Hypothetical Sonic Adventure Remake

[Dr. BUGMAN]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

[Neo]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

[Kogen]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

[Shadow Hog]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

Which only serves to unlock Super Hard Mode.

[FlashTHD]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

Which only serves to unlock Super Hard Mode.

During which there is 40% chance of a system crash.

[Yash]

Cut every character except for Sonic.

Levels would be split into separate acts and extended accordingly (for example Emerald Coast Act 1 would be based off of the first part of the level, Act 2 would be based off of Windy and Ripply)

Sonic would be given bosses/levels from other characters' sagas (Egg Walker, Zero, Sand Hill, Hot Shelter etc.) to compensate for a shorter game.

In addition there would be new levels added, such as past and present versions of Angel Island (would be its own hub world containing Red Mountain, Icecap, and the AI levels), ruined Station Square (accessible through a disaster site area in SS).

The hub worlds would be reworked to be one continuous level, as opposed to loading each section separately.

Super Sonic's story would be merged with Sonic's.

There would be a mission mode with 50-ish missions for Sonic to complete, some borrowed from the GCN version, some new. The in-level missions (collect 50 rings etc.) would also be revamped to be more like the Unleashed hotdog missions (based on rings/enemies/time).

Hard modes of levels, playable Super Sonic/Metal Sonic in levels, and remakes of retro levels would be available after certain milestones.

Textures/physics etc. would be updated. Voices would be re-dubbed with a translation that doesn't suck.

Oh and at night Sonic would turn into Big the Cat.

[Baba O'Riley]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

Which only serves to unlock Super Hard Mode.

During which there is 40% chance of a system crash.

There is also now a giant bottomless pit that slowly sucks you in unless you keep moving to the left.

[Blount]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

Which only serves to unlock Super Hard Mode.

During which there is 40% chance of a system crash.

There is also now a giant bottomless pit that slowly sucks you in unless you keep moving to the left.

There are no Rings and you are surrounded by those star robots from Metropolis Zone.

[The Turtle Guy]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

Which only serves to unlock Super Hard Mode.

During which there is 40% chance of a system crash.

There is also now a giant bottomless pit that slowly sucks you in unless you keep moving to the left.

There are no Rings and you are surrounded by those star robots from Metropolis Zone.

NO ITEMS FOX ONLY FINAL DESTINATION

[Kogen]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

Which only serves to unlock Super Hard Mode.

During which there is 40% chance of a system crash.

There is also now a giant bottomless pit that slowly sucks you in unless you keep moving to the left.

There are no Rings and you are surrounded by those star robots from Metropolis Zone.

NO ITEMS FOX ONLY FINAL DESTINATION

Brawl jokes on the pyramid stains it.

So credits:

Producer - Nuji Yaka

Big the Hedgehog

Miles Power

And you as Megaman X!

[Neo]

So credits:

Producer - Nuji Yaka

Big the Hedgehog

Miles Power

And you as Megaman X!

[Crowbar]

Penis

And you as Megaman X!

Screw you I actually laughed.

[Hulkshmash]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

Which only serves to unlock Super Hard Mode.

During which there is 40% chance of a system crash.

There is also now a giant bottomless pit that slowly sucks you in unless you keep moving to the left.

There are no Rings and you are surrounded by those star robots from Metropolis Zone.

Some lame brawl joke

The camera controls constantly switch between uninverted and inverted y axis control.

[P.P.A.]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

Which only serves to unlock Super Hard Mode.

During which there is 40% chance of a system crash.

There is also now a giant bottomless pit that slowly sucks you in unless you keep moving to the left.

There are no Rings and you are surrounded by those star robots from Metropolis Zone.

Some lame brawl joke

The camera controls constantly switch between uninverted and inverted y axis control.

All the levels are thin walkways suspended above bottomless pits. You can move about one step to the right and left, then you fall of.

[Wombatwarlord777]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

Which only serves to unlock Super Hard Mode.

During which there is 40% chance of a system crash.

There is also now a giant bottomless pit that slowly sucks you in unless you keep moving to the left.

There are no Rings and you are surrounded by those star robots from Metropolis Zone.

Some lame brawl joke

The camera controls constantly switch between uninverted and inverted y axis control.

All the levels are thin walkways suspended above bottomless pits. You can move about one step to the right and left, then you fall of.

But wait! Here's the best part! There's chao! And raising them is mandatory to progress through the story! And then, at the very end, they all turn on you as a series of ball-bustingly tedious end-bosses!

[Wombatwarlord777]

...And all your small animal friends? They try to kill you too.

[gr4yJ4Y]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

Which only serves to unlock Super Hard Mode.

During which there is 40% chance of a system crash.

There is also now a giant bottomless pit that slowly sucks you in unless you keep moving to the left.

There are no Rings and you are surrounded by those star robots from Metropolis Zone.

Some lame brawl joke

The camera controls constantly switch between uninverted and inverted y axis control.

All the levels are thin walkways suspended above bottomless pits. You can move about one step to the right and left, then you fall of.

But wait! Here's the best part! There's chao! And raising them is mandatory to progress through the story! And then, at the very end, they all turn on you as a series of ball-bustingly tedious end-bosses!

There's an invisible trigger in the chao garden that causes all platforms to become invisible for the rest of the game.

[Brazillian Cara]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

Which only serves to unlock Super Hard Mode.

During which there is 40% chance of a system crash.

There is also now a giant bottomless pit that slowly sucks you in unless you keep moving to the left.

There are no Rings and you are surrounded by those star robots from Metropolis Zone.

Some lame brawl joke

The camera controls constantly switch between uninverted and inverted y axis control.

All the levels are thin walkways suspended above bottomless pits. You can move about one step to the right and left, then you fall of.

But wait! Here's the best part! There's chao! And raising them is mandatory to progress through the story! And then, at the very end, they all turn on you as a series of ball-bustingly tedious end-bosses!

There's an invisible trigger in the chao garden that causes all platforms to become invisible for the rest of the game.

Each stage has a time limit of 3 minutes, and no save points.

[G.Silver]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

Which only serves to unlock Super Hard Mode.

During which there is 40% chance of a system crash.

There is also now a giant bottomless pit that slowly sucks you in unless you keep moving to the left.

There are no Rings and you are surrounded by those star robots from Metropolis Zone.

Some lame brawl joke

The camera controls constantly switch between uninverted and inverted y axis control.

All the levels are thin walkways suspended above bottomless pits. You can move about one step to the right and left, then you fall of.

But wait! Here's the best part! There's chao! And raising them is mandatory to progress through the story! And then, at the very end, they all turn on you as a series of ball-bustingly tedious end-bosses!

There's an invisible trigger in the chao garden that causes all platforms to become invisible for the rest of the game.

Each stage has a time limit of 3 minutes, and no save points.

Each stage has no time limit, but takes at least 10 minutes of tedious slogging to finish and there are no save points.

[Kogen]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

Which only serves to unlock Super Hard Mode.

During which there is 40% chance of a system crash.

There is also now a giant bottomless pit that slowly sucks you in unless you keep moving to the left.

There are no Rings and you are surrounded by those star robots from Metropolis Zone.

Some lame brawl joke

The camera controls constantly switch between uninverted and inverted y axis control.

All the levels are thin walkways suspended above bottomless pits. You can move about one step to the right and left, then you fall of.

But wait! Here's the best part! There's chao! And raising them is mandatory to progress through the story! And then, at the very end, they all turn on you as a series of ball-bustingly tedious end-bosses!

There's an invisible trigger in the chao garden that causes all platforms to become invisible for the rest of the game.

Each stage has a time limit of 3 minutes, and no save points.

Each stage has no time limit, but takes at least 10 minutes of tedious slogging to finish and there are no save points.

It is just one stage with no time limit, but takes at least 45 minutes of tedious slogging to finish and there are holes everywhere. Fall down once and you lose your S Rank (reality is worse!).

[P.P.A.]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

Which only serves to unlock Super Hard Mode.

During which there is 40% chance of a system crash.

There is also now a giant bottomless pit that slowly sucks you in unless you keep moving to the left.

There are no Rings and you are surrounded by those star robots from Metropolis Zone.

Some lame brawl joke

The camera controls constantly switch between uninverted and inverted y axis control.

All the levels are thin walkways suspended above bottomless pits. You can move about one step to the right and left, then you fall of.

But wait! Here's the best part! There's chao! And raising them is mandatory to progress through the story! And then, at the very end, they all turn on you as a series of ball-bustingly tedious end-bosses!

There's an invisible trigger in the chao garden that causes all platforms to become invisible for the rest of the game.

Each stage has a time limit of 3 minutes, and no save points.

Each stage has no time limit, but takes at least 10 minutes of tedious slogging to finish and there are no save points.

It is just one stage with no time limit, but takes at least 45 minutes of tedious slogging to finish and there are holes everywhere. Fall down once and you lose your S Rank (reality is worse!).

To get an S rank you need to kill every enemy in the game and collect 80% of all rings and keep them until the end of the stage. The time you take doesn't affect the result at all, and if you get hit once your score is reset to 0.

[Dr. BUGMAN]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

Which only serves to unlock Super Hard Mode.

During which there is 40% chance of a system crash.

There is also now a giant bottomless pit that slowly sucks you in unless you keep moving to the left.

There are no Rings and you are surrounded by those star robots from Metropolis Zone.

Some lame brawl joke

The camera controls constantly switch between uninverted and inverted y axis control.

All the levels are thin walkways suspended above bottomless pits. You can move about one step to the right and left, then you fall of.

But wait! Here's the best part! There's chao! And raising them is mandatory to progress through the story! And then, at the very end, they all turn on you as a series of ball-bustingly tedious end-bosses!

There's an invisible trigger in the chao garden that causes all platforms to become invisible for the rest of the game.

Each stage has a time limit of 3 minutes, and no save points.

Each stage has no time limit, but takes at least 10 minutes of tedious slogging to finish and there are no save points.

It is just one stage with no time limit, but takes at least 45 minutes of tedious slogging to finish and there are holes everywhere. Fall down once and you lose your S Rank (reality is worse!).

To get an S rank you need to kill every enemy in the game and collect 80% of all rings and keep them until the end of the stage. The time you take doesn't affect the result at all, and if you get hit once your score is reset to 0.

The solutions to objectives are esoteric and can only be uncovered by following a extremely long chain of links situated in pages of increasingly erotic fan art.

[Yash]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

Which only serves to unlock Super Hard Mode.

During which there is 40% chance of a system crash.

There is also now a giant bottomless pit that slowly sucks you in unless you keep moving to the left.

There are no Rings and you are surrounded by those star robots from Metropolis Zone.

Some lame brawl joke

The camera controls constantly switch between uninverted and inverted y axis control.

All the levels are thin walkways suspended above bottomless pits. You can move about one step to the right and left, then you fall of.

But wait! Here's the best part! There's chao! And raising them is mandatory to progress through the story! And then, at the very end, they all turn on you as a series of ball-bustingly tedious end-bosses!

There's an invisible trigger in the chao garden that causes all platforms to become invisible for the rest of the game.

Each stage has a time limit of 3 minutes, and no save points.

Each stage has no time limit, but takes at least 10 minutes of tedious slogging to finish and there are no save points.

It is just one stage with no time limit, but takes at least 45 minutes of tedious slogging to finish and there are holes everywhere. Fall down once and you lose your S Rank (reality is worse!).

To get an S rank you need to kill every enemy in the game and collect 80% of all rings and keep them until the end of the stage. The time you take doesn't affect the result at all, and if you get hit once your score is reset to 0.

The solutions to objectives are esoteric and can only be uncovered by following a extremely long chain of links situated in pages of increasingly erotic fan art.

The erotic fan art is of Cloud Strife and Garfield.

[G.Silver]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

Which only serves to unlock Super Hard Mode.

During which there is 40% chance of a system crash.

There is also now a giant bottomless pit that slowly sucks you in unless you keep moving to the left.

There are no Rings and you are surrounded by those star robots from Metropolis Zone.

Some lame brawl joke

The camera controls constantly switch between uninverted and inverted y axis control.

All the levels are thin walkways suspended above bottomless pits. You can move about one step to the right and left, then you fall of.

But wait! Here's the best part! There's chao! And raising them is mandatory to progress through the story! And then, at the very end, they all turn on you as a series of ball-bustingly tedious end-bosses!

There's an invisible trigger in the chao garden that causes all platforms to become invisible for the rest of the game.

Each stage has a time limit of 3 minutes, and no save points.

Each stage has no time limit, but takes at least 10 minutes of tedious slogging to finish and there are no save points.

It is just one stage with no time limit, but takes at least 45 minutes of tedious slogging to finish and there are holes everywhere. Fall down once and you lose your S Rank (reality is worse!).

To get an S rank you need to kill every enemy in the game and collect 80% of all rings and keep them until the end of the stage. The time you take doesn't affect the result at all, and if you get hit once your score is reset to 0.

The solutions to objectives are esoteric and can only be uncovered by following a extremely long chain of links situated in pages of increasingly erotic fan art.

The erotic fan art is of Cloud Strife and Garfield.

Quoting too much text causes a game crashing error.

[gr4yJ4Y]

Off the top of my head, Big could waddle through the turent section of Sky Deck in his efforts to escape the Egg Carrier.

This is the worst idea ever.

Big must fight three bosses.

Under water.

While carrying rocks.

Big has to fish.
(Am I doing it right?)

Through a series of QTE.

Failing which will kill you instantly.

On a moving platform that does not move you with it.

Holding the jump button while touching the ceiling makes you stick to it.

If you break free then your fishing rod stays jammed in the ceiling.

pyramIIIIIIIIIIIIID

The scripted movement failed and you fell down the hole. Try again.

It was your last life, so now you have to sit through the unskippable 30 minute cut scene again.

Starring only Big and Froggy.

Who must acquire the Seven Sapphires of Disarray before they're snatched by Ernie, the world's most diabolical fly-fisherman.

What? I'm not allowed to poke fun at my own unholy abomination?

Who's really not the final boss, as he resurrects the thunder elemental creature (who looks mean and has a few tentacles here and there) for a final battle in which froggy and Big both have to become super. However, this can only be accessed if you beat the game as Big, Froggy, Big's fishing rod, Big's left ear, The water Big fishes in, Big again, and the day in the life of an NPC.

And everything is mapped to the same button!

Each of the aforementioned characters speak, and they're all voiced by Jason Griffith.

The end?

Get all Chaos hooks!

Which only serves to unlock Super Hard Mode.

During which there is 40% chance of a system crash.

There is also now a giant bottomless pit that slowly sucks you in unless you keep moving to the left.

There are no Rings and you are surrounded by those star robots from Metropolis Zone.

Some lame brawl joke

The camera controls constantly switch between uninverted and inverted y axis control.

All the levels are thin walkways suspended above bottomless pits. You can move about one step to the right and left, then you fall of.

But wait! Here's the best part! There's chao! And raising them is mandatory to progress through the story! And then, at the very end, they all turn on you as a series of ball-bustingly tedious end-bosses!

There's an invisible trigger in the chao garden that causes all platforms to become invisible for the rest of the game.

Each stage has a time limit of 3 minutes, and no save points.

Each stage has no time limit, but takes at least 10 minutes of tedious slogging to finish and there are no save points.

It is just one stage with no time limit, but takes at least 45 minutes of tedious slogging to finish and there are holes everywhere. Fall down once and you lose your S Rank (reality is worse!).

To get an S rank you need to kill every enemy in the game and collect 80% of all rings and keep them until the end of the stage. The time you take doesn't affect the result at all, and if you get hit once your score is reset to 0.

The solutions to objectives are esoteric and can only be uncovered by following a extremely long chain of links situated in pages of increasingly erotic fan art.

The erotic fan art is of Cloud Strife and Garfield.

Quoting too much text causes a game crashing error.

Which brings you to the credits and unlocks everything.