Essential Retard

Because death would've been too merciful.
Post Reply

Vote for the most retarded Sonic character.

Ray the Flying Squirrel
7
9%
Charmy Bee (the old one)
1
1%
Charmy Bee (the new one)
24
30%
Vector the Crocodile (the new one)
3
4%
Espio the Chameleon (the new one)
3
4%
Big the Cat
15
19%
Cream the Rabbit
15
19%
Other (reply with your nomination)
12
15%
 
Total votes: 80

User avatar
Green Gibbon!
BUTT CHEESE
Posts: 4648
Joined: Fri May 21, 2004 11:39 am
Now Playing: Bit Trip Complete
Location: A far eastern land across the sea
Contact:

Essential Retard

Post by Green Gibbon! »

Of the 30+ games in the Sonic series, exactly 5 of them are quality titles. The cast of characters is very much the same. So, once and for all: which neon rodent is the most grievous transgression against the Sonic name?

One-shot secondary characters like Witchcart and Battle Kukku don't count. Void, Lumina, and Illumina are also off-limit votes because they're so obvious.

User avatar
Spazz
Posts: 1953
Joined: Sat May 29, 2004 1:12 pm
Location: New Orleans, LA
Contact:

Post by Spazz »

Wouldn't Knuckles qualify as a "<i>retarded</i>" character?
I'm not a Knuckles-hater or anything, but he did say retarded...
Last edited by Spazz on Mon Jun 14, 2004 6:36 pm, edited 2 times in total.

User avatar
-wyvern
Posts: 355
Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 5:55 pm
Location: England

Post by -wyvern »

Cream and cheese will likely make most of the next few sonic advance games unplayable for me. She (and it) just does not have a place either to balance the game or to add to the story. Cream the rabbit should never have met sonic the hedgehog.

End of rant.

User avatar
Esrever
Drano Master
Posts: 2981
Joined: Mon May 24, 2004 2:26 am
Contact:

Post by Esrever »

Ditto. Cream is an even bigger offender than Charmy, and that's hard to do.

But wait... 5 quality titles? 1, 2, 3, Knuckles, CD... are we not counting Sonic Adventure?
Last edited by Esrever on Mon Jun 14, 2004 6:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Segata
Posts: 430
Joined: Fri May 28, 2004 9:54 am
Contact:

Post by Segata »

Big is the proverbial man.

User avatar
Light Speed
Sexified
Posts: 2529
Joined: Sun May 23, 2004 4:08 pm
Location: Park City, Utah
Contact:

Post by Light Speed »

Esrever wrote:Ditto. Cream is an even bigger offender than Charmy, and that's hard to do.

But wait... 5 quality titles? 1, 2, 3, Knuckles, CD... are we not counting Sonic Adventure?
Nah, I think Gibbon counts 3 and Knuckles to be one game. They basically are.

User avatar
Segaholic2
Forum God
Posts: 3513
Joined: Fri May 21, 2004 11:28 am
Now Playing: Your mom
Contact:

Post by Segaholic2 »

I agree with Segata. Big might be retarded as a character, but he's definitely not <I>retarded</I>. I like him a lot.

User avatar
Spazz
Posts: 1953
Joined: Sat May 29, 2004 1:12 pm
Location: New Orleans, LA
Contact:

Post by Spazz »

Big is cool, but he is nothing without Froggy. That frog is bad-ass!

User avatar
Grant
Posts: 1489
Joined: Sat May 29, 2004 6:05 pm

Post by Grant »

I really can't stand Mighty. Hey, look! It's Sonic! But with... red!

User avatar
Green Gibbon!
BUTT CHEESE
Posts: 4648
Joined: Fri May 21, 2004 11:39 am
Now Playing: Bit Trip Complete
Location: A far eastern land across the sea
Contact:

Post by Green Gibbon! »

I also think Big's pretty cool, but alot of people seem to hate him, so I'll at least give them their outlet. Even though they're wrong.

At least Cream made the bosses in Sonic Advance 2 playable.

User avatar
Ngangbius
Posts: 2061
Joined: Wed May 26, 2004 2:06 am
Now Playing: Dragon Quest IX
Location: Cleveland, OH

Post by Ngangbius »

As much as I hate to say it, I would have to nominate Cream & Cheese as being the weakest link of the Sonic series.

First of all her design and choice as a species seems...lazy. I mean, rabbits are one of my favorite all time animals but in a series that has anthromorphic hedgehogs, a multi-tailed fox, an echidna, etc. you would expect something more...'exotic' than a rabbit even if it is a lop(I would have settled for a Jackalope, even). I mean, even Bunnie Rabbot has a cooler design than Cream. In addition, while she shares the cuteness category with Tails and Amy, she seems to lack a certain kind of 'Sega Sassy-ness' that seperates the general Sonic characters from the general Mario characters. She seems a bit too cute and it doesn't help that she lacks any dynamic pose. Cheese's design also sucks.

Second, she is designated as a "beginner character". Uh...what? Since when did Sonic games needed "beginner characters"? Sonic games shouldn't and never was that complex to begin with. It just seems pointless.

Third, she is supposedly a pacifist which is why Cheese do all the fighting so why should she have to order Cheese to fight at all? And then there is the fact that she is the only Sonic character with an actual *gasp* parent so I have to wonder why the heck does Vanilla allows her only child go on dangerous adventures with a bunch of wild orphans?

Fourth, unlike Tails, Knuckles, and Amy, Cream have not been connected in anyway to Sonic. She may have connections to Amy, but Amy is not the main character of the series.

Fifth, she officially has the worse dubbed voice in all of Sonic-dom EVER! Yes, even worse than the ADV dub of Tails in the Sonic OAV.

As for the other characters on this poll: Ray is largely forgotten as well as the old Charmy. The Chaotix are cool(even the Neia/Radical Ed/Kaolla Su-inspired Charmy) though I prefer the old ninja-less Espio to the new one. They should stick to spin-off or having cameos(not playable) in Sonic games. Like NT said, Big may be retarded but he's cool--in a Totoro-ish kind of way. I may not like his fishing gameplay but it was funny seeing his fighting animations in Sonic Heroes. Though like Chaotix, he should stick to cameos.

And Knuckles isn't retarded, he's just too darn guillible. But that's okay, he's still coo'.
GG! wrote:At least Cream made the bosses in Sonic Advance 2 playable.
And that's probably the real reason that she was created. :p The person who thought the idea of a 'running boss' to be fun should have their kneecaps bashed in repeatedly.

User avatar
Jaden
Posts: 106
Joined: Tue May 25, 2004 11:23 pm

Post by Jaden »

I have to vote for Omega, if he counts... I mean he has one of the most retarded backstories ever... "I got locked in a room, I have to kill my maker"... He also makes everything that was done with Gamma seem void...

User avatar
Spazz
Posts: 1953
Joined: Sat May 29, 2004 1:12 pm
Location: New Orleans, LA
Contact:

Post by Spazz »

Ngangbius wrote:First of all her design and choice as a species seems...lazy. I mean, rabbits are one of my favorite all time animals but in a series that has anthromorphic hedgehogs, a multi-tailed fox, an echidna, etc. you would expect something more...'exotic' than a rabbit even if it is a lop(I would have settled for a Jackalope, even). I mean, even Bunnie Rabbot has a cooler design than Cream. In addition, while she shares the cuteness category with Tails and Amy, she seems to lack a certain kind of 'Sega Sassy-ness' that seperates the general Sonic characters from the general Mario characters. She seems a bit too cute and it doesn't help that she lacks any dynamic pose. Cheese's design also sucks.
The great thing about Sonic Team is that they try to appeal to all audiences. In this case, little girls. My 11-year-old sister has always liked the Sonic series, but now that they have Cream and Cheese, she has more fun with it. This is why they had the whole fishing aspect in Sonic Adventure.
Ngangbius wrote:Second, she is designated as a "beginner character". Uh...what? Since when did Sonic games needed "beginner characters"? Sonic games shouldn't and never was that complex to begin with. It just seems pointless.
Again, Sonic Team is reaching out to a large audience. This makes the game easy to play for new players and kids who don't have much skill. This way, they don't get discouraged and they can practice until they're ready to play with other characters. Also, Cream & Cheese are a symbol of starting off easy, in other words: Cute n' Fuzzy = Nice n' Easy.

User avatar
J.C.14
Douche Bag
Douche Bag
Posts: 214
Joined: Sat Jun 12, 2004 3:12 pm
Location: Los Angeles, California
Contact:

Post by J.C.14 »

Ngangbius wrote:there is the fact that she is the only Sonic character with an actual *gasp* parent so I have to wonder why the heck does Vanilla allows her only child go on dangerous adventures with a bunch of wild orphans?

Fourth, unlike Tails, Knuckles, and Amy, Cream have not been connected in anyway to Sonic. She may have connections to Amy, but Amy is not the main character of the series.

Fifth, she officially has the worse dubbed voice in all of Sonic-dom EVER! Yes, even worse than the ADV dub of Tails in the Sonic OAV.

As for the other characters on this poll: Ray is largely forgotten as well as the old Charmy. The Chaotix are cool(even the Neia/Radical Ed/Kaolla Su-inspired Charmy) though I prefer the old ninja-less Espio to the new one. They should stick to spin-off or having cameos(not playable) in Sonic games. Like NT said, Big may be retarded but he's cool--in a Totoro-ish kind of way. I may not like his fishing gameplay but it was funny seeing his fighting animations in Sonic Heroes. Though like Chaotix, he should stick to cameos.
There not really orphans, they supposingly never had a parent. There all just people who popped outta nowhere at any time. you've never seen
an eight-year old fly a plane. And a twelve-year old live in an apartment with Cream: a six-year old.
so the ages count nothing as to what I see, and as far as i'm aware, Vanilla is gone.

User avatar
Neon Chaos
Posts: 45
Joined: Wed May 26, 2004 9:44 pm
Location: Guthrie, Oklahoma USA
Contact:

Post by Neon Chaos »

It's between Ray and Cream for me because both of them are kind of cheap in looks or moves. I think Big kicks ass. He's like the only Sonic character that is slow and he's really different from all of the rest. I like Vector, Charmy, and Episo.

User avatar
Ngangbius
Posts: 2061
Joined: Wed May 26, 2004 2:06 am
Now Playing: Dragon Quest IX
Location: Cleveland, OH

Post by Ngangbius »

First of all, thank you Jaden for reminding me how much Omega sucked. He so did cheapen the best character story in Sonic Adventure. ;_; Thankfully, he is a one-shot character as of now.
Spazz wrote:The great thing about Sonic Team is that they try to appeal to all audiences. In this case, little girls. My 11-year-old sister has always liked the Sonic series, but now that they have Cream and Cheese, she has more fun with it. This is why they had the whole fishing aspect in Sonic Adventure.
Isn't Amy good enough for the little girls? At least she has some 'cool' to her 'cute', IMHO.
Again, Sonic Team is reaching out to a large audience. This makes the game easy to play for new players and kids who don't have much skill. This way, they don't get discouraged and they can practice until they're ready to play with other characters. Also, Cream & Cheese are a symbol of starting off easy, in other words: Cute n' Fuzzy = Nice n' Easy.
I thought the Sonic series was supposed to be accessable to everyone since Sonic 1.

And J.C., they, unlike Cream have been deprived of parents so by definition, they are orphans.

And Vanilla still exists. You just have not played Sonic Advance 3.
Last edited by Ngangbius on Mon Jun 14, 2004 9:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Argent Silver
Posts: 68
Joined: Wed May 26, 2004 3:04 pm
Location: Ohio

Post by Argent Silver »

I voted Big, because he actually is the most retarded if you're talking about the literal definition of the word. If you're talking figuratively, I probably woulda picked either Cream or the new Charmy.

plasticwingsband
ASSMAN
Posts: 1340
Joined: Thu May 27, 2004 6:53 pm
Location: Buttse.cx!
Contact:

Post by plasticwingsband »

I don't like the new Charmy at all.

On the other hand, I do actually like Big. I even have the Big action figure.

User avatar
Bo
Drano Master
Posts: 441
Joined: Fri May 21, 2004 2:01 pm
Location: Missouri
Contact:

Post by Bo »

Big is totally bastardized by the English dubs. He sounds all relaxed and easygoing in SA with Japanese voices on, and like a complete fscking moron with the English voices. Granted, I don't know what an idiot is supposed to sound like in Japanese, but the English voice is just awful and annoying.

User avatar
Spazz
Posts: 1953
Joined: Sat May 29, 2004 1:12 pm
Location: New Orleans, LA
Contact:

Post by Spazz »

Ngangbius wrote:Isn't Amy good enough for the little girls? At least she has some 'cool' to her 'cute', IMHO.
Guess not, the number of "cool guy/badass" characters outweighs the the "kawaii" characters: Sonic, Knuckles, Shadow, Vector, Espio, and Froggy just to name a few. All that as opposed to Amy and Tikal. So they probably decided to just add the cutest and most innocent character ever, with her little friend.
Ngangbius wrote:I thought the Sonic series was supposed to be accessable to everyone since Sonic 1.
Nah, when they were first realeasing Sonic, they just wanted to have a game with a character that was speedy and looked cool. I'm suprised they didn't have a difficulty setting back then.

User avatar
Light Speed
Sexified
Posts: 2529
Joined: Sun May 23, 2004 4:08 pm
Location: Park City, Utah
Contact:

Post by Light Speed »

He just sounds like an oaf. Or at least what I imagine an oaf to sound like.

User avatar
aso
Posts: 678
Joined: Wed May 26, 2004 12:18 am

Post by aso »

(Insert random Chaotix member here, beyond Espio)

And, hey, sue me, I actually like Cream. A lot. Just because she's so damned cute. That, and unlike Amy, she's just your standard polite little kid, not... like Amy.

I can't help but like her!

User avatar
Green Gibbon!
BUTT CHEESE
Posts: 4648
Joined: Fri May 21, 2004 11:39 am
Now Playing: Bit Trip Complete
Location: A far eastern land across the sea
Contact:

Post by Green Gibbon! »

I almost included Omega on the list, the one thing that made me decide that he doesn't deserve to be lumped in the same category as the rest of the listed losers is simply because he blows shit up. As educated or sophisticated as you can claim to be and may indeed live up to in practice, there's a certain strain that exists in every red-blooded male on the planet; a certain innate desire to just freaking blow up everything you see. It's very subdued and most of us wouldn't do it even if we could (or so I think), but it exists and we all respond to it to whatever extent.

My vote went with the new Charmy. There's just no excuse for that.

Though I still fucking hate Amy.

User avatar
Spazz
Posts: 1953
Joined: Sat May 29, 2004 1:12 pm
Location: New Orleans, LA
Contact:

Post by Spazz »

Honestly, if you were a <i>typical</i> little girl of 11 or younger, who would you rather play with? A ditzy hedgehog with a backless dress or a cute bunny with a Chao that wears a bow-tie?

User avatar
Light Speed
Sexified
Posts: 2529
Joined: Sun May 23, 2004 4:08 pm
Location: Park City, Utah
Contact:

Post by Light Speed »

If I were an 11 year old girl I wouldn't be playing Sonic the Hedgehog. Oh, and I voted to the new Charmy as well. Why did they take 10 years off of his age? And how the fuck can a 6 year old bee carry a 20 year old crocadile. For some reason my spelling of crocadile looks wrong.

Post Reply