ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!!
The logical progression of this conversation, of course, brings us directly to this:
<img src="/gibbon/nights2.jpg">
Sadly, we have only ourselves to blame. If we the elite few hadn't spent the past decade rambling in reverent tones about the majesty of the Saturn original, the current generation of teenyboppers and two-bit sham journalists wouldn't acknowledge the game as a legend (Lord knows they've never played it), and the Saturn (and indeed Sonic Team's) finest hour wouldn't now be on the sacrificial pedestal. Furthermore, I am of the growing impression that I've been entirely too hard on Naka these past few years, for only after his departure from the company did this bomb finally drop, leading me to believe that he was perhaps single-handedly defending the sanctity of the property. (He certainly had the clout to do such a thing.) No, this is all on br'er Iizuka, and while it's true that he was one of the lead designers on the original game, he is the last man standing and - as recent history has proven - is not to be trusted.
While we're on that track, the long-forbidden tryst between hedgehog and plumber is finally materializing, and while in theory I don't find that as offensive as an uncalled-for sequel to a game that was apparently too perfect to leave unravaged, the circumstances of the liaison are depressing. I will lay it out on the table now: the olympics are stupid. I will not discuss this point further because there is nothing further to discuss. I would've been more than prepared for a cameo in Smash Bros (I mean if they're gonna toss Solid fucking Snake in there, why the hell not?). Even a cute, unpretentious party game might've been easier to stomach than a crass tie-in product designed to promote an overblown real-world sporting event. It's like watching John Wayne and Toshiro Mifune doing an infomercial.
BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS THIS.
A couple years ago I resolved to scour the site and remove all the old text that now makes me wince. I did not realize at the time that this would mean rewriting (occasionally two or three times) every single page in the museum. At long last, the end of this herculean task is in sight: the museum is, at present, up-to-date (more or less) through Sonic Adventure 2. As usual, there's lots of new information - the Sonic Adventure pages in particular are now derived more heavily from the Japanese source text than the occasionally compromised translations - but I'm sure I've let errors aplenty slip through the cracks, and I assume I no longer have to ask for a volunteer proofreader or three to let me know of any boo-boo's. By all means, let the roast commence.
A few people in the forum have complained that the museum pages are no longer as interesting to read as they once were. It's a criticism I've taken to heart, though I'm not sure how to respond to it. I myself think the writing on the site is better than it's ever been (which, mind, is not saying much). Certainly the tone has changed - my synopses clearly don't have the sense of immediacy they once did, being now written by a crotchety old man from a purely retrospective standpoint. I like to think my sense of humor hasn't deteriorated that drastically (good Lord, it's all I've got left). I know I certainly haven't been making any deliberate efforts to tone down the funny schtick, but at the same time I haven't hesitated to remove any of the old schtick I no longer consider funny. Perhaps the truth is simply - and I knew this day would come eventually - that I am no longer hip.
Rather than end this six-month-late update on such a somber note, I think it worthwhile to point out this culturally relevant thread in the forum:
viewtopic.php?t=2126. GHZer Locit, exemplifying the bold spirit of discovery characteristic of our race, has ventured to open a decade old can of Sonic spaghettio's. This could well be the first time in history this has been attempted, and the experiment has significance that extends far beyond the wayward realm of Sonic fandom. Excelsior!
