Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

[Wombatwarlord777]

Sonic Team is always so innovative with names, aren't they?

[Sniffnoy]

Well it's a sword, it's not going to be "Stuncalibur" or anything.

[P.P.A.]

In before Sonic becomes a playable character in Soul Calibur V. Or rather, the SEGA Lindbergh version thereof.

[Yami CJMErl]

I suppose "Deathcalibur" sounds about as badass as names can get in a Sonic game. Hell, you told me the name without referencing the game, I'd have thought it was some new kind of metal band.

[Crowbar]

Fucking DEATHcalibur.

That's pretty much how I feel about that.

Also did anybody else find the site slow and clunky to the point of near-unusability?

[Delphine]

Fucking DEATHcalibur.

That's pretty much how I feel about that.

God thank you I thought I was the only one here who thought it was a bad idea.

[Wombatwarlord777]

What's your reward if you find every ring on that Flash site? Another wallpaper, perhaps?

[Isuka]

Deathcalibur?
It sounds like a good alias for the GDoD.

Oh, and don't click on that link.

[j-man]

They should've spelt it with a K.

[Dr. BUGMAN]

He eats with the fork of agony and the spoon of discontent.

[Crowbar]

They should've spelt it with a K.

Dethkalybur.

[Wombatwarlord777]

Deathcaliburk. There we go.

[Blount]

I'm surprised they didn't go with X-Kalibur. The X stands for X-TREEEEME.

This has some new footage, I think: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wm8aXeDm2oM

I'll give it two days until someone adds "I CAN HAS HOT DOGZ?" to that last shot.

[Kogen]

The character designs in this game are so awful, it just looks foolish.

Only one who does not look like crap is Sonic, since he is not really wearing anything stupid.

[Ngangbius]

Well, he is wearing a gauntlet and brandising a sword. That's still pretty stupid.

[Wombatwarlord777]

I think we can all agree that Sonic and the rest of the cast look outlandish in this game because we're not used to them wearing armor and brandishing weapons.

[Crowbar]

No. It's nothing to do with "not being used to it".

They just look stupid.

[Isuka]

It just boils down to the fact that many Sonic characters (especially Sonic himself) are anthropomorphized animals that still retain some kind of natural defense that also generally double as their trademark characteristic, which is subsequently used to gift the character with an assortment of (mostly unique) signature moves.

Here, they're just some random furries with swords, helms and shit.
Great.

[Kogen]

some random furries with swords, helms and shit.

[Baba O'Riley]

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if there's an 'original' character in there with a steampunk engine-sword that lets him boost around and keep pace with Sonic.

[Zeta]

Steam Metal Sonic?

[gr4yJ4Y]

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if there's an 'original' character in there with a steampunk engine-sword that lets him boost around and keep pace with Sonic.

Steam Metal Sonic?

I think Johnny from Sonic Rush Adventure could be shoehorned into that role... but then we risk Marine coming back too.

[Ngangbius]

Nah they'll save the Steam Metal Sonic in a future Storybook entry in which the bastardize works from Jules Verne and H.G. Wells.

[Kogen]

You have it all wrong! Sonic improves these stories.

[Wombatwarlord777]

Kogen wrote:
You have it all wrong! Sonic improves these stories.

Since Sega is tanking as a gaming company, maybe they could expand into the publishing business, to inject it with some much-needed 'tude. I can see their releases now...

A Tale of Two Sonics
Big, the Fat Cat, in the Hat
The Chronicles of Echind-nia
Lord of the Big Ten Ring Boxes
Moby Chaos
Amy's Adventures in Robotnikland
Clock ork Blue
And much, much more!

In all seriousness, I wouldn't be surprised if Sega decided to warp Sonic of to movie-inpired worlds, a la Viewtiful Joe in the next game. That's one angle that they haven't bastardized yet.