Dear Lord, what is this world coming to?!

Ecco · Post by **Ecco** » Mon Jun 19, 2006 3:56 pm

Has anybody heard about this?

http://www.agonybooth.com/agonizer/arti ... Id=0000006

So, apparently, he's so desperate to throw his name around that he's now endorsing his own energy drink? By this person's account, it tastes absolutely disgusting. Man, what will they think of next?

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Mon Jun 19, 2006 4:06 pm

Is it made from freshly squeezed Steven Segals?

Locit · Post by **Locit** » Mon Jun 19, 2006 4:22 pm

It sounds like it's made of 400% real juice! And is he actually wearing a cutoff sleeve Chinese shirt in the first photo, or am I looking at it wrong or something?

While reading this topic I was struck by this question:
If Drano made an energy drink, would you buy it?

FlashTHD · Post by **FlashTHD** » Mon Jun 19, 2006 5:56 pm

It took a third sip for me to really identify what was so awful about this drink: It has the distinct flavor of cigarettes. Seriously, this stuff tastes like Steven Seagal himself put out his cigarette in this very can. I kept peeking inside the mouth hole to see if I could spot one floating around down there.

I burst into hysterical laughter at that point, and it kept on rolling until the end. I'm bookmarking that site.

Years ago when I was in the Boy Scouts, it was towards the end of a camping trip when the leaders handed out Cliff bars to all the scouts as some reward for hard work or something such and such, I forget. It was some peanut butter or chocolate flavor, so I opened it and took one bite. God, I wanted to spit it out, drop the bar, and stomp it into the ground after the fourth chew. My mind was screaming that it tasted exactly like dog food. Er, naturally I wouldn't know the taste of dog food, but I was absolutely certain that's what it was. I still am.

The best part was that everyone in my troop (and several adults present) unanimously agreed. Thankfully, for the sake of my digestive system, I didn't go one bite farther than that.

The Doc · Post by **The Doc** » Mon Jun 19, 2006 6:11 pm

Show of hands: Who here thinks we'll be seeing Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt on Fear Factor? Replacing the 100-year-old egg.

Post by **Delphine** » Mon Jun 19, 2006 8:32 pm

Locit wrote:If Drano made an energy drink, would you buy it?

I thought Drano <i>was</i> an energy drink.

Baba O'Reily · Post by **Baba O'Reily** » Mon Jun 19, 2006 9:08 pm

I've actually routinely buy Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt.

I use it as an antiseptic and also use it to clear out drains in the household.

Post by **Squirrelknight** » Mon Jun 19, 2006 10:40 pm

Meh, I'm still waiting for Van Damme's Cherry-Lime Split Kick.

Wooduck51 · Post by **Wooduck51** » Tue Jun 20, 2006 8:07 am

I have an uncontrollable urge to go buy some and try it.

And when does the Chuck Norris Raspberry Round-house hit the markets?

Ecco · Post by **Ecco** » Tue Jun 20, 2006 8:16 am

Zeta wrote:Is it made from freshly squeezed Steven Segals?

I'm not sure, but I know it's not made from freshly squeezed Ayako Fujitanis. For the uninitiated, Ayako Fujitani is his daughter from his frist wife Miyako Fujitani.

And here's her profile, in Japanese, at japanmusic:
http://www.japanmusic.jp/archives/2005/ ... itani.html

You can see her in the '90's Gamera movies, Pyrokinesis (cameo), Shikijitsu, and Ikusa.

I'd sure like to give her a fresh squeeze, if you know what I'm saying

j-man · Post by **j-man** » Tue Jun 20, 2006 9:41 am

I'd just like to shag her.

Omni Hunter · Post by **Omni Hunter** » Tue Jun 20, 2006 11:06 am

I have a sudden reason to watch Gamera movies other than watching a turtle fly.

Ecco · Post by **Ecco** » Tue Jun 20, 2006 12:10 pm

Omni Hunter wrote:I have a sudden reason to watch Gamera movies other than watching a turtle fly.

The titles of the ones she's in are Gamera: Guardian of the Universe, Gamera 2: Attack of Legion, and Gamera 3: Revenge of Iris. The region 1 DVD's are disributed by ADV, and all contain the Japanese language track with English subtitles.