The New Commandments
Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 10:13 pm
I have long avoided posting a strict set of guidelines for the forum because I don't want to be anyone's fucking nanny. I think you should be able to post whatever you want as long as you observe a certain level of common sense and common courtesy. Unfortunately, it has become increasingly apparent that most people - or at least the ones who choose to post here - do not possess these cognitive facilities. As such, in order to maintain a certain level of integrity, I've compiled a list of posting guidelines that will henceforth be enforced.
First, a recap of the original forum rules. Enforcement up to this point has been extremely lax, but the anarchist regime is over:
Proper grammar is a requirement.
We're not English majors (well, most of us aren't), so you won't be chastised for misspelling and occasional grammatical errors. But you should make an honest attempt at writing coherent sentences with proper capitalization and at least basic punctuation. Sentences that lack structure are an eyesore and difficult to read. Such posts will be deleted even if your topic is relevant, because there isn't anyone here who will have the patience to interpret your bastardization of the language. (Leniency will be shown on non-native speakers so long as they appear to know what the hell they're talking about.)
Do not start a topic to introduce yourself.
In the physical world, it's common courtesy to state your name and your business when meeting new people. In the lawless land of anarchy that is the internet, it's generally more acceptable to worm your way into a community gradually through active participation. Threads containing introductory messages and nothing else ("hi, I'm new and I'll be posting here from now on") will be deleted.
Spam: it's not just for lunch (but it should be).
If you have something to say, go for it. If you do not have something to say, don't say anything. It's simple. The conflict occurs when people think they have something to say, but actually don't. When they give in to these misguided urges, the result is spam.
I admit that rule #3 regarding spam is particularly vague because that's a very broad subject. However, based on observations of this forum, I've pinpointed some recurring problems. I won't toss names around (yet), but a quick glance over the resulting commandments should tell you whether or not you're an offender:
Thou shalt not reference outside material without posting thoughts of thy own.
A firsthand opinion is always better than something that you read somewhere else, and if you're citing an outside article to answer a question, maybe you don't really have the answer and should refrain from posting. If you choose to reference an outside review, it is absolutely forbidden to mention a numeric score. No "Game Informer gave it a 67%" or "IGN gave it an 8.3", or "Famitsu gave it a 7, 7, 7, 9." This is not information. Citing specific comments from the article is fine, but do not cut and paste the entirety, or even direct link to it unless you have an argument or commentary that consists of more than an ambiguous approval or disagreement.
Thou shalt not post one-line reviews.
If you're going to create a new thread to discuss a game / movie / album / comic that you liked, make sure you actually discuss the media in question. No "this movie kicks ass, you all need to watch it." If that's really all you have to say, post your singular thought on Amazon's customer review list.
Thou shalt not feed the trolls.
Make use of the "Ignore" button. If you read a post that is irrelevant, it will be deleted by a moderator. If you feel it necessary to waste additional space by voicing your disapproval of the message in question, it will also be deleted. Likewise, do not un-ignore a user only to re-ignore him and create an additional message to let everyone know that you went through this process.
Thou shalt not use the forum as thy personal blog.
Do not start a thread to discuss recent events from your personal life. Relevant quips and/or amusing anecdotes are welcome, but if you're just going to babble about what you did over the weekend or boo-hoo over your lost love, take it somewhere else. This isn't a teen hotline.
Thou shalt not link to webcomics in place of a reply.
Absolutely no linking to individual webcomic strips, regardless of how relevant they may be to the conversation.
Thou shalt not link to flash movies.
Absolutely no linking to flash movies of any kind, regardless of how funny or clever you think the clip in question is.
Thou shalt not advertise thy shit.
"Shit" in this context can refer, but is not limited to, any of the following articles: website, webcomic, fan game, fan art, fanfic, blog, or eBay auction. If you have work that you'd like critique on, there is a long-standing forum topic for that purpose. (If there's enough demand for it, a separate critique board may be established down the line.)
Thou shalt not state the bloody fucking obvious.
In the name of all that is intelligent and right with the world, do not ever use the phrase "in my opinion," "in my humble opinion," "in my personal opinion," or any of the acronyms used to represent such verbiage. We know it's your goddamn opinion.
Thou shalt be relevant, amusing, or silent.
You do not have to reply to every single thread. If you have no relevant or at least amusing observations to bring to the table, just don't post anything. Note that a simple "yeah, that's so true" or "I heard that game sucked" does not constitute a relevant observation. A general rule of thumb is to look at the length of your message: if it consists of one sentence or less, think twice before hitting "post reply".
That list isn't all-inclusive, and articles will be added or removed as needed. All commandments will be enforced based on the judgment of whichever moderator happens to review your post - and your post will likely be reviewed by a large number of moderators. If you find that your messages are frequently deleted, it probably means that you're an idiot, in which case there are hundreds - nay, thousands - of other online message boards you can migrate to.
First, a recap of the original forum rules. Enforcement up to this point has been extremely lax, but the anarchist regime is over:
Proper grammar is a requirement.
We're not English majors (well, most of us aren't), so you won't be chastised for misspelling and occasional grammatical errors. But you should make an honest attempt at writing coherent sentences with proper capitalization and at least basic punctuation. Sentences that lack structure are an eyesore and difficult to read. Such posts will be deleted even if your topic is relevant, because there isn't anyone here who will have the patience to interpret your bastardization of the language. (Leniency will be shown on non-native speakers so long as they appear to know what the hell they're talking about.)
Do not start a topic to introduce yourself.
In the physical world, it's common courtesy to state your name and your business when meeting new people. In the lawless land of anarchy that is the internet, it's generally more acceptable to worm your way into a community gradually through active participation. Threads containing introductory messages and nothing else ("hi, I'm new and I'll be posting here from now on") will be deleted.
Spam: it's not just for lunch (but it should be).
If you have something to say, go for it. If you do not have something to say, don't say anything. It's simple. The conflict occurs when people think they have something to say, but actually don't. When they give in to these misguided urges, the result is spam.
I admit that rule #3 regarding spam is particularly vague because that's a very broad subject. However, based on observations of this forum, I've pinpointed some recurring problems. I won't toss names around (yet), but a quick glance over the resulting commandments should tell you whether or not you're an offender:
Thou shalt not reference outside material without posting thoughts of thy own.
A firsthand opinion is always better than something that you read somewhere else, and if you're citing an outside article to answer a question, maybe you don't really have the answer and should refrain from posting. If you choose to reference an outside review, it is absolutely forbidden to mention a numeric score. No "Game Informer gave it a 67%" or "IGN gave it an 8.3", or "Famitsu gave it a 7, 7, 7, 9." This is not information. Citing specific comments from the article is fine, but do not cut and paste the entirety, or even direct link to it unless you have an argument or commentary that consists of more than an ambiguous approval or disagreement.
Thou shalt not post one-line reviews.
If you're going to create a new thread to discuss a game / movie / album / comic that you liked, make sure you actually discuss the media in question. No "this movie kicks ass, you all need to watch it." If that's really all you have to say, post your singular thought on Amazon's customer review list.
Thou shalt not feed the trolls.
Make use of the "Ignore" button. If you read a post that is irrelevant, it will be deleted by a moderator. If you feel it necessary to waste additional space by voicing your disapproval of the message in question, it will also be deleted. Likewise, do not un-ignore a user only to re-ignore him and create an additional message to let everyone know that you went through this process.
Thou shalt not use the forum as thy personal blog.
Do not start a thread to discuss recent events from your personal life. Relevant quips and/or amusing anecdotes are welcome, but if you're just going to babble about what you did over the weekend or boo-hoo over your lost love, take it somewhere else. This isn't a teen hotline.
Thou shalt not link to webcomics in place of a reply.
Absolutely no linking to individual webcomic strips, regardless of how relevant they may be to the conversation.
Thou shalt not link to flash movies.
Absolutely no linking to flash movies of any kind, regardless of how funny or clever you think the clip in question is.
Thou shalt not advertise thy shit.
"Shit" in this context can refer, but is not limited to, any of the following articles: website, webcomic, fan game, fan art, fanfic, blog, or eBay auction. If you have work that you'd like critique on, there is a long-standing forum topic for that purpose. (If there's enough demand for it, a separate critique board may be established down the line.)
Thou shalt not state the bloody fucking obvious.
In the name of all that is intelligent and right with the world, do not ever use the phrase "in my opinion," "in my humble opinion," "in my personal opinion," or any of the acronyms used to represent such verbiage. We know it's your goddamn opinion.
Thou shalt be relevant, amusing, or silent.
You do not have to reply to every single thread. If you have no relevant or at least amusing observations to bring to the table, just don't post anything. Note that a simple "yeah, that's so true" or "I heard that game sucked" does not constitute a relevant observation. A general rule of thumb is to look at the length of your message: if it consists of one sentence or less, think twice before hitting "post reply".
That list isn't all-inclusive, and articles will be added or removed as needed. All commandments will be enforced based on the judgment of whichever moderator happens to review your post - and your post will likely be reviewed by a large number of moderators. If you find that your messages are frequently deleted, it probably means that you're an idiot, in which case there are hundreds - nay, thousands - of other online message boards you can migrate to.