin with Tails Doll has no effect. Tails Doll uses his huge size do a hovering butt stomp on Tillis - making her temporarily paralized. Tails takes some time to contemplate how to get rid of Tillis, when Naka appears from around the corner. Naka uses his l33t programming skills to turn Tillis into blue jell-o and Tails into a giant statue of himself.

Naka eats Tillis and stares at his statue in all of his glory. Eventually he can't resist and goes to hug its leg. As soon as he touches it his soul is sucked and Tails Doll returns to his old form, 8 times his orriginal size.

Winner: Tail Doll!

He then goes on to take over Tokyo.

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Post by Delphine »

what

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Post by Baba O'Reily »

That was the best story ever.
However, Tails Doll is challenged in court by Pengo, citing legal clause No. 54, "He who is fainted can still fight", and in a landmark 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court declares Tails Doll the winner. Pengo and attorney Johnny Cochran proceed to destroy Wyoming. Nobody notices.

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Post by Knuckles Dawson »

But is to become of the eaten Tillis Jello? And was the Jello in her human shapeliness thus making her all the more edible?

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Post by j-man »

If it was Tillis-flavoured I'm sold.

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Post by Knuckles Dawson »

Well, if it's Tillis-shaped (Like my query), and Tillis-flavoured (like your comment), I'd have a new favorite snack.

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Post by Nova »

Tails doll is found by Cream the rabbit, Tails dolls discovers Cream has no soul. Cream hugs Tails doll to dead. He doesn’t die cause is a doll and doesn’t breathe. Tails doll tries to use some fighting moves, Cream summons his Chao Cheese from the underworld.

The fights last hours, cause Tails doll may be powerful but Cream & Chao are the easiest characters to use. And are very strong to make Sonic games easy to 2 years old kids and losers.

The fights ends because Cream mom calls her, Cheese thinks Tails doll is cute and the world gets screwed a bit more.

I blame you for this… Mr. Alcohol!

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Post by Zeta »

You're right about one thing - Cheese is like a God of wrath and destruction. He is like a tiny, malevolent, unstopable force of nature.



Cheese is the end-bringer.

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Post by Baba O'Reily »

Cheese was a total badass.

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Post by Nova »

Zeta wrote:You're right about one thing - Cheese is like a God of wrath and destruction. He is like a tiny, malevolent, unstopable force of nature.

Cheese is the end-bringer.
IF Chesse wasn’t slaved by Cream, he would take over the world!. Cheese and Tails doll together...dont they look cute?. Thats it until Tails doll takes your soul and Cheese makes you see all the Barney & Teletubies episodes making your head explote.

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Post by Protodude »

Heh, explote.

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Post by Locit »

Hi, everybody.
Thought I'd suggest someone create a new poll. We obviously don't have enough conflict around here, and we need more contrasting opinions created by set parameters. Also, it's been a while.
That is all.
-Locit

P.S.
Made you look.

guest

Post by guest »

so...you're going to be doing that by reviving a dead topic?

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Post by Locit »

That was the general plan, yes.

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Post by Baba O'Reily »

Wouldn't it make more sense to bitch in the Open Forum?

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Post by j-man »

Or the News forum, in topics completely unrelated to the argument. Everyone else does it.

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Post by muke »

Ha ha, I used the guest feature! I guess that it's just not Chris who knows about this now...

EDIT: Yikes, this is a stupid post! Prepare to see this become a trend for the next 10-20 posts like the last time this happened with my first 20.

Even the edit sounds stupid
Last edited by muke on Thu Mar 17, 2005 11:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by Delphine »

Pretty much everyone knows about it.

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Post by chriscaffee »

No. It's my secret.

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Post by Baba O'Reily »

...Even I know about it. Hell, I was going to post in this thread in guest mode just to piss you off. But I don't know my password. So, no dice.

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Post by aso »

I haven't voted in this poll?

I am voting in this poll.

Tails Doll.

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Post by The Scarlet Scorpion »

Hmm.

Personally, I would like to see either Pengo, Naked Tillis, or Midori win, but I'm not sure who actually has the best chance of doing so.

Pengo's super smart, but he's also psychotic. Tails Doll is an unholy monster (always a plus), but he's seems to have no fighting skills besides his soul-ssscchhhllllluuurrrppping. Dark Lord Naka is a master of the Dark Arts and of milking properties for all their worth, but he's kind of scrawny. Popcorn's Mom is, apperently, a shape-shifting sucubus porn star hooker, but that doesn't mean she can put up a fight, does it? Gilbert Lyle is a man of mystery, and as such may actually be a real threat to his opponents... but we know so little about him, we can't really hazard a guess. The Camel Spider can eat brains, climb on walls and ceilings, and has very sharp teeth, but it's barely sentient, if at all. Naked Tillis is at a disadvantage due to having had her soul stolen by T.D., but this may mean she'd fight beyond that of a normal hentai character. And Midori, last but not least, is notable for the fact that's smart, sexy, and, if we are to believe that she bares similarities to Ryoko Hirosue, she can sing, too... but those probably won't win you any fights, will they?

Oh, for those who are wondering who some of these characters are...

Midori is The GHZ's mascot, from around year two onwards (1998). She is a 5'3" Japanese anthropology major "who can kick your ass at ChuChu Rocket," and while a success at something frequently yields a night with her in The GHZ Love Suite, the meating are always decidely chaste ("nothing below the belt or above the knees," as GG! put it once), if they even happen at all. She also is contemplating a career in Politics (that joke started up after GG! was messing around with URLs and found out about a politician's website called Midori.com).

Camel Spider was something noted GHZer Isambard, brother of the legendary Eternal Gamer, brought up one day, threatening to sick them on someone. First off: Camel Spiders, a.k.a. Wind Scorpions, are neither spiders nor scorpions, but they are related. Secondly: They don't really eat brains, but the one at The GHZ is a big, mutated one that doesn't know that. Third: Isambard is insane. And we love him for it.

Naked Tillis: Who, boy. This started off on April Fools' Day, 2001, if I recall, when GG! issued a phony "News" item claiming that Naoto Oshima appeared buck naked to issue a press conference that Sonic Team was going to make a X-rated remake of "Burning Rangers" called "Burning Rangers: Hentai Edition" which would come with a vibrating belt (possible with a special container for Kleenex). To back this up, GG! posted with the article several images from a hentai doujinshi of several "Burning Rangers" characters in the buff. Just about all of us were fooled. Tillis was in one of the pictures, and Chris Parten was in the other... though for some reason, Tillis proved to be more popular (maybe it's because she's a barely legal popsicle?).

Tails Doll was an unlockable character in "Sonic R", and is mostly notable for looking kinda creepy. Ecco/Dark Dolphin, back when he was a regular poster, commented that it's "eyes go sssccchhhhhlllluuuurrrpppyyy!" and that, when it does this, it steals one's soul.

Dark Lord Naka: He's rich, he can tear your heart out of your rib cage with a single thought, and he has sex with his car. Does anything more need to be said?

I have no idea how we all started making jokes about Popcorn's Mom, and I'm not sure I want to find out. But could someone please tell me anyhow?

Pengo first came to The GHZ when it was announced that Sonic Team was going to make a version of his original game for cel phones. GG! then through together that same day a sprite comic of Pengo quoting, amongst other things, "Fight Club", "Bitches Love Me", and "Cowboy Bebop". He followed it up with "XXX Live Nude Penguins XXX", in which Pengo and another obscure video game penguin got it on whilst a Tekken character hatched out of an egg (this time Pengo quoted "Star Wars", "Street Fighter", and "Calvin and Hobbes"). Then he appeared again in a Sonic-Metal Gear crossover, again by GG!, and then in something by Pepperidge I like to call "Sonic X: Pulp Fanfiction", which also featured repeated use of the "F-word," as well as arse-rape. It's a shame I only have the last one. :sad: Reportedly, Pengo began to travel the world as a wandering scholar after his video game career came to an end in the early 1980s, and amassed quite a bit of knowledge... unfortunately, he now came only comunicate in quotes. He also reportedly sounds like Bill Murray.

I'm not sure of the origin of Gilbert Lyle, except that A.) he picks his nose, B.) he is a mysterious employee of Drano, C.) he might be connected with the spectral Typhoon, and D.) he may not even exist. Also, I remember one time when GG! promised that failure at something/not being involved in an activity would result in being forced to spend a night with Lyle and not Midori.

If some of you are wondering where I got some of my character info, some of it (especially for Midori, Camel Spider, Pengo and Gilbert Lyle) from The GHZ "trading cards" from the fifth anniversary in 2002 (if I knew how to upload images, I would post the complete set of thirty). Other bits come from The GHZ seventh anniversary "interviews", and the bits about Ryoko Hirosue and Bill Murray come from The GHZ "movie poster"... but then, they also claimed that GG! would be played by a G.M.-ed primate, a sumo wrestler would play Del, and Paul "Pee-Wee Herman" Reubens would play G.Silver, so... yeah.

Anyhow, as for the fight... I really can't decide.




EDIT: I fixed some BBCode problems. ANd yes, I do know that no one cares.

EDIT NUMBER TWO: More corrections. *sigh*




Screw it, I'm voting for Midori, since she's the mascot, and all.

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Post by Baba O'Reily »

WALL OF APATHY

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Post by Delphine »

tl;dr

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