A joke

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Ritz
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Re: A joke

Post by Ritz »

gr4yJ4Y wrote:Oh wow, you definitely didn't.

Is that supposed to be Dr. Cox?
Grant Kelly, the Monsquaz man. He'll elevate you to levels of sexual enchantment heretofore unattainable by man. Then he'll bring you down, just for the hell of it. It's a wild ride.

I remember when this was still uproariously funny to me. Now, it only ever evokes a tender, nostalgic smile. I am so fucking dead inside.

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Ritz
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Re: A joke

Post by Ritz »

How would a vasectomy affect a gay man's sex life?

It wouldn't make a vas deferens.

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Green Gibbon!
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Re: A joke

Post by Green Gibbon! »

I have a friend who always drops his coins.

He just can't handle change.

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Re: A joke

Post by P.P.A. »

I’m… Impressed. That was one of the worst puns I’ve ever heard.

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Re: A joke

Post by Green Gibbon! »

It was actually an accident! I myself have butterfingers when it comes to dealing with pocket change - I habitually fumble trying to get coins into and out of my pocket and inevitably drop a few on the ground, which is what happened today at the supermarket. I thought to myself, "Man, I just can't handle change." The joke didn't occur to me until afterwards.

I'm so good I pun subconsciously!

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Re: A joke

Post by Jogurt »

I actually laughed a little at this thread.

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Re: A joke

Post by G.Silver »

Image

I didn't want to make a new thread for this but I also didn't know where to put it. This is from a generic Sega CD strategy guide from back when they still made that kind of thing (source). The first line in the second paragraph on "General Strategies" is all you need to see.

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Re: A joke

Post by Delphine »

That sentence starts out amusing and only gets better at the end. Someone was getting bored with writing this thing.

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Re: A joke

Post by Dr. BUGMAN »

Why did Leonard Nimoy decline an offer to endorse a brand of cereal?

Because a spoonful of Vulcan Os is most illogical

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Re: A joke

Post by Crazy Penguin »

Image

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Re: A joke

Post by Jingles »

So a horse walks into a bar and the barkeep says "Why the long face?".

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Re: A joke

Post by Popcorn »

Have you guys heard about that new Jonny Depp movie? He plays a pie salesman whose wares fluctuate in cost depending on the car he's driving.

It's called The Pie Rates of the Car I Be In.

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Re: A joke

Post by j-man »

So I went orienteering last week, and it took absolutely ages. Who knew that China was so big?
Went into a shop to buy some pencils and notepads and stuff. The bloke behind the counter wouldn't move an inch, because he was selling stationary.
I get really paranoid from smoking weed. Someone called me a wanker last week, and I keep thinking "Shit, how did he know?"

Yeah, I do stand-up. I'm obviously very successful.

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Re: A joke

Post by Wombatwarlord777 »

Try reading this one out loud:

So, there are these two fundamentalist Mormons. One of them has three wives and the other only one.

"Why do you only have one wife?" the one Mormon says to the other.

"Well, I'd have more," says the other, "but I'm afraid that'd be big of me."

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Post by Senbei »


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Re: A joke

Post by Wombatwarlord777 »

Drat. And here I thought I was being original and at least fairly amusing.

This dampens my entire day.

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Re: A joke

Post by Jingles »

Sonic the hedgehog is my roll model.

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Ritz
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Re: A joke

Post by Ritz »

Image

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Re: A joke

Post by Wombatwarlord777 »

I slew a band of trolls the other day. It was so easy to do. The whole lot were such mediogre fighters.

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Malchik
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Re: A joke

Post by Malchik »

Wombatwarlord777 wrote:I slew a band of trolls the other day. It was so easy to do. The whole lot were such mediogre fighters.
That pun only works if we assume trolls and ogres are the same creature. I say this because any middle earth fanbabby will use your skin to decorate the walls of the hobby shop.

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Jingles
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Re: A joke

Post by Jingles »

What did the elephant say to the elephant hunter?

Please don't kill me for my ivory.

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Re: A joke

Post by Wombatwarlord777 »

Malchik wrote:That pun only works if we assume trolls and ogres are the same creature. I say this because any middle earth fanbabby will use your skin to decorate the walls of the hobby shop.
I thought that the subjects in puns only had to be at least vaguely related and sound similar, like the succession of Nazi puns above.

Nevertheless, I will be on the lookout for overweight, sweaty, angry paladins in my area. Thanks for the heads up!

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Re: A joke

Post by Majestic Joey »

two jokes:

you know you're a red neck if you think dog food smells pretty good but you know you're filipino if you ate your dog. (I'm filipino so this makes it ok, maybe?)

what do you call a sour assistant?

A lemonade.

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Jingles
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Re: A joke

Post by Jingles »

Hey kids? Want to hear a joke?


Playstation 3!


Hilarious!

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Re: A joke

Post by Farmer »

The bartender replies "Sorry, we don't serve particles that travel faster than light". A neutrino walks into a bar.

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