Essential Retard

Because death would've been too merciful.

Vote for the most retarded Sonic character.

Ray the Flying Squirrel
7
9%
Charmy Bee (the old one)
1
1%
Charmy Bee (the new one)
24
30%
Vector the Crocodile (the new one)
3
4%
Espio the Chameleon (the new one)
3
4%
Big the Cat
15
19%
Cream the Rabbit
15
19%
Other (reply with your nomination)
12
15%
 
Total votes: 80

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Segaholic2
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Light Speed
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Post by Light Speed »

I thought it looked funny, I was to lazy to look it up though. That is why we have the Asian-American workaholic.

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Jaden
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Post by Jaden »

Well blowing shit up is nice, but that is also why he sucks... He just blows shit but it is watered down... As it stands he has no real depth, if he was crazy or something that would be different... But he just blows hit up just to do it and that gets boring after a while... It is like I how I look at the GTA games it is good for a bit but after that it just gets boring blowing shit for no reason... And anyway blowing the shit up in Heroes isn't that fun, everything is just so lame and dumb...

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J.C.14
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Post by J.C.14 »

Light Speed wrote:If I were an 11 year old girl I wouldn't be playing Sonic the Hedgehog.
Well...I thought Sonic The Hedgehog was made for the 8-14 people.

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Ngangbius
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Post by Ngangbius »

aso, polite chidren are boring--unless they have a sad past like Ashiteru ze Baby's Yuzu or they are weird like Inuyasha's Rin. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I totally hate Cream--it's just she doesn't seem to 'fit' in the Sonic mold too much.
Spazz wrote:Honestly, if you were a <i>typical</i> little girl of 11 or younger, who would you rather play with? A ditzy hedgehog with a backless dress or a cute bunny with a Chao that wears a bow-tie?
I'd play as the crazy-arse hedgehog with a hammer before the cutesy widdle bunny with a Chao in a Sonic game. But then, I was far from being a typical 11 year old girl in the 90's I mean, I actually played video games that didn't begin with "Barbie" fer chrissakes!

Light Speed, Charmy's age wasn't given in the Japanese Chaotix manual. The 16 age was used in the U.S. manuals. Also, it is best not to question the any of flying physics in SH anywho.

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aso
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Post by aso »

Polite children are boring, yes. Then again, Cream is a little girl who can run really fast, fly with her ears, and have her Chao with a bow tie fling itself at enemies. I'd say that qualifies her as silly (or retarded hur hur) enough to exist in the Sonic universe.

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Green Gibbon!
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Post by Green Gibbon! »

Do any decent scans of the Japanese Chaotix manual exist? I have three that were posted a while back, but they're totally illegible.

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big_smile
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Post by big_smile »

Green Gibbon! wrote:Do any decent scans of the Japanese Chaotix manual exist? I have three that were posted a while back, but they're totally illegible.
Bulk from Sonic Dimension copied the text from the manual (together with a rough translation):

KNUCKLES THE ECHIDNA
ナックルズ・ザ・エキドゥナ

伝説の浮遊島にある、マスターエメラルド“ピラーâ€￾のガーディアン。今回の騒ぎに対して、少
なからず責任を感じている。

The Guardian of the master emerald "PIRA" on a legendary floating island.
Responsibility is felt not a little to this noise.


ESPIO THE CHAMELEON
エスピオ・ザ・カメレオン
性別:男
sex : male
年齢:17歳
age : 17
職業:私立探偵
occupation : private detective
趣味:戦闘訓練 情報収集
hobby : battle dorill ,inforrnation cllect
好きなもの:キャンプ
liking : camp
嫌いなもの:エッグマン
dislike:eggman

正義感だけならとても強い、一本気な性格。伝説の文明に興味を持ち、浮遊島との関係を調べる
ために島に訪れることになった。そのため、実はナックルをうらやんでいる。
If it is only a sense of justice, it is very strong single-minded character.
It gets interested in legendary civilization, and in order to investigate a
relation with a floating island, it will visit on an island. Therefore, in
fact, the knuckle is envied.


MIGHITY THE ARMADILLO
マイティー・ザ・アルマジロ

性別:男
sex : male
年齢:16歳
age : 16
趣味:森林浴
hobby : forest bath
好きなもの:平穏、自然
liking :peace,nature
嫌いなもの:暴力
dislike:violence
各地を旅することに生き甲斐を感じている旅行者。窮地に立てば一転、すごい能力を発揮する
が、荒っぽいことが好きではなく、おっとりしている。
偶然この島にたどり着いて騒ぎに巻き込まれることに…。
The traveler who feels definite aim in life for traveling in every place.
Although a drastic change and uncanny capability will be demonstrated if it
stands on a plight, he does not like a rough thing but it is carrying out
gently. It will arrive at this island by chance, and will be involved in a
noise.


VECTOR THE CROCODILE
ベクター・ザ・クロコダイル

性別:男
sex : male
年齢:16歳
age : 16
趣味:音楽、ダンス、バスケット
hobby :music,dancing,basketboll
好きなもの:スポーツ飲料
liking :sport drink
嫌いなもの:ノイズ
dislike:noise
底抜けに陽気でかなりの楽天家。しかし、実は誰よりも仲間意識が強く、どんな困難にも立ち向
かっていく力強さと優しさを持っている。神の存在を信じており、奇跡の島のニュースを聞いて
この島にやってきた。
It is a cheerful and remarkable optimist imprudently. However, in fact, rather
than whom, group consciousness is strong and has what forcibleness and
tenderness which fight also difficult. Existence of God was believed, and the
news of the island of a miracle were heard and it came to this island.


CHARMY BEE
チャーミービー

性別:男
sex : male
職業:スプリンター
occupation :sprinter
趣味:昼寝
hobby :forty winks
好きなもの:お日様、ハチミツ
liking :sun,honey
嫌いなもの:バカにされること
dislike: a fool is made
昆虫で初めて音速を超えた彼は、プライドが高く、自分を否定されると黙っていられない性格。
しかも、かなりの気分屋で言動が大人びている。新しい島に新しい花を求めて飛んできた、自称
“世界最速の虫â€￾。
He who exceeded acoustic velocity for the first time with the insect is
character about which it will not have kept silent if pride is high and has
itself denied. And speech and conduct have become it precocious by the
remarkable moody person. The alleged name which has flown to a new island in
quest of a new flower "the fastest insect in the world."


Dr,EGGMAN
ドクターエッグマン

相変わらずの悪名高き天才科学者。
今度は失われた文明のある島にある太古のスペシャルリングに目をつけ、それによって呼び寄せ
ることができるという、マスターエメラルドを手に入れようともくろむ。
もちろん目的は、世界の支配者になること。
A notorious gifted scientist as usual. An eye is shortly attached to the
special ring of the ancient times on an island with the lost civilization, and
it is intended that the master emerald that it can call by it will be got. Of
course, the purpose should become the ruler in the world.

METAL SONIC (Untranslated)
~メタルソニック改について~
Dr.エッグマンに作られたソニック型ロボットで、以前ソニックと対決して壊れた本体から
メインとサブCPUを回収、予備の機体に載せかえられ
今回のダークリングパワーにより生まれ変わった。
新しく搭載されたプラズナーにより胸部から
「プラズマ・パルス・アタック」という技が可能になった。

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Owen Axel
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Post by Owen Axel »

I voted Big. So sue me.

I just can't get over the frustration of discovering a strew of fishing missions in a Sonic game. I mean FISHING. Who the hell includes a sport that rellies on patience and slow calculation in a game that revolves around running fast, finding stuff fast, racing fast, running away fast, blowing stuff up fast, and generally moving forward with lots of action.

Fucking fishing.

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Post by The Almighty Bunghole »

Big is undoubtly the ultimate example of a retard in any game, let alone a Sonic game.

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Green Gibbon!
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Post by Green Gibbon! »

I could've put up with a decent fishing mini-game that was seperate from the main dish (as it was), but Big's fishing was just balls. The camera was as dysfunctional as it was in the rest of the game, and that's an accomplishment considering you were just sitting still. Plus there was no skill or technique involved in getting a bite or reeling it in, just an excercise in patience as you hold down the A button, let go, hold down the A button, let go, repeat indefinitely.

I still think Big as a character is a nice contrast to pretty much the entire rest of the cast.

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Argent Silver
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Post by Argent Silver »

I actually do like Big, but that's not the question you asked. If you asked "Which character do you most dislike?", I would've voted Cream or the new Charmy, but you asked for the most retarded, and that is definitely Big.

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Post by Ngangbius »

You know what, I just thought of something.

Given that that the general "grade-school friendly" tone the Sonic series seems to be heading currently, maybe characters like Cream&Cheese and Charmy doesn't seem that out of place at all.

Just look how youth-orientated the current commercials are, the general tone by having characters communicate with each other in a juvinelle way in Sonic Heroes, comparing the more 'kid-like' atmosphere in Sonic X to the more general audience mood in the OAV, and even comparing the current Uekawa art in which Sonic seems to be reverting to a "cute" stage in contrast to the wild, badass expressivness that was found in the Sonic Adventure artworks.

Silly me, when I took this poll, I was thinking with a pre-Sonic Advance 1 era in mind.

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Ash Holt
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Post by Ash Holt »

Yes, Big is the only one there that is literally retarded.

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Post by Spazz »

I think Eggman is literally retarded because he's always doing the same thing and not learning from old defeats. You think he'd get a clue and at least develop a better bot-loyalty system. It's always "Muahahah, I have developed the ultimate weapon and I'm going to destroy the world and build Eggmanland!" Jeez, at least come up with a better name than something like "Robotnicland."

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Ngangbius
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Post by Ngangbius »

Eggman isn't retarded, he's just too smart for his own good.

I mean he's intelligent enough to create robots that bypassed 'The Three Laws of Robotics'.

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Delphine
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Post by Delphine »

Light Speed wrote:If I were an 11 year old girl I wouldn't be playing Sonic the Hedgehog.
That's funny, 'cause I was playing Sonic when I was 11.

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-wyvern
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Post by -wyvern »

Woah woah woah. There's a big difference between sonic when del was eleven and sonic now. You see, back then sonic was genuinely cool. Nowerdays the designers are trying to MAKE him cool, and of course failing miserably, as anyone does when they try to be cool. When sonic was cool, everyone, even my gran, played it. Nowerdays things are a little different, and I reckon sonic gets the bulk of his sales from parents buying their kids a video game with a recognisable character on.

And us, of course.

Sorry, this whole post was off topic. Feel free to incinerate it at your leisure.

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Light Speed
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Post by Light Speed »

Yeah, but you're weird.

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Post by G.Silver »

My vote goes to Charmy as well. There's.... no explanation needed.
Big is totally bastardized by the English dubs. He sounds all relaxed and easygoing in SA with Japanese voices on, and like a complete fscking moron with the English voices. Granted, I don't know what an idiot is supposed to sound like in Japanese, but the English voice is just awful and annoying.
I used to think that, but when I played Sonic Heroes in Japanese (he has a new guy doing his voice there, doesn't he?) it began to dawn on me that maybe he does sound like a complete idiot after all. This may be something new because I'm sure he sounded a bit different in SA, but even not really being fully aware of how I was supposed to "read" his language, in SH he was starting to grate on me. Though, almost all the characters started to grate on me at some point or other.

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Post by Spazz »

-wyvern wrote:Woah woah woah. There's a big difference between sonic when del was eleven and sonic now. You see, back then sonic was genuinely cool.
I meant if you were an 11-year-old girl <i>today.</i> And yeah, Sonic <i>was</i> a lot cooler back when they weren't <i>trying</i> to make him cool.

<i>"Let's blast through with Sonic speed! Okay! Alright!"</i>
So lame...

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G.Silver
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Post by G.Silver »

Actually they were trying to make him cool even back then, just in a different way. Does anyone here own a "2 Dude's with Atti2udes" S&K t-shirt?

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Post by Esrever »

Nope, but I have a set of trading cards with similarly embarassing slogans! :)

R U up 2 it? Totally Tails! Way Past Cool!

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Spazz
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Post by Spazz »

Sonic's best phrase is <i>"Here we Go!"</i>

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Ngangbius
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Post by Ngangbius »

Esrever wrote:Nope, but I have a set of trading cards with similarly embarassing slogans! :)

R U up 2 it?
This phrase could be the basis of many AOL IM log chats.

Man, and to think kids in the 90's bought those slogans thinking they were cool...oh, excuse me, I meant to say "dope".

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