I guess she needed the money

Post by **Green Gibbon!** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 7:40 pm

http://www.bb5.jp/pr/valis/

That's not a doujin game, it's a licensed product. It's even advertised prominently on the official <a href="http://www.telenet.co.jp/">[u]Telenet[/u]</a> website. (BB5 is apparently a subdivision of Telenet.)

I guess I can't blame her - the old girl's been out of work for the past decade at least, except for a couple of mobile remakes. I wonder how long it'll be before Falcom gives up Popful Mail to the seedy underworld of digital prostitution?

Incidentally, if anyone ever happens to stumble across this game for download, please do let me know immediately.

Baba O'Reily · Post by **Baba O'Reily** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 7:41 pm

MY WORLD IS A LIE

plasticwingsband · Post by **plasticwingsband** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:17 pm

I don't think I've played Valis enough to justify masturbating to it.

Baba O'Reily · Post by **Baba O'Reily** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:30 pm

plasticwingsband wrote:I don't think I've played Valis enough to justify masturbating to it.

I masturbated to Tales of Symphonia within an hour of buying it.

Light Speed · Post by **Light Speed** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:41 pm

Really? I'm currently playing Tales for the first time. I didn't masturbate to it until about 40 hours in.

plasticwingsband · Post by **plasticwingsband** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:58 pm

I just played Valis for 20 minutes and still feel no inclination to masturbate to it.

I would masturbate to ToS though 'cause that game is fun.

Brazillian Cara · Post by **Brazillian Cara** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 11:23 pm

Just... wow. That's pretty much how the series wasn't supposed to continue. I even feel a bit sorry for it.
But what is it, anyway? A plain-out hentai game or a spiced up adventure like the prequels?

Ngangbius · Post by **Ngangbius** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 12:35 am

If I was a big fan of the Valis franchise I would be screaming "AAAAARGH! WHYYYYYY!" right now. Luckily, I don't have that much of an attachement to those characters as I only played Syd of Valis and the first two levels Super Valis IV, but I can't help feel a bit disappointed.

Post by **Green Gibbon!** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 1:35 am

None of the Valis games are especially good or even memorable, but they had a cult following in the late 80's and early 90's.

The only thing that bothers me is that it looks like it may as well be a doujin game. I mean shit, if they're going to whore out the only quasi valuable franchise they've ever owned, they could at least make sure it gets some stand out artwork. I would even have gone so far as to give it the 80's anime look. But nay, I guess it's just a standard, C-grade porno game.

I guess I can also assume Sumi Shimamoto won't be returning to reprise her role as Yuko.

Kishi · Post by **Kishi** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 2:46 am

The original games were already filled with fanservice. This doesn't come as any more of a surprise than Gainax-made Eva porn.

Post by **Esrever** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 4:48 am

Gainax makes eva porn?

Brazillian Cara · Post by **Brazillian Cara** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 9:37 am

On a related subject, does anyone knows where I can find MP3s of the first game?

Locit · Post by **Locit** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 10:07 am

Gainax makes eva porn?

Post by **Delphine** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 11:14 am

Didn't one of the movies have the kid masturating? Is that what we're talking about here?

Post by **Green Gibbon!** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 12:49 pm

I remember the nudie calendars, but I thought that was it.

Brazillian Cara · Post by **Brazillian Cara** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 3:02 pm

Back on topic... what exactly does the ad says? I have the distinct feeling it is quite informal.

Post by **G.Silver** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 3:43 pm

It doesn't have much on it. Just "what new fate awaits Yuko?" and "At last, the return of Valis!" and such.

If this is successful, I wonder if they'd give El Viento the same treatment..

The T · Post by **The T** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 11:20 pm

Locit wrote:Gainax makes eva porn?

I recall a Strip Mah Jong game.

Kishi · Post by **Kishi** » Sun Mar 05, 2006 3:22 am

http://www.evastore.jp/index.cgi?rm=lis ... 0_software
http://www.evastore.jp/index.cgi?rm=lis ... =50_figure

Brazillian Cara · Post by **Brazillian Cara** » Sun Mar 05, 2006 8:54 am

I guess the concept of "fanservice" has reached the action figure market.

Tsuyoshi-kun · Post by **Tsuyoshi-kun** » Sun Mar 05, 2006 2:01 pm

I love it how Rei has more figures than the rest of the cast combined.

For the record, Evangelion kind of sucks, except for Misato.

Opa-Opa · Post by **Opa-Opa** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 12:01 am

Damn... I used to draw her until some years ago. I played all the Mega Drive games and then the SNes one, this is just sad and cheap. I really hope El Viento doesn't end up like this.

Anyway, download links are welcome please.

EDIT: Is she having sex with the sword there? That looks just... wrong...

Kishi · Post by **Kishi** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 3:31 am

What actually bothers me is that they've changed her character design to resemble any of the homogenous glassy-eyed foils that comprise the porn game genre. This character prostitution would be positively endearing if they'd held onto her go-get'em expression and huge '80s hair.

<img src="http://hg101.classicgaming.gamespy.com/valis/val-sp.gif" title="Now that's more like it.">

Psxphile · Post by **Psxphile** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 7:53 am

<i>Orgasm</i> Soldier now, apparently.

I remember wanting to play Valis II when it was featured in an old issue of EGM (then again when Valis III made the rounds in the import trades). The artwork was gorgeous and playing a side-scrolling hack and slash platformer as a blue-haired sexpot was tempting. Shame I lacked a PC-Engine at the time.

Speaking of which, I still consider the PC-Engine one of the sexiest little consoles to ever see the light of day. Sure, it screamed Fisher Price with its soft plastic look and overal color scheme, but damn if it wasn't cute. I guess we <i>could</i> have gotten a domestic release of that model, but NEC (like most US branch companies) had this mindset that Americans prefer their game consoles like they prefer their penises: big and bulky.

Opa-Opa · Post by **Opa-Opa** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 8:10 pm

Yeah, I never played Valis II...