Chocobos can go rot in hell. (Another anecdote.)

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Baba O'Reily
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Chocobos can go rot in hell. (Another anecdote.)

Post by Baba O'Reily »

I was replaying FF7 for nostalgia's sake. It's been 6 years since I last played it, and I never got Knights of the Round, Omnislash, or any of the other really broken attacks in that game. So let's fast-forward to Disc 3.
I decide that I want to take down the Weapons. In order to do this, I need some very high class materia: Namely, Knights of the Round. So, for the past week, I've been raising Chocobo. This is my chronicle of that event.

Day 1:
I consult my buddy Chocobo Sage. He mentions something about a Good and a Great chocobo. I decide to go to GameFAQs. I rent out 6 chocobo stables.
Went to Mideel. Captured a Great Female Chocobo. All was good. Flew to Gold Saucer area. Accidentally overshot it and ran into Ruby Weapon. One ass kicking later, I reload my game, and I'm flying to Gold Saucer. I land just outside the desert, run around like a loon for 15 minutes, catch a Good Male chocobo, then save.

Day 2:
I find out I need Carob Nuts. Son of a bitch. I fly to Bone Village. I giggle every so often at the name. I land on the island south of it and pick fights with monsters that have 40,000 HP. Fortuantely, I have 4x-Cut and Ultima Weapon to speed the process up. I get 9 Carob Nuts, because I just know I'll fuck up somewhere. I then raise the Good Male and Great Female to A class after dropping about 300,000 gil on Sylkis Greens. I save outside of the ranch.

Day 3:
I breed my first exotic chocobo. I label her EdeaGr (Gr for Green), and I run around the Midgar area, revelling in my newfound mobility. I run around Crater a few times for good measure. I then go to Wutai and pick up the bitchin' Mimic materia. I then take a small break from my Chocobo adventures to finally earn W-Summon. I then try to breed a blue chocobo and fail miserably. I save it, then start crying like a little girl.

Day 4:
I decide to go to Goblin Island and get Zeio Nuts, for I am a genius. I also pick up a Wonderful Male chocobo while I'm near the north, and get him to S rank. I eventually overbreed him and have to get another one, but more on that later. I get 5 Zeio nuts and breed Edea with Wonderful Male, and I get a male Green. I name him VanGr, get him to S Class. I ditch Good Male and Great Female after having them breed, and I ditch their baby as well. I then save.

Day 5:
First instance of Chocobo inbreeding occurs. I have mother sleep with son and produce JudyBl (Bl being for Blue). I then fly over to the Mideel area and get Quadra Magic. I then combine QM, W-Summon, HP Absorb, MP Absorb, MP Turbo, Mimic, and Leviathan. I achieve omnipotence.
Sort of.
I get JudyBl to S Rank, and save it. I have now spent 750,000 on Sylkis Greens.

Day 6:
More incest! Judy's grandmother is also her mother as well as her mother in-law. Judy and Van breed, and produce AriaB (B being for Black). More Sylkis Greens down the tube. For good measure (And to speed up Aria's aging), Wonderful Male does the wrong thing with Edea, and I ditch everyone but WM and Aria. I chocobo over to North Corel and get HP/MP Switch, which definitely pales in comparison to the other two I've gotten. Now, you may be curious, "Why do you hate Chocobos now?" That comes in the next day. I also get Aria to S Rank. She's ready to breed. I save, and go to sleep, thinking all is right and nifty in the world.

Day 7:
I find out that Wonderful Male is not so Wonderful in the sack, and needs a cooldown period. I ditch him like the useless bastard he is. I go out and spend half a fucking hour looking for Wonderful Chocobos. The first eight I get (Yes, EIGHT) are all female. Sadly, Aria is not a lesbian. Also, she does not have boy parts, thus, conception would prove rather difficult. I save, flip off the sky, then run off to cry.

Day 8:
I catch a Male Wonderful. All is good. I spend an hour getting him to S Rank. I save, and then I quit early.

Today:
I woke up this morning, expecting to have a Golden Chocobo before my toast was done. It wasn't happening. 9 tries, all with the Zeio Nut, both of the chocobos with maxed stats. Nothing. I now have a stable filled with Black Chocobo. I then beat my head against the wall, cursing the sky, wondering who would be cruel enough to do this to me. I'd done everything correctly, or so I thought. In short, it wasn't enough.

Image
So close, yet so far...

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Post by Cuckooguy »

Don't you get a gold Chocobo anyway once you defeat one of the weapons? That kinda makes Chocobo raising pointless.

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Post by Baba O'Reily »

Ah, but in order to stand a chance of defeating the weapons, there are several useful materia that you can only get by raising Chocobo. Otherwise, I wouldn't have bothered.

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Post by Green Gibbon! »

It's been years since I played, but I remember getting a golden Chocobo without much difficulty. Maybe you just suck.

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Post by Delphine »

Yeah, with the guide I got a Golden Chocobo in a single session.

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Post by tornadot »

I just say, screw it, beat Ruby Weapon without KOTR to show how good you are (Or how insane you are) and get the Gold bird...I'm darn too lazy to sit around throught that insanely long process...

Oh yeah you have to trade the Desert Rose with the Kalm Traveler to get the Gold bird (Which you win from Ruby)

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Post by Kishi »

I also have no trouble getting a gold one every time I play the game. I've heard plenty of other people complain about this, though.

If you really suck that much, though, it's not like you need Knights of Round to beat any of the Weapons. There are plenty of other strategies.

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Post by Opa-Opa »

Yeah, I got Goldie (agh, THAT was its name? I should be sick) easily too. Defeating the Weapons was a whole different thing.

I never got the 3 things the guy asked. I got the rose and the, um, other thingie you got when defeating the Ultima Weapon under the sea. I never aquired the other thing. Bummer.

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Post by Baba O'Reily »

The other thing was Underwater materia. You got it from Morphing the Ghost Ship.
Anyways, I finally got one, and I no longer use the Highwind, because the Highwind did not let me get KOTR. I just hooked it up to HP Absorb and I'm just miming my way through the battle.
And I totally kicked Ruby's ass.

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Post by Neo Yi »

I know the feeling. The first time I did Chocobo breeding, it was hard as shit.

Second time, it was MUCH easier. But damn, it's so time consuming...
~Neo

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Post by Ancient »

Day 2:
I find out I need Carob Nuts. Son of a bitch. I fly to Bone Village. I giggle every so often at the name. I land on the island south of it and pick fights with monsters that have 40,000 HP. Fortuantely, I have 4x-Cut and Ultima Weapon to speed the process up. I get 9 Carob Nuts, because I just know I'll fuck up somewhere. .
You do realise you can just steal them don't you?

And the underwater materia isn't really necessary, Emerald is easily beatable in under 20 minutes

But yes, FF mini-games have always pissed me off. I feel sorry for the people who do them without walkthroughs

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Post by j-man »

If you have W-Item Materia you can clone items in battle, thus cutting expenses 100%.

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Post by VGJustice »

I've got a trick for Chocobo breeding, and I'm sure that you're glad I'm about to tell you this, concidering you did it the long way. Save, then have Choco-Orgy. If things don't come out right, re-load. Now, Choco-Orgy again right away. Don't know if you play that way, cheating and all, but it does save on sanity.

And, yes, you get a Gold Choco from one of the weapons (Ruby?), but it's almost impossible to achieve without Knights of Round. But, I think you can do it with Final Attack and Mime.

Oh, and you want broken? Try this: W-Summon an MP Absorb Knights of Round and a Quaded Bahamut Zero. Takes about.... what? 5 minutes of your life?

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Post by Ancient »

If you have the patience to prepare a 'Cloud' capable of beating Ruby without Knights of the Round... You easily have the patience to deal with chocobos

Besides, mime is in one of the caves that can only be accessed through chocobos

So beating Ruby without touching the chocobo side-quest is nigh impossible

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Post by VGJustice »

Much easier to get River/Mountain/Black Chocos than a Gold.

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Post by Psxphile »

VGJustice wrote:I've got a trick for Chocobo breeding, and I'm sure that you're glad I'm about to tell you this, concidering you did it the long way. Save, then have Choco-Orgy. If things don't come out right, re-load. Now, Choco-Orgy again right away. Don't know if you play that way, cheating and all, but it does save on sanity.
Yeah, I was going to mention that too. I mean, over-breeding? Shit. Save and reload was like one of the first things you learn from GameFAQs and other assorted strategy compediums about Choco-breeding.

Playing it straight when the result is what this particular post dictates, is simply <i>not right</i>. Cutting corners, now <b>that's</b> the American way.

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Post by VGJustice »

I didn't even NEED GameFAQ's for that trick

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Post by Baba O'Reily »

I like to exploit the game as much as anyone else, but come on. Now, if I were using save states, this would be a different story.

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Post by Brazillian Cara »

I don't have anything useful to say, so...

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=72

...just for the sake of it.

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Post by The Scarlet Scorpion »

Someday I've got to play that game... but first, I'd probably need a Playstation, wouldn't I?

And "W-Summon"? What's that, some way to contact junkies turned politicians?

Like I said, I've never played it.

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Post by Baba O'Reily »

W-Summon lets you use 2 summons in one turn.

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Post by Kishi »

Don't spoil TSS's masterful political humor.

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Post by Omni Hunter »

Baba O'Reily wrote:W-Summon lets you use 2 summons in one turn.
Which makes KOTR even more broken.

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Post by tornadot »

I swear these new FF games have too many easy ways to beat the powerful bosses...I hate it when games have to cater to a more casual audience...what happened to the super hard FF games that really made you want to chuck your controller, like 5 or the original FF for that matter.

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Post by Double-S- »

Because level grinding is not fun.

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