A joke

Knuckles Dawson · Post by **Knuckles Dawson** » Tue Nov 08, 2005 12:46 pm

This guy's at work when he receives a call from the hospital informing him that his wife's been in an accident. He rushes to the emergency room where he's met by the doctor. They sit down in the waiting room and the doctor, with a very solemn look on his face starts to speak. But before he can, the guy interrupts.
Guy: "Doc, don't tell me my wife's dead. I just can't take it. Really, I can't take it. I love her."
Doctor: "Well, sir, I do have some bad news." Again the guy interrupts.
Guy: "Doc, just tell me, did she make it?"
Doctor: "As I was saying, we did all we could. Right now she's in a vegetative state, which is likely where she'll remain for the rest of her life. She can stay here overnight, but after that, you'll have to take her home because your insurance doesn't cover this type of thing."
The guy slumps, just crushed.
Doctor: "With the right care, which will include you feeding her five times a day, cleaning her and giving her constant care on a daily basis, she'll likely live for at least another 30 years."
The guy sinks even lower, just crushed, and starts to cry.
Doctor: "As I said, your insurance doesn't cover this kind of care, so you'll have to make some sort of arrangements to purchase the equipment you'll need for your wife. I would suggest you put your house on the market today and sell it as quickly as possible and buy a mobile home. You're gonna need the excess cash. It should be enough to buy the equipment your wife needs and for you to live on for the next couple of months. By then, you should be able to qualify for welfare and other forms of state and federal aid."
By this point, the guy is sobbing uncontrollably.
The doctor reaches over, puts his hand on his shoulder and says, "Hey, look at me."
The guy looks up and the doctor smiles and says, "I'm just fucking with you, she's dead."

muke · Post by **muke** » Tue Nov 08, 2005 11:41 pm

TRUE STORY!!!
I was talking with my friends at college when they asked me "You wanna get hammered with us tonight?" I responded "Sorry guys, but I'm driving. You see, I don't live here, I commute," which is when they replied "Don't worry about it, we could always find some place for you to crash."

Now I got a joke that will definitley get me on Del's shit list, and since I know that there has to be one guy in here who knows it, I'll just give you the beginning and let the rest of you finish it off:

How are women like KFC?

Post by **Delphine** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 12:16 am

They're treated like they're second class citizens and are critisized when they notice this?

No, wait, that's not funny.

Light Speed · Post by **Light Speed** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 12:29 am

FEMMINAZI!

Spazz · Post by **Spazz** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 12:35 am

chriscaffee · Post by **chriscaffee** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 12:51 am

I can't wait for these second class citizens to start signing up for the selective service, start serving on the front lines and be forced to follow military standards that men are required to follow.

Oh and as for the joke, it's not that funny. A somewhat clever pun, but not funny.

Lightspeed's avatar on the other hand is hilarious.

Post by **G.Silver** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 2:17 am

Right now she's in a vegetative state

Ah, that reminds me.

A carrot and a radish are in a car accident. They're both taken to the hospital, and the carrot makes a speedy recovery. He asks the doctor about the radish, and the doctor says, "I'm sorry. He'll live, but he'll always be a vegetable."

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 11:28 am

Spazz, I love you and your sexy icon.

Post by **Delphine** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 12:44 pm

chriscaffee wrote:I can't wait for these second class citizens to start signing up for the selective service, start serving on the front lines and be forced to follow military standards that men are required to follow.

Guess who makes the rules that say women can't do that.

Post by **Esrever** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 1:11 pm

Is it Chris?

Post by **Delphine** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 1:26 pm

Yes. Chris controls everything.

chriscaffee · Post by **chriscaffee** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 1:31 pm

I would say persons of authority in the military and government. Some of them actually happen to be so-called second class citizens.

That said you don't see these second class citizens protesting these inequalities, and you don't see the second class citizens that hold office or rank attempting to change them either.

Besides these second class citizens successfully fought and won sufferage, you'd think they could successfully win the right to put themselves in the same danger that men have historically been legally forced to partake in.

I think I speak for myself when I say that I would be more receptive to listening to second class citizens fuss about glass ceilings if they would be a bit more consistent about equality. Because equality isn't getting rid of disadvantages and being real quiet about the advantages and hope they don't get rid of those too, or even ignoring the advantages completely and pretending they don't exist.

Post by **Delphine** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 1:40 pm

<i>Because equality isn't getting rid of disadvantages and being real quiet about the advantages and hope they don't get rid of those too, or even ignoring the advantages completely and pretending they don't exist.</i>
You're so right. Having the door held open for me makes up for the fact that I don't make as much money as a man doing the same job as me. You win. You're so smart.

Light Speed · Post by **Light Speed** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 1:42 pm

Well I am just happy that someone got my avatar.

chriscaffee · Post by **chriscaffee** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 9:36 pm

See what I mean? Perfect example. You already forgot the examples where you are spared a death in a country ten thousand miles away. In fact I don't even remember mentioning "opening doors" ever. I guess that's what you call a strawman. You know you couldn't actually defeat my real argument so you defeated a similar but weaker one.

But let's go with your less money example. This last summer I worked at McDonalds. A job that is obviously very beneath my capabilities. However, that didn't stop me from being essentially the best employee they had, at least for day shift, I can't really speak of the night shift, since I never worked that shift. That said I probably made the least out of anyone there, including two girls that were hired after me, both of whom were younger, had less work experience and didn't do as good a job as me. Now I am not implying that they were paid more because they were girls. Honestly I don't know why they were paid more. However my experience in working has been that women generally don't do as good a job as, well, me.

So what do I get from this experience? Life isn't fair. Suck it up. Deal with it. Be glad for what you have and move on.

---

Yeah. I just learned the material that is relevant to understanding your avatar. I actually had to work it out because I didn't pay attention in lecture. It's even better then my cross product joke. Two of my engineering buddies thought it was pretty good.

Light Speed · Post by **Light Speed** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 10:05 pm

The cross product joke or my avatar?

I've been meaning to change my avatar to some form of that for a long time, but I never bothered, it just seemed like the time yesterday when I should have been studying for a math test.

plasticwingsband · Post by **plasticwingsband** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 10:07 pm

I wish I was smart enough to understand your avatar D:

chriscaffee · Post by **chriscaffee** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 10:15 pm

Your avatar. One of them is actually a physics/comp-sci dude, so he would have understood it in high school, the other is a straight man (mechanic engineering) major so he only would have just got this week. Great timing for a sig change. Any sooner and I would've been "WTF?"

Light Speed · Post by **Light Speed** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 10:17 pm

Wait a sec, no one ever finished the KFC joke, how are women like KFC? I'm curious.

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 10:34 pm

They're finger-licking good?

chriscaffee · Post by **chriscaffee** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 10:36 pm

Google wrote:When your done with the breast and thighs, all your left with is a greasy box to put your bone in.

Light Speed · Post by **Light Speed** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 10:39 pm

Google made a grammar boo-boo!

Post by **Delphine** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 10:41 pm

chriscaffee wrote:See what I mean? Perfect example. You already forgot the examples where you are spared a death in a country ten thousand miles away. In fact I don't even remember mentioning "opening doors" ever. I guess that's what you call a strawman. You know you couldn't actually defeat my real argument so you defeated a similar but weaker one.

Sorry, it's just hard for me to take that argument seriously anymore, I've heard it so many times. Women don't want or need to be spared death in a faraway country. It's not that we don't go because we're scared or don't want to or are incapable of handling it; it's that men, for years and years and years, have <i>assumed</i> we can't, and we, in turn, because we've been told so for years and years and years, have done the same. And that's the case with a lot of things.

It's not as bad as it used to be, obviously -- men are actually arrested for beating their wives, on occasion, and I can go to school and get a job -- but it could be better. And yes, there are women who propagate the stereotypes -- because they don't know any better. When you're told all your life, subtly, everyday, by everyone, that you're not as good, well, gosh, you kinda start to believe it.

Baba O'Reily · Post by **Baba O'Reily** » Thu Nov 10, 2005 5:55 pm

BAH BAH BAH FUCK BOTH OF YOU THE WORLD FUCKING SUCKS MOVE ON

Senbei · Post by **Senbei** » Thu Nov 10, 2005 8:33 pm

Agreed. Bitching won't do much good on either side of any argument. The only way anything can be accomplished is through action, and since there are far too many complications to revolution or whatever, and since we're all too lazy or too afraid to rise up and demand change, we might as well move on. I can see both sides of this argument, and neither is going to get anywhere.

Of course, I'm not saying stop arguing. I'm just saying that the world sucks. And THAT is the ultimate punchline.