Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Recent happenings of pertinence to Sonic fans.

Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby Ritz » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:24 pm

Image

Have you... Have any of you guys ever experienced an inverse erection before?
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby hedgepig » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:30 pm

This is a real surprise and it doesn't bother me like wolfhog does. What are they going to do with Sonic next?
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby P.P.A. » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:39 pm

What.

WHAT.


I have to say while that render does look badass, giving Sonic a weapon of whatever kind is so damn out of character it's not even funny anymore. HE'S NATURE. HE FIGHTS WITH ONLY HIS BODY. DAMMIT.
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby RocketPunch » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:40 pm

I don't get it. So there's the game with the werewolf, the one that's an RPG, and now one with a sword? Or does he have a sword in the RPG? I haven't been paying attention.

WHAT DOES IT MEEEEAAAAAN
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby Rob-Bert » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:42 pm

How many goddamn games do they have in the works? No wonder they have such a short time to finish Unleashed!

EDIT: Is anybody but me reminded of the "Sword of Acorn" arc from the Archie comics after looking at this?
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby Radrappy » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:45 pm

WHAT THE FFFFFUUUUUUCKKKKK WHAT THE FUUUUUCKKKKKK

WILLL THE PAIN NEVER END????!!!
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby Rob-Bert » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:47 pm

Now that I think of it, they seem to have probed Zeta's brain. He was the one who came up with the idea for a Sonic game set in medieval times once Secret Rings was released, was he not?
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby Yami CJMErl » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:48 pm

Holy crap, the sad fact is I really should have seen this coming.

Last month's issue of NP had this really wierd image with a glowing sword and the top of a blue thing, and I thought to myself, "Hey, that looks like the whole Uekawa coloring style", but I didn't think much of it.

And yet this hits me like a ton of fucking bricks.
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby Ritz » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:49 pm

hedgepig wrote:This is a real surprise and it doesn't bother me like wolfhog does. What are they going to do with Sonic next?

I honestly don't see where they possibly could go after this, as giving Sonic a sword has always been the most blatantly homosexual thing any man could ever do with the series. This sort of stuff has always been exclusive to the realm of fanfics, and I'd have never imagined in my wildest guro fantasies that this sort of schlock would ever diffuse into the series proper.

I really, really don't know how the franchise could stoop any lower. They could churn out a blatant gay sex sim, and even that wouldn't come close- the concept isn't nearly as pretentious. I'm going to be driving myself up a wall all day trying to find some way to personally top this.
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby hedgepig » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:51 pm

How can the new wiimote addon enhance Sonic gameplay?

How about giving Sonic a sword?
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby j-man » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:53 pm

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby Rob-Bert » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:53 pm

Ritz wrote:I honestly don't see where they possibly could go after this, as giving Sonic a sword has always been the most blatantly homosexual thing any man could ever do with the series. This sort of stuff has always been exclusive to the realm of fanfics, and I'd have never imagined in my wildest guro fantasies that this sort of schlock would ever diffuse into the series proper.

I really, really don't know how the franchise could stoop any lower. They could churn out a blatant gay sex sim, and even that wouldn't come close- the concept isn't nearly as pretentious. I'm going to be driving myself up a wall all day trying to find some way to personally top this.


Somebody's homophobic...
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby P.P.A. » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:55 pm

j-man wrote:WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT

KNIIIIIIIIIIGHTS
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby MiraiTails » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:57 pm

j-man wrote:WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT


Seconded.

Assuming this isn't some joke post, anyone have the image and care to repost it?
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby P.P.A. » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:58 pm

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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby FlashTHD » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:59 pm

Christ in heaven. Can I safely assume most of you have carefully dismissed the possibility that this is some kind of wild fake-out? I want to have my turn tearing this render apart, but I hate being had more than anything. (Maybe not after this...)
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby j-man » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:59 pm

Uh oh! A new Sonic game! Negativity, etc
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby Yami CJMErl » Sat Jul 19, 2008 3:00 pm

FlashTHD wrote:Christ in heaven. Can I safely assume most of you have carefully dismissed the possibility that this is some kind of wild fake-out? I want to have my turn tearing this render apart, but I hate being had more than anything. (Maybe not after this...)

Trust me, that's a real NP cover. It fits the "COMING SOON" bit from the last issue, too.
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby MiraiTails » Sat Jul 19, 2008 3:02 pm

lol
Fuck you too, Sega, fuck you too.
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby P.P.A. » Sat Jul 19, 2008 3:09 pm

KNIIIIIIGHTS
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby j-man » Sat Jul 19, 2008 3:11 pm

...it starts.

Right then. See you guys in a few years. I'm off to live in a cave somewhere, so I never have to read another preemptive whinefest about this fucking franchise ever again.
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby Ritz » Sat Jul 19, 2008 3:14 pm

Rob-Bert wrote:Somebody's homophobic...

No, I love gay people. Like Zeta. Zeta's gay, and I like Zeta.

He's still pretty gay, though.

FlashTHD wrote:Christ in heaven. Can I safely assume most of you have carefully dismissed the possibility that this is some kind of wild fake-out? I want to have my turn tearing this render apart, but I hate being had more than anything. (Maybe not after this...)

When will you people come to terms with the fact that there isn't a single goddamn person in the community who can model with that level of skill?
Last edited by Ritz on Sat Jul 19, 2008 3:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby P.P.A. » Sat Jul 19, 2008 3:16 pm

j-man wrote:...it starts.

Right then. See you guys in a few years. I'm off to live in a cave somewhere, so I never have to read another preemptive whinefest about this fucking franchise ever again.

It's dangerous to go alone, take this SWORD
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby Segaholic2 » Sat Jul 19, 2008 3:18 pm

Good grief.
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Re: Sonic and the Quest for Phallic Compensation

Postby MiraiTails » Sat Jul 19, 2008 3:20 pm

j-man wrote:...it starts.

Right then. See you guys in a few years. I'm off to live in a cave somewhere, so I never have to read another preemptive whinefest about this fucking franchise ever again.


I hear what you're saying man, but, come on, how is anybody supposed to be optimistic?
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