Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Recent happenings of pertinence to Sonic fans.
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Ngangbius
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by Ngangbius »

Early March, I think?

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Wooduck51
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by Wooduck51 »

And I found some SONIC THE HEDGEHOG ANTIBACTERIAL BODY WASH & GAME (no kidding) today. All is well with the world.

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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by FlashTHD »

Yami CJMErl wrote:
Locit wrote:Wait what? When the hell is this coming out?
Unless I'm mistaken, a week or two?
Close, it's out in the states this time next month, and japan 9 days later.

There does seem to be a distinct lack of marketing on this trash, but as was said, they're demoing it at Comic-Con.

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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by The Turtle Guy »

Wombatwarlord777 wrote:Apples...? Fuck. I really shouldn't be so surprised, given that they replaced almost everything else with something new (ie high-speed gameplay for swordplay, ect., ect.)
A preview I saw said the apples replace the fire orbs from SatSR, not the rings. Noo, there's little yellow Navis that do that.

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Shadow Hog
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by Shadow Hog »

And yet, despite you collecting yellow fairies, they still tally up how many rings you've collected. Doesn't make much sense.

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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by DackAttac »

The reviewer just basically said everything it would take to make me interested in this game, and yet I'm not sure if I believe him.

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Gaz
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by Gaz »

There's some gameplay videos at Gametrailers now.

Can't say I'm that impressed. It just looks like Sonic & the Secret Rings with a medieval setting and a sword.

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Zeta
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by Zeta »

Can't say I'm that impressed. It just looks like Sonic & the Secret Rings with a medieval setting and a sword.
That would be pretty much yes.

Now I wonder what Sonic would look like with Silver Slippers and a picnic basket?

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Neo
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by Neo »

You know, Secret Rings had potential. This isn't it!
The Turtle Guy wrote:the apples replace the fire orbs from SatSR
And they make the exact same sound, too. God, it's like they're not even trying any more.

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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by Baba O'Riley »

The gameplay looks clunky from these videos. I'm not really surprised or anything, but it might have helped if it, you know, looked like it controlled well.

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Crowbar
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by Crowbar »

Wait.

So he does still have rings, but instead of actually collecting rings he collects "Yellow Fairies", which somehow "increases the number of rings that protect you"? Am I getting this right?

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Shadow Hog
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by Shadow Hog »

Crowbar wrote:So he does still have rings, but instead of actually collecting rings he collects "Yellow Fairies", which somehow "increases the number of rings that protect you"? Am I getting this right?
Yup.

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Ritz
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by Ritz »

That boss battle was absolutely stunning. The docile dragon inquisitively sways his head in Sonic's general direction; Sonic, fueled with furious indignation towards his overtly curious demeanor, feverishly (Albeit inaccurately) slashes at the beast, who seldom gives any indication of irritation, until he finally gets tired of his shit and flies off. Compelling narrative!

Naturally, Sonic can't actually slay his foes or anything- such behavior would be wholly unbecoming of a true knight. Place your bets now: The final battle against Arthur culminates with Sonic knocking the crown off of his head. He apologizes, and all is well.

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Protodude
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by Protodude »

I can't help but think he'll most likely transform into a shining white knight against the final boss.

Also, the levels don't look quite as bland as they did in most of the screenshots. I mean, they're not really that enthralling or anything but based on that level they're slightly better than I imagined.

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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by Ritz »

Protodude wrote:I can't help but think he'll most likely transform into a shining white knight against the final boss.
Pfft, already confirmed.

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Post by Isuka »

soniconefan wrote:This was the most orgasmic sonic video I've seen in years. This game looks better than I thought it would be. At the end of the video he runs super fast so you critics can't say he runs slow.
...... I can only hope kids realize the kind of relentlessly retarded crap they spewed and repent, just like I did.

Now, for the "gameplay" vids... environments look samey (although they haven't showed many of them), control looks shitty as per the usual motion detection-based Wii crap, and "searching and replacing" Sonic stuff for something else in order to provide an illusion of novelty or some shit is probably a sign of things to come, further transforming and disfiguring Sonic until his games are unrecognizable from your everyday DreamWorks' movie mediocre platformer.

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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by gr4yJ4Y »

I don't know what to think of this thing at this point. The level looks better than those shown before, though not that great. The gameplay looks like just as promised - Secret Rings with a sword. That boss battle was terrible like none other.

As for the Monsters vs. Aliens movie, I saw a trailer for the game and thought the premise and character designs seemed really well done for an unheard of Wii game. Then I saw it was based on a movie and most of my hope faded.

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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by Wombatwarlord777 »

Ritz wrote:
That boss battle was absolutely stunning. The docile dragon inquisitively sways his head in Sonic's general direction; Sonic, fueled with furious indignation towards his overtly curious demeanor, feverishly (Albeit inaccurately) slashes at the beast, who seldom gives any indication of irritation, until he finally gets tired of his shit and flies off. Compelling narrative!
The boss battle video makes me appreciate the Final Hazard fight. Because Biolizard had the fucking Eclipse Canon up his ass, at least he had a legitimate reason for staying in the same fucking place.

Oh, and fuck those yellow ring fairies.

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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

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Ngangbius
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by Ngangbius »

Update to the official site:
http://www.sega.com/sonicblackknight/us/index.html

If you click on Papercraft there is a picture of Silver as a knight.

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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by Kogen »

The poster of Wonderboy gave me a boner.

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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by P.P.A. »

Kogen wrote:The poster of Wonderboy gave me a boner.
And the crates hiding it say "Alex Kidd Imports". Awesome.

Oh, and there's a sign saying "Golden Axe Fun". And one with "Shining Force Delivery"!

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Kogen
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by Kogen »

I saw the kid dressed as Silver, boner gone.

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Yami CJMErl
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by Yami CJMErl »

Story on the website wrote:Sonic is drawn into the rich, colorful world of King Arthur's Camelot by the granddaughter of the legendary wizard Merlin who asks him to harness the power of a sacred sword.
. . .

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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Post by Delphine »

The legendary king and ruler of Camelot, King Arthur has been corrupted by ~mysterious~ forces and now rules as a tyrant over the tainted land. His enchanted sword has been transformed by evil, becoming Deathcalibur. With his army of minions, he appears unstoppable until a certain blue hedgehog arrives.

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