A joke

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Bo
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Re: A joke

Post by Bo »

It's business as usual for a bartender, and one day as he is cleaning his bar when an unusual customer walks in. The man is dressed in an expensive suit, has a beautiful supermodel hanging off each arm, and has a limo parked outside. Furthermore, the man has an orange for a head.

The customer sits down at the bar and orders everyone a drink. He pays for it from a roll of hundreds and manages to get the attention of every woman in the joint, despite having an orange for a head.

The bartender is not a man to pry, but he feels compelled to ask about this man's life.

"Excuse me," says the bartender, "I can't help but notice that you're obviously fabulously wealthy and irresistable to women, but you have an orange for a head. How did that happen?"

So the man told his story.

"A while back, when I was penniless, I was walking along the beach and saw an old lamp, half buried in the sand. I picked it up and gave it a clean, and POOF! out popped a genie. The genie explained that he had been trapped in that lamp for two hundred years, and that he was so grateful to me for freeing him that he would give me three wishes.

"For my first wish I asked for an unlimited fortune. The genie said 'It is done!' and from then on, whenever I needed money, it was there.

"For my second wish I asked for the attention of all the most beautiful women in the world. The genie said it was done, and since then I have been able to get any woman I wanted.

"For my third wish -- and, this is the bit where I kinda fucked up -- I asked for an orange for a head."

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Re: A joke

Post by Locit »

Bo, this is the first time I will ever type this sincerely and with any amount of truth behind it: LOL.

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Green Gibbon!
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Re: A joke

Post by Green Gibbon! »

I don't get it.

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Locit
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Re: A joke

Post by Locit »

The joke leads you to expect some dumb pun on the word orange or something in his final wish to explain why he has an orange for a head, like most jokes of this type. Instead they punch it with the guy straight-up wishing for an orange for a head.

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Re: A joke

Post by Wombatwarlord777 »

Did you hear about the moneylender who charges ridiculously high interest rates? When his debtors inevitably default on their loans, he gleefully seizes their most valued possessions.

No wonder he has such a reputation for being accrual.

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Re: A joke

Post by Green Gibbon! »

Those jokes are gay. The nunchucks were way funnier.

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Re: A joke

Post by Locit »

Once I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.

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Re: A joke

Post by Crazy Penguin »

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhino?

'ell if I know.

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Re: A joke

Post by j-man »

What do you call a black man flying an aeroplane?

The pilot, you racist.

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Jingles
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Re: A joke

Post by Jingles »

A Sandwich walks into a bar. Barkeep says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

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Re: A joke

Post by Crowbar »

Venison's dear, isn't it?

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Re: A joke

Post by j-man »

Exit signs: they're on the way out, aren't they?

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Jingles
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Re: A joke

Post by Jingles »

A cow walks into a bar. She says, "Moo."

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Re: A joke

Post by Locit »

Why does no one in Honolulu need a dentist? Because ha wa ii.

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Re: A joke

Post by G.Silver »

Ugh. :mad:

So, do Japanese people tell that one?

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Re: A joke

Post by Green Gibbon! »

As soon as I hear that one, I'm leaving.

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Locit
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Re: A joke

Post by Locit »

G.Silver wrote:Ugh. :mad:

So, do Japanese people tell that one?
Japanese students I hate and who have obnoxious laughs tell that one.

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Re: A joke

Post by Crowbar »

Goddammit, I spent about a minute staring at that wondering if it was even a joke at all.

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Popcorn
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Re: A joke

Post by Popcorn »

I spent quite a long time in a bar in Shibuya trying to teach a girl named Yuki about knock knock jokes.

Me: Knock knock.
Yuki: Who's there?
Me: Boo.
Yuki: Boo who?
Me: There's no need to cry.
Yuki: ???

Then I had to explain that 'boo hoo' meant crying.

So then we tried flipping it, which backfired:

Yuki: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Yuki: Yuki.
Me: Yuki who?
Yuki: Yukiboo?

Yukiboo is a super kawaii name.

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Re: A joke

Post by Locit »

It... it's pretty kawaii, yeah.

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Re: A joke

Post by Delphine »

Three cats are competing in a race. There's an American cat named "one two three", a German cat named "ein zwei drei", and a French cat named "un deux trois". The cats all swim across a lake. The American cat finishes first, the German cat finishes second, but the French cat is nowhere to be found.

Why?

Because the un deux trois quatre cinq.

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Re: A joke

Post by Green Gibbon! »

What's the stinkiest number?

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Re: A joke

Post by Green Gibbon! »

Give up?

40

I thought of this at work today and was giggling in the copy room like an 8-year old.

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Delphine
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Re: A joke

Post by Delphine »

I tried to figure out how the hell you pronounce forty to make it sound like farty and came to the conclusion that Southerners are nuts.

That or it went completely over my head.

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Popcorn
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Re: A joke

Post by Popcorn »

Delphine wrote:Three cats are competing in a race. There's an American cat named "one two three", a German cat named "ein zwei drei", and a French cat named "un deux trois".
The American cat is obviously supposed to be a British cat!!!!!!!

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