I decide that I want to take down the Weapons. In order to do this, I need some very high class materia: Namely, Knights of the Round. So, for the past week, I've been raising Chocobo. This is my chronicle of that event.
Day 1:
I consult my buddy Chocobo Sage. He mentions something about a Good and a Great chocobo. I decide to go to GameFAQs. I rent out 6 chocobo stables.
Went to Mideel. Captured a Great Female Chocobo. All was good. Flew to Gold Saucer area. Accidentally overshot it and ran into Ruby Weapon. One ass kicking later, I reload my game, and I'm flying to Gold Saucer. I land just outside the desert, run around like a loon for 15 minutes, catch a Good Male chocobo, then save.
Day 2:
I find out I need Carob Nuts. Son of a bitch. I fly to Bone Village. I giggle every so often at the name. I land on the island south of it and pick fights with monsters that have 40,000 HP. Fortuantely, I have 4x-Cut and Ultima Weapon to speed the process up. I get 9 Carob Nuts, because I just know I'll fuck up somewhere. I then raise the Good Male and Great Female to A class after dropping about 300,000 gil on Sylkis Greens. I save outside of the ranch.
Day 3:
I breed my first exotic chocobo. I label her EdeaGr (Gr for Green), and I run around the Midgar area, revelling in my newfound mobility. I run around Crater a few times for good measure. I then go to Wutai and pick up the bitchin' Mimic materia. I then take a small break from my Chocobo adventures to finally earn W-Summon. I then try to breed a blue chocobo and fail miserably. I save it, then start crying like a little girl.
Day 4:
I decide to go to Goblin Island and get Zeio Nuts, for I am a genius. I also pick up a Wonderful Male chocobo while I'm near the north, and get him to S rank. I eventually overbreed him and have to get another one, but more on that later. I get 5 Zeio nuts and breed Edea with Wonderful Male, and I get a male Green. I name him VanGr, get him to S Class. I ditch Good Male and Great Female after having them breed, and I ditch their baby as well. I then save.
Day 5:
First instance of Chocobo inbreeding occurs. I have mother sleep with son and produce JudyBl (Bl being for Blue). I then fly over to the Mideel area and get Quadra Magic. I then combine QM, W-Summon, HP Absorb, MP Absorb, MP Turbo, Mimic, and Leviathan. I achieve omnipotence.
Sort of.
I get JudyBl to S Rank, and save it. I have now spent 750,000 on Sylkis Greens.
Day 6:
More incest! Judy's grandmother is also her mother as well as her mother in-law. Judy and Van breed, and produce AriaB (B being for Black). More Sylkis Greens down the tube. For good measure (And to speed up Aria's aging), Wonderful Male does the wrong thing with Edea, and I ditch everyone but WM and Aria. I chocobo over to North Corel and get HP/MP Switch, which definitely pales in comparison to the other two I've gotten. Now, you may be curious, "Why do you hate Chocobos now?" That comes in the next day. I also get Aria to S Rank. She's ready to breed. I save, and go to sleep, thinking all is right and nifty in the world.
Day 7:
I find out that Wonderful Male is not so Wonderful in the sack, and needs a cooldown period. I ditch him like the useless bastard he is. I go out and spend half a fucking hour looking for Wonderful Chocobos. The first eight I get (Yes, EIGHT) are all female. Sadly, Aria is not a lesbian. Also, she does not have boy parts, thus, conception would prove rather difficult. I save, flip off the sky, then run off to cry.
Day 8:
I catch a Male Wonderful. All is good. I spend an hour getting him to S Rank. I save, and then I quit early.
Today:
I woke up this morning, expecting to have a Golden Chocobo before my toast was done. It wasn't happening. 9 tries, all with the Zeio Nut, both of the chocobos with maxed stats. Nothing. I now have a stable filled with Black Chocobo. I then beat my head against the wall, cursing the sky, wondering who would be cruel enough to do this to me. I'd done everything correctly, or so I thought. In short, it wasn't enough.
So close, yet so far...
